13 Things Every Nigerian On Lockdown Alone Will Get

April 9, 2020

1. You, after eating your 7th meal before 6pm:

I clearly need help.

2. What your sink looks like right now:

Those plates better get up and wash themselves.

3. When you smell yourself after refusing to bath for days.

I’ve not even done anything, why am I smelling?

4. You, after eating all your lockdown snacks in one day:

I’m clearly a clown.

5. You, gisting with your wall after day 10:

“So, what’s it like holding up the roof?”

6. Your brain every 10 seconds:

You know what time it is.

7. You, having your third mental breakdown in the day:

Somebody save me.

8. When you see people online going out and ignoring the lockdown.

So, me that I’m at home, I’m daft?

9. When you see people enjoying lockdown with their partners.

Get out of my face with your love.

10. You, trying to convince yourself to work out:

“Just do one jumping jack, bro.”

11. When you realise your feet haven’t touched the floor in days.

Get your shit together.

12. You, trying to remember what day of the week it is:

Is it Saturday or Thursday?

13. You, watching your house shrink with each passing day:

Has my house always been this small?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

December 2, 2018

Getting married is a beautiful experience. And getting ready to live the rest of your life with the one you love is exhilarating. But because we Nigerians are the way we are getting married here is a pretty unique experience compared with the rest of the world. You’ll find that everyone from your security guard […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X