13 Things Every Nigerian On Lockdown Alone Will Get

April 9, 2020

1. You, after eating your 7th meal before 6pm:

I clearly need help.

2. What your sink looks like right now:

Those plates better get up and wash themselves.

3. When you smell yourself after refusing to bath for days.

I’ve not even done anything, why am I smelling?

4. You, after eating all your lockdown snacks in one day:

I’m clearly a clown.

5. You, gisting with your wall after day 10:

“So, what’s it like holding up the roof?”

6. Your brain every 10 seconds:

You know what time it is.

7. You, having your third mental breakdown in the day:

Somebody save me.

8. When you see people online going out and ignoring the lockdown.

So, me that I’m at home, I’m daft?

9. When you see people enjoying lockdown with their partners.

Get out of my face with your love.

10. You, trying to convince yourself to work out:

“Just do one jumping jack, bro.”

11. When you realise your feet haven’t touched the floor in days.

Get your shit together.

12. You, trying to remember what day of the week it is:

Is it Saturday or Thursday?

13. You, watching your house shrink with each passing day:

Has my house always been this small?

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

How was your night
March 9, 2020

For the life of me, I have never understood why people ask ‘how was your night’. What response do these special people expect when they ask this? Do they think I’ll sit them down and explain that my eye is twitching because I spent all night binge-watching Assistant Madams and writing a thesis as to […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 4, 2021

If you are working a job you hate and you have thought of all the possible ways to resign from that job, we advise you to take some cues from these few Nigerians. These options might be a bit dramatic, but trust us, they work. Tony, 30 I used to work at this job where […]

August 4, 2021

Are you tired of looking like everyone on your street? This article is for you. Zikoko is here to, once again, give you premium advice on how to go from a boring looking man to a man people will have no choice but to stop and stare at. Think we’re lying? Try at least one […]

August 4, 2021

Let’s be honest, everyone loves extra money. A side hustle might be what’s standing between you and the soft life. But you need to work for it, and a side hustle is one way to ensure that it happens. The best part? You’re building a business while you still have a stable job and income. […]

Dating a creative
August 4, 2021

The regular dating pool is a mess and all the people in it are various levels of terrible. But that is nothing compared to the gutter that is dating creatives.  If you need a reason why you shouldn’t date a creative, here are 10. 1. They are either overdressed or underdressed  Or sometimes, a weird […]

August 4, 2021

Parties are fun and lit right, but there is no way a party is ever complete without taking amazing pictures – and this what TECNO helped the housemates achieve at the first Saturday night party in the Shine Ya Eyes mansion. Housemates after taking out time to look their best on the dance floor, gave […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

More from Inside Life

August 4, 2021

If you are working a job you hate and you have thought of all the possible ways to resign from that job, we advise you to take some cues from these few Nigerians. These options might be a bit dramatic, but trust us, they work. Tony, 30 I used to work at this job where […]

Dating a creative
August 4, 2021

The regular dating pool is a mess and all the people in it are various levels of terrible. But that is nothing compared to the gutter that is dating creatives.  If you need a reason why you shouldn’t date a creative, here are 10. 1. They are either overdressed or underdressed  Or sometimes, a weird […]

August 3, 2021

You’re probably on the wrong side of Twitter NG if you’ve not seen any tweets from user, @deoors. Recently, I saw a couple of really nice tweets from him, so I decided to do a deep dive on his account and find some more bangers. You’ll smile (or chuckle a bit) throughout this post. 1. […]

August 3, 2021

The show has started and housemates are already giving their fans something to talk about. Here are five things you need to enjoy Big Brother Naija Season 6 wherever you are in Nigeria, other African countries, or the UK. 1. Cool Friends You may need to change your friends if they yab you for loving […]

August 3, 2021

There are very few things that make adults happy. The word ‘adult’ here is used loosely because some of you are 18 and you only barely qualify as adults. Truth is, the older you get, the more simple things make you happy.  1. Finding the perfect grocery store Not everyone can say that they have […]

August 2, 2021

July was a very eventful month. So much happened— Euros, BBNaija, Obi Cubana’s mother’s burial. Because Nigerians have coconut heads, they still managed to tweet these bangers even with the Twitter ban. You’ll laugh at these tweets. 1. I can’t think about this tweet and not burst into laughter. 2. Titilola is arriving in 5 […]

August 1, 2021

Ghosting can be weird – whether you’re the one being ghosted or doing the ghosting. When this happens, you’re likely to go through phases of worry, confusion, self-doubt, anger and finally make-everybody-getat. Wondering why exactly you’re being ghosted? Especially from people you really want to be in communication with? Here are 8 possible reasons. 1. […]

August 1, 2021

We recently stumbled upon a secret ancient book of Nigerian women’s secrets that has been passed down from generation to generation. The book contained the guide to being a wicked Nigerian woman, a stubborn Nigerian woman, and so much more. But one thing that attracted us was the chapter that contained the guide to shooting […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X