10 Types of People Returning to Work this Week

January 6, 2022

It’s another year of capitalism and just like you, we’re over it already. We’re back to the early morning struggles of waking up and rushing out by 8:30 a.m. with the hopes of getting to work by 8:00 a.m. The absolute ghetto. 

If you’re heading back this week, we bet you can relate to at least one person on this list.

1. The confused one

You have absolutely no idea about how we went from “Merry Christmas” to “Please find attached” all over again.

2. The angry one

You’re not even in the mood for eye contact, much less someone telling you, “Welcome back! ” HR won’t be able to separate the fight that’ll start between you and whoever tells you that shit.

3. The hungry one

The only thing you missed about work is the fluffy amala and soft kpomo Iya Sukirat sells on the street behind your office. Capitalism is awful so we can’t even judge you for using food to numb the pain.

4. The unprepared

You haven’t re-downloaded Slack and are still wondering if  the Monday meeting you have memory of was a dream or not. Like, does your boss really expect that document by Friday? What is work?

5. Eye service ogas/madams

You’ve already prepared a powerpoint presentation to explain how your holiday went, and cc’d everyone for the catch up meeting on Friday. All your colleagues hate you and will pour laxatives in your coffee/tea whenever they get the chance.

6. Already tired

It’s barely noon and all you want to do is sleep. Like can we skip ahead to another holiday season? You pull out the year’s calendar to check for the next public holiday and find out that there isn’t one until APRIL. The despair you feel makes you even more tired.

7. The lovers

You’re back and ready to continue your secret but steady knacks in the office toilet.

8. The scapegoat

It’s been two days since you resumed and your line manager has already dragged you across Slack for the entire company to see.. Pele dear.

9. The newcomers

You are just filled with energy and happy to be employed. Give it another week. Nobody will tell you to relax.

10. The ones that never go back

Who capitalism epp?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

December 4, 2020

If your friends are bugging you to join them for outings this month, we have the perfect harmattan excuses to help you stay indoors. You’re welcome. 1. “The sun is too hot” This one isn’t even an excuse. It’s a fact. The sun these days can make somebody run mad. Just stay inside your house. […]

August 3, 2021

You’re probably on the wrong side of Twitter NG if you’ve not seen any tweets from user, @deoors. Recently, I saw a couple of really nice tweets from him, so I decided to do a deep dive on his account and find some more bangers. You’ll smile (or chuckle a bit) throughout this post. 1. […]

November 29, 2020

While you were off sleeping when your mates were out painting the town red, contestants of reality TV show MTN Y’ello Star were turning up the volume at the craziest party. Sponsored by Music Time, the party featured celebrity DJ Kaywise and tons of fun. Here are our favourite moments from the party. 1. The […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X