On August 16, 2026, Trinidadian model Alicia Daniella called out her husband, popular wedding photographer David Martins, alleging that he had subjected her to domestic violence during their three-year marriage.

The same day Alicia called out David, the couple’s neighbour came out to support her claims.

Alicia claimed that she experienced physical, verbal and psychological abuse at the hands of David. She described an alleged incident in which he attacked her while she was holding their three-month-old son, leaving her with a busted lip and almost knocking out one of her teeth. 

In her posts, Alicia also added that she had heard stories about how David had allegedly physically abused other women before their relationship, but she believed that what had happened to those women would not become her reality.

“I had heard stories about allegations involving other women before me. For a long time, I seperated those stories from the person I loved. I wanted to believe what I had heard could never become my reality. Until it did. That’s my accountability, and that’s the bad choice I made.”

– Alicia on her IG Story

Now here’s the uncomfortable part: two things can be true at once.

We can question her decision without questioning whether she deserved what happened to her.

Yes, we should be able to acknowledge that the woman is a victim while recognising that, if you know that someone has been accused of abusive behaviour by previous partners, ignoring those warnings because you believe your relationship will be different with you is a decision worth examining. 

Knowing about someone’s alleged history does not equate to consenting to experiencing the same treatment. A woman can make a decision that, in hindsight, she wishes she had made differently and still deserves compassion and support when she finds herself in an abusive relationship.

We should be able to say, “You really should have taken those warnings seriously,” without saying, “You knew, so anything that happens, you should take it like that.” Victim blaming is not cute. 

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But Why Do Some Women Think They’ll Be the Exception?

Perhaps the uncomfortable question that we should all be asking here is, why do you believe you will be different or special from the rest? 

Why do you hear that a man has abused previous partners, and convince yourself that your relationship with him will be different? Maybe you believe he has changed. Maybe you think the previous women just didn’t understand, and that was why he was “provoked” into hurting them. Maybe it’s the whole “I can fix him” some of us saw our mothers doing, and we decided to emulate. Maybe you think they brought out a side of him that you will never see, or maybe you simply believe that the way he treats you is the version of him that matters.

Sometimes, people genuinely do change. Someone’s past does not automatically determine their future, but when there are repeated warnings about their behaviour, love should not blind you to the point of ignoring them.

We should be able to believe that people can change while also asking whether there is actually evidence that they have, because perhaps, the real danger here is not believing that someone can change. It is believing that we will be the ones who change them. We can’t exactly change someone who does not want to be changed. 

When that hope turns out to be misplaced, it still does not mean we deserved the harm that followed. It just means that in choosing to believe you would be the exception, you may have ignored warnings that were actually worth taking seriously.

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