For many Nigerian women, exploring different sex positions isn’t just about trying something new; it’s about discovering angles, rhythms, and dynamics that finally make sex feel more satisfying and open the door to deeper pleasure. It’s less about performing for a partner (read: man) and more about discovering what makes us feel good.
We asked 10 women to share the positions that rocked their world, and then turned to experts to explain why they work. In this article, we break down 9 positions with insights from Yeside Olayinka-Agbola (aka Olori Coitus), a certified sexual and reproductive health specialist and intimacy coach, and Halima Mason, an AASECT-certified sex & relationship therapist with an MSc in Psychology.
1. Cowgirl
To get into this position, you straddle your partner on top while they lie back, either in bed or on a flat surface. Think of it like sitting in a saddle, your thighs on either side of their hips. Lean forward and either let them or guide their penis or strap-on into you. Depending on the size and depth of your partner, it can feel like a lot. Take a moment to adjust and pause here if you need to. When you’re ready, you can start grinding against them or slowly sliding up and down.
When this position is between two people with vulvas and no strap, the setup starts the same: one partner lies on their back while the other gets on top. The twist is that there’s no penetration, besides finger play. Instead, both vulvas meet, or vulva to pelvis and vice versa, depending on flexibility. This way, both partners have a body part pressing directly against each other’s clit.
“It just hits the spot, and honestly, I love that I can look at my partner while I’m on top” — Ada*, 29, Hetero.
Cowgirl gives me this full, pleasurable feeling. It just hits the spot, and honestly, I love that I can look at my partner while I’m on top. The only problem is when it’s leg day, my thighs start screaming. But apart from that, it’s worth it. What really works is taking a deep breath, easing into it, then going slow. You set the pace, so you have to make yourself comfortable.
Expert Insight
The idea of being on top can sometimes feel intimidating and counter to traditional gender roles. Although for many women, this is precisely what makes these positions so appealing; they offer a chance to break free from those expectations and delve into their personal power and agency.
With positions that give women control, the appeal is typically that power and pleasure. The woman is in control of the depth, pace and angle. Having this control makes her confident and mentally frees her to focus on what feels good for her body. Always start with communication before you even take your clothes off. Discuss each other’s comfort levels. Start slowly and be prepared to stop if it feels uncomfortable.
It’s important to be aware that there is a risk of loss of balance during movement in some positions, like Reverse Cowgirl/Cowgirl, so it’s important to communicate and move slowly during transitions. — Olori Coitus: Sexual and Reproductive Health Educator
2. Reverse Cowgirl
This is basically cowgirl, but flipped. You straddle your partner while facing away from them. Your back is to their chest, putting you in full control of the pace and depth. Leaning forward puts you at a tighter angle, which can make penetration feel deeper, while sitting upright lets you grind against their pelvis for clitoral stimulation. You lose eye contact here, but gain a totally different, almost mind-numbing sensation and a new view if you’re feeling playful (Try it in front of a mirror).
“If she pauses mid-stroke to finger me or switch up the rhythm, I’m gone. If I don’t cum after that, call me a bastard ”— Tayo*, 24, Pan.
Let’s just say I like being in control. Reverse Cowgirl gives me that. The drawback, though? I hate that I can’t see her face; it feels like I’m missing something. But the angle makes up for it, when I lean forward, penetration feels tighter, deeper, like she’s reaching somewhere new. Sometimes I sit upright and grind against her for clit stimulation, but that’s when my thighs start burning. And honestly, communication is key here. If she pauses mid-stroke to finger me or switch up the rhythm, I’m gone. If I don’t cum after that, call me a bastard.
Expert Insight
Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl are perfect for grinding, tribbing, or strap-on play. They let women control angle, depth, and rhythm, which makes clitoral stimulation easier to fine-tune. What matters most is communication, laughter, and creativity with hands, mouths, and toys.
Control positions such as these feel empowering because women can direct their own pleasure and adjust stimulation exactly how they need it, whether it’s speed or pressure, it puts them in the driver’s seat. In Cowgirl, begin with gentle rocking before building movement. Plus-size women often prefer Cowgirl with the partner reclined for support. Note that the person underneath should avoid thrusting too hard since the partner on top is guiding the movement.
Reverse Cowgirl sparks some of the most curiosity with women, but also the most self-consciousness. Some women shy away from being on top because of body image worries or fear of being too exposed. I would say the positions that create the most satisfaction are the ones that allow communication and adjustments, regardless of how adventurous they seem. — Halima Mason: Sex Therapist
3. Missionary
A classic for a reason. Start by lying on your back with your partner on top, bodies pressed together chest-to-chest. This position can get very intimate; you can kiss, touch, and feel each other’s full weight. Picture your partner hovering over you, their hot breath against your ear so you hear every grunt, moan or sigh.
Penetration is pretty straightforward, but adding a pillow under your hips tilts your pelvis, creating a sharper angle that allows for deeper strokes. Wrapping your legs around your partner or lifting them up can intensify the sensation while allowing your partner full range to essentially drill into you.
When this position is between two people with vulvas, the setup starts the same: one partner lies on their back while the other gets on top. The twist is that the top doesn’t settle between the bottom’s legs. Instead, the bottom slides one thigh between the top’s legs. This way, both partners have their thighs pressing directly against each other’s clit. To intensify the sensation, the bottom can raise her thigh a little higher, letting the top’s clit push deeper into the pressure of her leg. If you’re feeling like it, any one of you can slip a finger or two inside each other.
“It feels like the easiest and laziest position, which is why I like it.”— Nimi*, 22, Hetero.
Missionary was… okay. Our bodies were touching, I could literally hear his breath, and he was telling me how good I was, so it was intimate in that sense. But to me, it feels like the easiest and laziest position, which is why I like it. Straightforward, no stress. I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite because sex isn’t always that enjoyable for me generally, but if you add a pillow under my hips or I wrap my legs around him, then it feels deeper and better. Otherwise, it’s just there.
Expert Insight
In my experience, we African women have generally been raised to have conservative mindsets on sexuality, and this can make some women initially prefer more traditional positions, such as missionary. Missionary tends to be the comfortable entry-level position for many.
Ironically, Missionary also often creates anxiety. The misconception that this position should lead to orgasm from penetration alone is widespread, and when it doesn’t happen, women feel like they are “failing” or that something is wrong with them.
I explain that the Missionary position, in its traditional form, is not naturally clitoris-focused. The key to making it work is to adapt it with a pillow or by a simple change in angle, which allows for crucial clitoral contact. Releasing them from the pressure to climax through penetration alone and giving them simple, practical tips is often a huge relief.
In this position, use a pillow under the hips to provide support and avoid strain on the lower back. — Olori Coitus: Sexual and Reproductive Health Educator
Missionary allows intimacy, kissing, and toy sharing. Many women begin with positions seen as traditional, such as Missionary or side-lying, because they feel less exposed. Some view Cowgirl or Doggy as too sexual or inappropriate for a “decent woman.”
In many cases, women also allow their male or masc partners to initiate, take charge, and choose the starting positions during sex. Body image plays a role too, as some women worry about how their breasts (too small/not feminine enough or too big/flat or ‘flappy’) or even their orgasm faces when on top, especially if the lights are on. On the other hand, once women embrace their right to pleasure, many feel empowered by taking control. — Halima Mason: Sex Therapist
These positions are favourites because they create different pathways to pleasure. Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl let women control angle, depth, and rhythm, which makes clitoral stimulation easier to fine-tune. Missionary, especially with the “speed bump” pillow trick, tilts the pelvis to stimulate the G-spot and the internal clitoral network.
Halima Mason
Doggy Style & Its Variants
Doggy is one of those positions that women either rave about or side-eye until they finally try it. The deep strokes, the angles, the way it leaves you open without needing to “perform”, it’s a fan favourite for a reason. This explains why so many variations have sprouted out of the original.
4. Classic Doggy (Backshots)
You’re on all fours, hands and knees, with your partner entering into you with their penis, finger or strap-on from behind. This position opens up your hips and gives them control of depth and pace. Depending on how high or low you arch your back, penetration can go from shallow and teasing to deep and intense. Because you’re angled forward, many women find it stimulates the G-spot more easily. You can rest on your elbows for support or hold onto pillows for comfort.
“I like that I don’t need to see a face; I can just be in the sensation.” — Esohe*, 25, Bi.
“Doggy? I would describe the position in one word: satisfying. It hits the right spot, no debate. I think every woman should try it at least once. The first time, it felt like something just clicked inside me, like filling up a gap I didn’t know was there. I like that I don’t need to see a face; I can just be in the sensation. The only issue is my partner sometimes can’t stay in that position for too long, which interrupts the flow. What helps is resting on a pillow for support, because holding yourself up on all fours can get tiring. But once the rhythm is steady? It’s fire.
“Backshots had me levitating. I literally couldn’t think straight; it felt like I was being transported to another dimension. — Kemi*, 37, Hetero and a little fruity.
Backshots had me levitating. I literally couldn’t think straight; it felt like I was being transported to another dimension. The overstimulation was real, but in the best way possible. It was so overwhelming that I almost wanted to tap out, but then the wave of pleasure kept building until it just carried me. Honestly, I don’t have tips for this one. With the right partner, you don’t need anything else. Just bend and enjoy.
Expert Insight
Doggy and Collapsed Doggy allow for deep sensations that many describe as incredible, often stimulating the A-spot (anterior fornix erogenous zone). Receptive positions, such as Missionary or Doggy, allow women to focus on sensation and trust without having to think about technique. Doggy is easier with cushions. Comfort leads to better pleasure, so lean on props, furniture, or short breaks when needed. — Halima Mason: Sex and Relationship Therapist
With receptive positions, the appeal here for women is being able to trust their partner, relax and receive pleasure without the pressure of having to “do” anything. This can be deeply intimate. Trusting one’s pleasure to your partner can also be very arousing to feel completely desired and encourages bonding. This can be both intimidating and highly desired. It can be viewed as purely for procreation, but for others, the deep penetration can be a source of intense pleasure, particularly when they feel a strong sense of trust with their partner. — Olori Coitus: Sexual and Reproductive Health Educator
5. Collapsed Doggy
Start in doggy style, then lower your chest and stomach down flat against the bed, keeping your hips raised slightly. Your partner enters from behind, but because your body is pressed down, the angle is tighter and creates a snug, full feeling. It’s less physically demanding than regular doggy, and the “locked-in” angle allows for deep, continuous strokes without much movement from you.
“It’s the kind of position where you’re just lying there, taking it in, and letting the strokes wash over you.” — Zainab*, 21, Hetero.
Collapsed Doggy felt good in a way I didn’t expect. Once I relaxed and just let myself sink into the bed, it was like my body opened up in a new way. I could feel everything deeper and tighter, but it didn’t require much effort from me. The main thing was to just breathe in and out, not overthink it. It’s the kind of position where you’re just lying there, taking it in, and letting the strokes wash over you. Simple but surprisingly intense.
Expert Insight
Doggy variations work well for strap-ons, manual play, or oral, with Collapsed Doggy adding closeness. Collapsed Doggy is consistently a favourite, providing intensity with closeness. The bum also acts as a buffer for bigger penises or hard thrusts, and the receptive partner is able to grind in that position, too. What’s not to love? — Halima Mason: Sex Therapist
6. Speed Bump Position
Lie flat on your stomach with a pillow under your hips. Your partner enters with their fingers, strap or penis from behind while you stay mostly still. The pillow raises your pelvis just enough to tilt your vagina or opening upward, making penetration angle toward the G-spot. This position is all about leverage: the snugness from lying flat, plus the pillow lift, creates deep stimulation with minimal effort on your part.
“It’s not one of those positions that looks exciting from the outside, but the sensation inside? Mad.”— Maro*, 23, Hetero.
Speed Bump worked for me because it hit the right spot immediately. I was lying there, hips propped on the pillow, and it just angled everything perfectly. There were no drawbacks, no challenges, nothing complicated about it. I just had to relax, enjoy it, and explore what movements felt the best. It’s not one of those positions that looks exciting from the outside, but the sensation inside? Mad.
Expert Insight
For women with mobility issues, the speed bump position is great because it requires little movement from the woman. The lotus can also be adapted by leaning against a wall or headboard for support. — Olori Coitus: Sexual and Reproductive Health Educator
Speed Bump works best with one pillow rather than a stack to avoid strain. Lubrication and regular check-ins are always non-negotiable. — Halima Mason: Sex Therapist
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7. Sideways Scissors
Both of you lie on your sides, facing each other, but with your legs intertwined in a scissor-like shape. One thigh presses between the other’s, so clits rub directly against each other. The angle lets you grind slowly, apply pressure, and play with intensity while still holding, kissing, or touching. The alignment is what makes it sing — you’re face-to-face, locked into rhythm. “Sideways Scissors is ideal for clitoral-to-clitoral stimulation.”— Halima Mason.
For partners with a penis or a strap-on, one of your legs hooks over your partner’s hip while they enter from the side. It’s slower and more intimate than doggy or missionary, but still allows for deep penetration. The closeness makes it easy to kiss, hold each other, or grind together, while the angle gives a unique stretch and pressure inside.
“If there’s a drawback, it’s the awkward ten seconds of trying to get into the position.” — Bree*, 28, Lesbian.
Sideways Scissors felt like perfect alignment. Physically, our bodies just fit together, and emotionally, it was passion layered on passion. The pleasure kept building in this almost sneaky way, and because we were tossing each other around in the process, it felt playful and fiery at the same time. If there’s a drawback, it’s the awkward ten seconds of trying to get into the position. My spine was working overtime, but once it clicked? The movements were flowing, and my body was singing.
Expert Insight
Lotus & Scissors positions require a certain level of flexibility, so they should be tried slowly at first. As you become used to it, the pace can be increased. Having an active lifestyle (not necessarily being skinny or muscular) can help increase stamina, mobility and flexibility for some of these positions. When you can move your joints without pain or stiffness, you are less likely to pull a muscle or strain your back while experimenting. It gives you the freedom to adjust positions and angles as you like and discover more possibilities for pleasure. — Olori Coitus: Sexual and Reproductive Health Educator
Straddle Sex Position
Straddle positions are all about control, intimacy, and making pleasure a full-body experience. Whether you’re face-to-face, rocking slowly, or giving a lap-dance performance with your back turned, these moves put women in the driver’s seat, literally deciding the rhythm, the depth, and the drama.
8. Lotus
Your partner sits upright, cross-legged on the bed or floor. You climb into their lap, straddling them with your legs wrapped around their waist. From here, penetration is deep but slow, since movement mostly comes from rocking or grinding your hips together. The beauty of Lotus is intimacy: you’re face-to-face, eye contact strong, with arms wrapped around each other. It’s about rhythm, closeness, and building heat rather than quick strokes.
“The face-to-face contact made it so intimate, I could see his eyes, feel his breath, and kiss him while everything was happening.” — Karina*, 34, Bi.
Lotus felt like a slow burn. It wasn’t about fast strokes; it was about holding each other, rocking together, and letting the heat build. The face-to-face contact made it so intimate, I could see his eyes, feel his breath, and kiss him while everything was happening. It’s one of those positions where you don’t even realise how deep the penetration is until you’re lost in it. My legs got tired at some point, but the closeness made me forget. It felt like making love, not just having sex.
Expert Insight
Lotus deserves special mention because it brings intimacy and closeness while allowing grinding, eye contact, and full body connection. It is a favourite for face-to-face grinding and maintaining connections with same-sex partners. Lotus requires flexibility, so it helps to warm up first with hip circles or figure eights with your hips. This is why I often recommend hip-opening exercises in daily routines. Remember that sex should never be painful, and even small modifications can make a big difference.
Lotus should be about closeness rather than forcing uncomfortable leg positions. Warm up with some hip-opening stretches, deep squats, hip circles, or drawing figure eights with your hips to make it easier and more enjoyable. We often jump into sex, putting our bodies in positions they are not used to or have not been in for a long time. Just like exercise, it helps to warm up and stretch. — Halima Mason: Sex Therapist
For partners with larger body types: Positions like sideways scissors or spooning (a variation of doggy) can be more comfortable, as they reduce the pressure on joints. For all positions, always remember that adequate lubrication is important and to stop if there’s any discomfort. — Olori Coitus: Sexual and Reproductive Health Educator
9. Lap Dance
Your partner sits in a chair, the edge of the bed, or the sofa, feet planted on the ground. You straddle them, facing forward, and control the movement by grinding, rolling your hips, or lifting slightly to slide up and down. Think of it as a sexual dance; you’re in charge of pace and pressure. It’s less about deep thrusting and more about clitoral stimulation and intimate body-to-body grinding, though penetration can still be deep depending on how far you slide down.
“I can lean forward and grind slowly to get that clit pressure, or sit up straighter and roll my hips so she’s hitting deeper inside.” — Nengi*, 30, Lesbian.
This position makes me feel sexy and powerful. I’m sitting on top with my back to her, like I’m giving a real show, and grinding however I want. Because my back is facing her, it feels like the attention is all on my body, the curves, the movement. I can lean forward and grind slowly to get that clit pressure, or sit up straighter and roll my hips so she’s hitting deeper inside. It’s less about her thrusts and more about me controlling the tempo. It’s playful, it’s filthy, and honestly, it feels like you’re teasing and pleasing at the same time.
Before trying new positions, couples should discuss their expectations and boundaries. For the more adventurous positions, they should agree on a safe word or signal to stop if anyone feels uncomfortable.
Olori Coitus, Sex Educator
Pleasure thrives when there is comfort, trust, and communication. The most fulfilling position is always the one that feels right for your body and your relationship.
Halima Mason
Whether you’re arching your back for backshots, riding slow in cowgirl, or tangled up in scissors, the point isn’t to master every position; it’s to enjoy yourself. Try, tweak, abandon what doesn’t work, repeat what does. The best sex positions are the ones that leave you smiling (or breathless) afterwards.
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