Let’s talk about something many babes experience but hardly anyone wants to discuss at parties. Sex that hurts. Not the good kind of hurt that some women are into, but the “this is definitely not supposed to feel like this” kind of hurt. You know what we’re talking about. That moment when you’re trying to spice things up with a new position and suddenly your body is screaming louder than you are.
The truth is that nearly 75% of women report have had painful sex at some point. Yes, you read that right. If sex has ever hurt you, you’re definitely not alone, and you’re certainly not broken. The medical term for pain before, during or after sexual intercourse is dyspareunia, which sounds fancy but basically just means “ouch, that hurts a lot.”
Your body is basically a very complex machine, and like any machine, certain angles and movements work better than others. When sex hurts in certain positions, it’s usually because of how deeply your partner can penetrate, the angle of entry, or what body parts are being pressed against.
Think about it like this. Your vagina is only about 3 to 4 inches long when you’re not aroused, and while it can expand to about twice that size when you’re turned on, there’s still a limit. Pain during deep penetration, also known as collision dyspareunia, may feel worse in certain sexual positions.
So when your partner goes too deep in certain positions, they might be literally hitting your cervix or pushing against sensitive areas that were never meant to be pummeled like a punching bag.
The Worst Offenders: Positions That Can Cause Pain
Let’s get more specific about which positions are more likely to cause problems. According to research on intimate injuries, doggy style accounted for a significant percentage of painful experiences, along with the missionary position. But here’s where it gets interesting. What causes pain for one person might feel amazing for another.
Doggy style, for instance, allows for some of the deepest penetration possible. If you have conditions like endometriosis, this position typically involves deep penetration and is often too painful. The angle in this position means that your partner’s penis can reach all the way to your cervix and even beyond, which can feel like being poked by a stick. That’s not fun.
Then there’s reverse cowgirl, which, according to research, caused more than 1 in 5 sore penis experiences and a quarter of broken or fractured penises. Yes, you read that correctly. Penises can break. This position is dangerous for the person doing the penetrating because if someone moves at the wrong angle, their penis can bend in ways it absolutely should not bend.
But wait, there’s more! Even the classic missionary isn’t safe for everyone. Many people find the missionary position painful due to the penile angle. The pressure and angle can cause discomfort, especially if your partner is going too deep or too hard.
Why Does This Keep Happening?
There are actually tons of reasons why certain positions hurt more than others, and they’re not all about geometry. The causes usually reflect a mix of factors, such as hormone shifts, pelvic floor tension, stress, or past experiences.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as not being wet enough. Your body needs to be properly lubricated for sex to feel good, and if you’re not fully aroused or if your hormones are playing games with you (menopause and birth control pills), things can get dry and uncomfortable real quick. Not enough lubrication is often the result of not enough foreplay. The solution? More foreplay, more lube, or ideally, both.
Other times, there are medical conditions at play. Endometriosis can cause pain that is more intense in certain sexual positions than in others, depending on where exactly the endometriosis is located. This happens because the endometrial tissue growing outside the uterus can stick to the vagina or the rectum, making movement painful.
Conditions like pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, and irritable bowel syndrome can all make certain positions feel like torture. And sometimes, it’s about pelvic floor muscles that are too tight or muscles that spasm involuntarily, a condition called vaginismus.
The Science Behind Position Pain
Scientists actually did the work of figuring out which positions are best for different types of pain. Researchers at the University of Waterloo used motion capture technology (like in video games) to track how people’s spines move during sex. They discovered that spooning during sex can actually trigger more pain for people with certain kinds of lower back problems, which is wild because doctors used to recommend it for everyone with back pain.
The study published by the University of Waterloo was groundbreaking because it gave actual scientific evidence for which positions work better for different pain types. Turns out, your spine doesn’t lie, and certain positions put more strain on your back than others.
Positions That Might Actually Help
So what should you try instead? The good news is that there are positions designed to reduce pain, and they might even feel better overall.
If you’re dealing with deep penetration pain, try spooning or side-by-side positions. When you lie on your side, you change the angle of penetration, making it harder for your partner to deeply penetrate you. Your butt basically acts as a natural buffer, which is honestly one of the best uses for a booty.
For people with conditions like endometriosis, being on top puts you in control of the depth of penetration and speed of sex. This is huge because you can adjust immediately if something doesn’t feel right, and you’re not at the mercy of your partner’s enthusiasm. Plus, according to experts at the Cleveland Clinic, you can modify missionary by elevating your hips with a pillow to change the angle.
The cowgirl position is another winner. Experts say it’s best for the woman to go on top as she will have control over how deep the penetration will go. You’re literally in the driver’s seat, which means you can slow down, speed up, or change direction whenever you need to.
When to See a Doctor
Experimenting with positions is great, but if sex consistently hurts no matter what position you try, it’s time to talk to a healthcare provider. Dyspareunia isn’t just part of life or a part of getting older. According to the Cleveland Clinic, you should contact your healthcare provider if you have new or worsening pain during sex, genital lesions, irregular periods, or abnormal discharge.
The thing is, painful sex can be treated. Whether it’s medication, pelvic floor therapy, using better lubrication, or addressing underlying conditions like infections or hormonal issues, there are solutions. Don’t just suffer in silence because you think this is just how it is. It’s not.
Next Read: Dieko Ojo, Oreoluwa Atinmo & Ore Bukola Share 6 Ways To Get Promoted In 2026
