Every week, Zikoko spotlights the unfiltered stories of women navigating life, love, identity and everything in between.
What She Said will give women the mic to speak freely, honestly and openly, without shame about sex, politics, family, survival, and everything else life throws our way.
September is PCOS Awareness Month, and in honour of that, this week’s WSS features a woman in her early thirties sharing how she’s learned to live with PCOS(Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). From the changes in her body to the shifts in her emotions, she opens up about why she now calls it a gift.
When did you find out you had PCOS?
It was in my mid-twenties. Before then, I just thought my body was somehow different. My periods were irregular, sometimes disappearing for months, but I didn’t pay too much attention. I just assumed that’s how my body worked. It was only after I went for a check-up when I was around 26 that a doctor mentioned PCOS.
At first, it sounded like one of those heavy medical conditions that would turn your life upside down. I remember wondering how I never knew until then and feeling scared, because all I was hearing were the negative sides—infertility, weight gain, hormonal problems. But as time went on, and I started learning how it actually showed up in my own life, the fear began to fade.
How has it affected your periods?
Honestly, I don’t see it as a bad thing. I can miss my period back-to-back for months, and I’m not complaining. When it finally comes, most times it’s just light spotting. No cramps, no blood rushing like a river. I don’t get those heavy, draining cycles that keep some people stuck in bed for days. I actually love that about my body.
Do you ever have heavy bleeding?
Yes, once in a while. Maybe once every five to six months, I’ll have a really heavy period where I need to double my pads. I can also be in so much pain that it is physically impossible to move. It’s messy and uncomfortable, but because it happens so rarely, it doesn’t overwhelm me. I’ve figured out how to manage those moments, so they don’t run my life.
How does all of that shape how you feel about your body?
It makes me grateful, honestly. Another thing is I’m queer, and I don’t sleep with men, so pregnancy scares are not part of my reality. That alone gives me a kind of freedom. For me, missing my period or spotting here and there is just another reminder that my body works differently, and I’ve made peace with that.
What about the other symptoms—things outside your cycle?
The hair growth is the most obvious one. It can be annoying, especially on days when I just want smooth skin. But over time, I’ve learned to stop fighting it. Some women shave or wax constantly, and that’s fine, but I don’t want to be at war with my body all the time. Now, I just keep it moving.
The darkening of my skin in some areas is another thing. Like under my arms, around my neck and my inner thighs. It’s not my favourite, and if I could change it, I would. Still, I’ve learned not to let it take over how I see myself. But realistically, I have better days and sometimes, days when my self-esteem is in the gutter.
And then there’s the weight. With PCOS, if I’m not careful, I gain weight very quickly. At first, I used to stress about it, but now I’ve turned it into motivation. I’m a gym baddie. I’m always working out. For me, fitness isn’t just about keeping my weight in check but about feeling strong, staying disciplined, and having something in my routine that grounds me.
Would you say you’ve come to accept those changes fully?
Not fully, no. I won’t lie, I don’t love the dark patches or the hairiness. Instead of always fighting them, I try to see them as part of me. I’ve learned to focus more on the things I can control, like staying active, eating well, and being consistent with my skincare, than stress endlessly about what I can’t change.
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How does PCOS affect you emotionally?
That’s probably the hardest part. The mood swings, the sudden low days, and sometimes even anxiety. It gets overwhelming. It’s easy to look fine on the outside while your mind is spinning inside. For me, managing the physical symptoms is easier than handling the emotional ones.
What helps is noticing the signs early. When I’m getting unusually irritable or feel my energy dipping, I give myself space. I don’t force productivity; I just rest. I use an app, “How We Feel,” that has also helped me put language into my feelings. It doesn’t make it vanish, but it makes me feel less powerless.
What about your skin? Do you get acne too?
Yes, I do. PCOS acne can be really stubborn. What works for me is keeping my skincare routine simple. I wash my face gently twice daily. Nothing too harsh or drying. I use products with salicylic acid, which has really made a difference, and I completely avoid scrubbing or popping pimples. That only makes it worse.
It took a lot of trial and error to figure this out. I tried so many products at once, and my skin would get angrier. Now I know that patience is the only way. It’s not perfect, but my skin is much more manageable.
Outside your face, how do you care for your body?
I love using body powder. It keeps me dry and fresh, especially in this heat. One I really like is Beauty 360 Absorbent Body Powder. It’s affordable, has a light scent, and doesn’t irritate my skin. It’s not a big luxury item, but those small things make me feel good in my body and keep me confident day-to-day.
Fertility is often a big concern for women with PCOS. What do you think about it?
I haven’t really tried to have kids, and I’m not even sure I want them. So infertility hasn’t been part of my story. But I always stress this: just because I don’t struggle with it doesn’t mean it isn’t real. For many women, PCOS and infertility are a huge, painful challenge. It should never be dismissed or ignored because some of us have different experiences.
I think one of the mistakes people make is talking about PCOS like it’s the same for everyone. It’s not. My story is valid, but so is the woman who desperately wants children and finds herself battling with her body every month. Both experiences deserve space.
At this point in your life, what does PCOS mean to you?
I see it as a gift. Of course, it comes with challenges, but I’ve found a way to live with them. I enjoy the freedom of missing my period for months. I love that I don’t have to worry about pregnancy scares, and even my commitment to fitness came out of it.
PCOS has shaped me in ways I didn’t expect. It’s taught me patience with my skin, discipline with my body, and grace for my emotions. It’s forced me to accept the parts of myself that I can’t control and work harder on the parts I can.
For me, it’s not just a condition to be “managed.” It’s part of who I am, and I choose to see it as something that adds to my life, not something that takes away from it.
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