We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.
From: The woman who can’t believe she found love
To: Ayo, her lover
I’m writing this letter because beyond being my lover for the last nine months, you’ve also been my friend. So many times, you look over and catch me staring at you in disbelief. I still can’t believe my luck. Well, our luck, because I’m such a catch too. Ayo, I hope you read this feeling as lucky as I do sharing our connection.
It’s been nearly nine months since I dragged myself out to meet you for drinks. The full moon was in Scorpio. That meant something to me because Twitter astrologists talk about the potency of the moon to attract lovers. I don’t necessarily believe in these things, but I didn’t want to cancel our date for the third time. I didn’t want my anxiety to get in the way again. And I’m glad I didn’t miss out on finding my best friend.
People talk about falling in love the moment they see, but I fell in love with your voice, Ayo. The way we talked at the restaurant made me feel safe. Magic was born from hearing you speak. Your voice was warm and sweet. We very quickly became such good friends, I could have sworn I’d known you for years.
Being around you made me feel safe. You met me at a time when my polysexual ass was being kicked in my different relationships. But you stuck around and made me feel so loved. I couldn’t imagine not being more than friends with you, Ayo.
I’ve never spoken to anyone as softly as I have about you. My friends say that when I first met you, I spoke about you like air. I would rant about all my problems and end them with, “then Ayo showed up…” They could hear the peace in my voice every time. It was like I’d been holding my breath, but every time you show up, I can finally take a deep breath. I’ve never told you this, but you got me through the depression I was fighting inside. You saved me in so many ways.
We both tend to rush into things, wanting to hold back from complicating them, but Ayo, it’s been nine months, and I’ve felt at peace with my decisions because you make me feel so loved. I remember the days leading up to the first time we both said “I love you” aloud. It was perfect because we spent weeks trying not to move too fast.
My favourite part about living with you is our routines. They keep me sane because. I can’t remember what life was like before watching you cook for us after work, or planning cute dates together. I don’t know what it felt like listening to music without you or watching you wiggle every time we sit on the couch to eat. Those are the moments when I feel most alive.
Most of all, I love how you depend on me. The way you rush in for a hug whenever I’m home. You talk about your day like you’ve been waiting for the one person who truly cares about you, and it makes me feel like the most important person in the world. Ayo, I could go on and on about how my polysexual ass loves doing life with only you, but the hundred “I love yous” we share daily say it all.
My final words to you are a rendition of the love Shakespeare’s Romeo meant for Juliet: All the things I love about you, Ayo — the sweet words that I have the privilege to share with you — hopefully, it’s until my last breath.
Thank you for all the love you’ve brought into my life.