Navigating male-dominated workspaces can feel like playing a video game on expert mode when everyone else is on tutorial. Thriving isn’t just about survival. It’s about fully showing up, setting boundaries like the professional that you are and refusing to shrink yourself to fit in boxes that were never designed for you.
We sat down with Ayomide Oso, co-founder of Dojah, and Chikodili Udeh, a cybersecurity consultant, for a Twitter space that had us taking notes like our careers depended on it. Here’s what they shared:
1. Redefine What “Thriving” Actually Means
Forget the corporate jargon. According to Chikodili, thriving is really about freedom. The freedom to bring your perspective, values, and voices into a space without apologising for it. “When I’m confident enough to bring myself into a space, I find that I’m able to really create impact”, she says.
Visibility and influence are byproducts of showing up authentically. So yes, be the woman with the views. Be the one who clocks nonsense immediately and gives her two cents. That’s not being extra, it’s having a backbone.
2. Set Boundaries Like Your Peace Depends On It (Because It Does)
Ayomide really set the record straight when she said, “We’re not here to be liked at all costs. I’m more focused on being respected and being understood”. Stop worrying about being labelled “difficult” and start being clear about why you need certain boundaries. If you need meeting agendas sent hours in advance, say it. Someone keeps scheduling calls without context? Cancel it and have an uncomfortable conversation. Yes, it will feel awkward, but people will adjust. “When you’re firm and consistent with your boundaries, the labels start to shift,” Ayomide adds.
3. Clock BS and Shut It Down, Cleanly and Firmly
Both speakers shared infuriating stories of being undermined. Chikodili’s response? She ensured she corrected the error that had been made regarding her identity calmly, did her job flawlessly, and still addressed his bias afterwards. “The minute you clock BS, shut it down. Be firm and demonstrate your competence,” she advises.
Ayomide had a similar experience, but instead of reacting as would have been expected, she stayed focused on the business conversation, then watched him squirm when she engaged him in the same manner. Don’t get overly emotional (even though you have every right to be angry). Handle it with firmness so you’re not the one who ends up looking guilty.
4. Choose Your Workplace Like You’re Vetting a Partner
Do your research before accepting that job offer. Chikodili suggests checking Reddit, talking to current and former employees, and asking pointed questions during interviews about company culture. “We tend to believe that money is everything, which it’s not,” she warns. A toxic environment will batter your self-confidence so badly that it affects the rest of your life. Choose a place that lets you flourish, especially when you’re starting out.
5. Find Mentors Who Celebrate Your Growth, Not Control It
Don’t just slide into someone’s DMs asking them to be your mentor. Instead, engage with their content, share insights and build an actual relationship first. Once you connect, pay attention to how they make you feel. Do they celebrate your wins? Do you feel empowered or used and manipulated? That’s your cue.
Thriving in male-dominated spaces isn’t about fitting in. It’s about showing up, setting boundaries, and refusing to let anyone dim your light.
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