The holidays mean different things to different people. For some, it’s about family, festive activities or food, and for others, it means stress, irritation, or reflection.
Childhood memories, family dynamics, and personal concerns tend to determine how they experience the season.
In this article, five Nigerian women expressed what the holiday means to them, offering us a glimpse into the frustrations and joys that shape the season for them.
1. “The holidays have now become a reminder of my autonomy” — Rereoluwa*, 25
Growing up, Christmas was mostly centred on family. My mother birthed only girls, so the holidays meant no one escaped the kitchen. We usually had family over, and that meant we cooked in large quantities. Christmas, however, was a different ballgame. Visitors were guaranteed, so the food we had to prepare was always excessive.
Before I turned 13 or 14, my sisters and I didn’t participate in the heavy lifting because our mum and our nannies would handle the bulk of it, but that changed when I became a teenager. The responsibility fell on me, and that was because my dad expected it of me. I had to cook massive pots of different meals. It was an overwhelming amount of work, and I never looked forward to that part of the holidays.
Even with that, Christmas always incited excitement in me. To me, it meant new clothes, new shoes, and fresh hair. You didn’t have to go to school, so all your energy went into looking good and being excited. It just sucked that I had to spend half of the day in the kitchen.
Now, as an adult living on my own, I don’t go home as often. The holidays have become both a reminder of my childhood (the lighter, happier memories) and a reminder of my autonomy. I am at a place in my life where I can say yes or no, and since I would rather buy food than cook, I have the free time for games, rest, and actually spending time with my loved ones. On Christmas Eve, my sisters, partners, and I stay up so we can have a countdown, and afterwards, we go outside to light sparklers, scream, and make videos. Sometimes, we even play games before going to bed.
Christmas also means reflecting on the year. I think about what I achieved, what I didn’t, and what lessons I can carry forward. I ensure to do this before the new year begins because once January starts, it turns into resolutions I’m less likely to keep.
2. “It means prioritising my mental, emotional, and physical health” — Layla*, 25
For me, the holidays are about sharing time with family, friends, and myself. I’d usually go home to see my mum, and also spend time with the family members who come to visit her.
We don’t necessarily do anything festive. We mostly eat together, go out a little, and relax at home. With my family, it’s really about the company and the simple joy of being together.
With my friends and my partner, we tend to do something particularly festive. For example, we participate in the “12 Days to Christmas” event, where we plan something special each day leading up to Christmas. It could be small outings, fun activities, or meaningful gestures, such as sharing letters or lists of nice things. It’s not only joyful, but it’s also interactive and emotionally fulfilling.
For myself, the holidays mean prioritising my mental, physical, and emotional health. I make space to rest, eat what I enjoy, go where I want, and celebrate myself during the season.
3. “It just means kitchen, kitchen, and kitchen” — Deborah*, 23
Right from the moment everyone deemed me old enough to participate in the kitchen, I began to resent the holidays. When I was a child, it meant wearing the prettiest dresses and getting into all sorts of trouble with my friends and cousins, but as I grew older, it became another thing entirely. When I turned 16, the holidays no longer became fun for me. They just became a cooking show that does not benefit you in any way.
For the holidays, we tend to have family and friends over at the house, and that automatically means the women in the house have to cook a lot of food and wash a lot of plates after. It is extremely frustrating, especially when you realise that the men in the house are allowed to do anything. They can watch football and cause a whole lot of ruckus while eating the food that we spent hours preparing, but we don’t have that freedom. For us, it just means kitchen, kitchen, and kitchen. On Christmas Eve, everyone else will be sleeping, and we will be prepping the food for the next day. Christmas day comes, and you would think you would get a moment of rest, but no. You are in the kitchen watching the fun you can’t participate in, and honestly, it’s not hard to grow resentful of that.
You’ll Like: 9 Nigerian Women Share Why They Hate Christmas
4. “I only feel irritation when I come across Christmas decorations” — Mayowa*, 21
There was a time the holidays meant something to me. As a young child, I looked forward to December because it meant lighting up the Christmas tree and putting up decorations with my family, but when I turned 8, the tree broke while we were trying to move it from the store to the living room, and that was the end. My parents felt it was pointless to get a new tree, and from then on, my excitement about the holidays completely vanished.
Around 10 years ago, I became one of those people who get depressed around this time of the year. So, to put it simply, I don’t have any positive feelings about the holidays. I see other people getting excited about it, and as much as I wish I could share in that feeling, the season, unfortunately, does not mean anything to me anymore. The depression isn’t as constant as it once was, but because of my memories attached to the holidays, I only tend to feel irritation whenever I come across Christmas decorations.
5. “Being in the village felt like being wrapped in warmth” — Amanda*, 22
Right from the day I knew how to pronounce my name properly, the holidays have always meant quality time with my family in the village. Aside from sneaky solo trips to the streams and spring holes deep in the forest, I didn’t go out much, so most of my fondest memories from the holidays are centred on watching whatever show was available with my cousins. The holidays are deeply special to me. Even when the japa wave and a growing disinterest in the season meant fewer family members came home, being in the village still felt like being wrapped in warmth. It got lonely without most of them, yes, but I always love being at home in the village during the holidays.
Currently, I don’t know what this holiday will feel like. It will be the first without my dad, and that’s a weird feeling, especially because so many of my holiday memories include how eager he always was to return to the village. He loved it there, just as I do, and I hope the weird feeling does not grow stronger when I go there this year. I hope I get to still wander around the spring hole and the streams.
Next Read: 11 Nollywood Actresses Who Dominated Our Screens in 2025
