When Omolola* (46) was 23 and pregnant with her first child, she had no idea how much her life was about to change, especially after her sister-in-law, Arike*, found out. 

This is Omolola’s story as told to Sofiyah. 

This is Omolola’s story as told to Sofiyah. 

My sister-in-law, Arike, was dealt a bad hand early in life. She grew up in a polygamous home with ten siblings, a deadbeat father, and a mother who tried her best to ensure her children would grow up and make something of themselves.

Due to certain circumstances, Arike’s life derailed, and she had to rely on her younger siblings for financial assistance. Because of this, she became slightly possessive of them, so when the breadwinner, her youngest brother, announced that he was going to marry his pregnant girlfriend (me), she did not take it well. 

Before my pregnancy, Arike had regarded me with indifference. Although her brother and I had been dating for four years before the pregnancy, her actions made it clear that she thought I was just going to be a girlfriend and nothing more. When the news of my pregnancy reached her, it became a problem, and that indifference instantly turned into hatred. 

While we were planning the wedding, Arike approached me multiple times and ordered me to abort the pregnancy. I try to block her out of my mind, but I have a very clear memory of her calling me selfish for trying to baby-trap their family’s primary cash cow. Every time she approached me to ask me to abort the pregnancy, I would mention it to my mother, and she would assure me that Arike was just threatened, and I shouldn’t pay much attention to her. 

My mother and I underestimated her. After my court and traditional weddings were over, Arike proceeded to make my life hell. At least three times a week, she would come over when my husband was not around and spend the entire time saying awful things about me to my next-door neighbour, her childhood friend, fully aware that I could hear her clearly. I was 23 when I married my husband, and although I don’t take any nonsense now, I was a very different person back then. 

At 23, I was a sheltered girl who cried at everything, and Arike derived joy from bringing me to tears. She called me a useless, spoiled girl to anyone who could hear, mocked every meal I made, and spent every family gathering nitpicking my actions in front of the rest of my husband’s family. She knew my husband would never call her out on it because our culture dictates that you should always be respectful to people older than you, and she was five years older.  

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Thanks to Arike, I didn’t have a moment of peace during my first pregnancy. I cried a lot, and I would have probably left my husband for my peace of mind, but my mother wouldn’t hear any of that. Eight months into my pregnancy, Arike realised that despite the bullying, I was yet to pack my load, and so, she decided to move to a spiritual path of some sort. The younger children these days would probably just call it juju, and yes, that was what she did. 

When the bleeding started, I was at my parents’ place because my husband had gone on a business trip, and at first, I thought that the stress of the past months had finally caught up to the baby, but my mother didn’t think so. You see, my mother believes in the existence of the supernatural, so there are times when she doesn’t believe things just happen for no reason. When blood started running down my thighs, the first thing she did was rush out of the house to call her neighbour, a cele pastor. 

The pastor arrived, tied some sort of string around my belly that miraculously stopped the bleeding, and asked my mum to get me admitted, and not tell any living soul, not even my husband, the hospital she was taking me to. When he was asked the reason behind this, he predicted that the person behind the bleeding would come to the hospital, and she must ensure they never lay an eye on me throughout the night or else I was going to lose the baby. 

Now, it might seem unbelievable, and I understand, because I was also in shock at the time. I was trying to convince myself that it was just stress and my mother was overreacting until the pastor tied that string. Then, I got admitted to a hospital, somehow slept throughout the night, and woke up to my mother telling me Arike spent the entire night with her at the reception. It was only my mum and I who knew the location of the hospital, and I can’t lie, knowing that Arike came when the pastor said someone would come, honestly shook me to my core. 

My mother is truly the superhero in this story because she was the one who sat beside Arike throughout the night and refused to let her see me. This happened over two decades ago, but there are days I still wonder what would have happened if she’d somehow found a way to my ward. Would I have gotten the chance to hold my son?

Even after the successful birth of my son, Arike did not stop the bullying. In fact, she extended it to my children, and seeing them hide away in their rooms every time she was around solidified my decision to distance them from her and, by extension, my husband’s family. No one in my husband’s family protected me from Arike, so I don’t think any of them deserve access to my children. My husband understood that and respected my decision. Even if he didn’t, I would have still gone ahead with it anyway. 

Knowing that there are people in this world who would actually go to such great lengths to do something bad to you altered my way of thinking in a not-so-good way. Yes, I am very glad that my mother opened my eyes about this kind of stuff, but at the same time, it has made me so paranoid of people, because what do you mean you hate me enough to want my unborn child to die? 

Arike is no longer a part of my life, but she has left a permanent mark. It’s because of her that I have a very hard time trusting new people around my children or me. I know my children probably roll their eyes a lot any time I talk about not trusting anyone whose behaviour seems slightly off, but they were not there when their aunt almost pushed me to madness simply because I refused to abort my pregnancy.

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