Nearly every woman has experienced a period and the many discomforts that come with it. Conversations often centre on cramps, fatigue and mood swings, but there’s a lesser-known experience that many women quietly navigate, post-menstrual depression. In this story, five women share what PMD feels like for them and the different ways they cope.
‘Sex helps me manage my post-menstrual depression’- Deborah*, 24
I get post-menstrual depression after every period. That’s twelve times in a year. The severity is constant, and it affects me the same way each time. My productivity drops significantly; it affects work and every other part of my life. I’m not naturally high-energy socially, so I detach from everyone. My output slows down, I’m tired all the time, and my eating becomes erratic. I’m either overeating or barely eating; there’s never a balance. Managing it takes a lot of mental effort. I constantly remind myself that the feeling is temporary, and I try to keep my emotions in check. Sex also helps, and I’m happy about that.
‘The more painful my periods are, the more depressed I get’- Temitope*, 23
My post-menstrual depression doesn’t happen every time, but it is pretty often. I sometimes feel the symptoms a week before my period, during it and afterwards. I think the severity of my period pain impacts how much I feel it. Then I’m constantly shuffling between being lightheaded and having really bad headaches. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it, actually. Not a health professional, not even friends. I don’t even talk about how painful cramps are. Women are expected to deal with the pain, so that’s what I do. Nobody is really going to do or say anything different from that.
‘I have anti-depressants that I take when the symptoms start creeping in’- Halima*, 24
I don’t have post-menstrual depression often, but when I do, it usually kicks my ass. The emotional effects are a lot. I get extremely moody and sad. Then there’s this overwhelming feeling that I’m not enough every time. I’m not entirely sure how it affects other areas of my life because, to the best of my knowledge, I just try to keep things moving. As for managing it, I’ve tried getting professional help. I also have PCOS and endometriosis, which I think made doctors take me more seriously. Thankfully, I have anti-depressants I take when the symptoms start creeping in, but even the quality of my life still feels subpar in those moments.
‘I isolate myself a lot during this period’- Efemena*, 30
My periods aren’t regular because of PCOS. When they come, I’m excited at first because they’re so infrequent, and everything just crashes down. I start getting tired of the fact that I’m bleeding from my vagina, and my mood towards everyone and everything just becomes foul. I isolate myself a lot during this period, and then my eating habits also get chaotic. From the moment my period starts, I isolate myself. I also get horny, so I masturbate a lot. I’ve only had period sex a few times, but I don’t think I like it. It makes me feel like I’m staining my partner. When I touch myself, I know it’s just me doing myself. Then my energy is also really low. But even then, my energy is so low that sometimes I don’t finish. I just leave my hand in my vagina. Other times, I finish, and I’m too lazy to move.
‘Sometimes I cook my favourite comfort meal ’- Itoro*, 32
Post-menstrual cramps don’t happen often for me, but when they hit, I expect my productivity levels to be super low. Sometimes it comes with a lot of fatigue and serious procrastination. It’s not something I like to attach a lot of importance to. Once I feel it creeping in, I prepare myself for the duration I think it’ll last. My hot water bottle is usually out next to me, and I’m covered up in bed watching a movie. Sometimes I cook my favourite comfort meal.
