Phrases like ‘women belong in the kitchen’, ‘Men don’t cry’ and ‘A man is the head of the household’ are examples of the many gender stereotypes we hear every day. They seem like harmless little phrases said by faceless people on the internet, but do these takes on gender equality, roles, and equity actually have any impact on women in the real world?

In the last episode of Nigerians Talk, four guests debate whether gender norms are limiting Nigerian women financially.

Gender Equity is Why Gender Norms Exist – Levi

We hear this phrase thrown around on internet spaces a lot and often to justify keeping women out of the workplace and in the kitchen. But what does the phrase really mean? Gender norms tell you that women should only focus on running the home instead of actively building careers, and gender equity tells you that women are not built the same way men are.

According to Levi, gender equity means that biologically, women are meant to run the home and support the men. In return, the man’s place is to lead the household, enter the workplace and provide economic support.

Things like watching football and workplace competition are masculine things that women should not be exposed to.  He believes Jesus wasn’t a woman because a woman would have been unable to carry the biblical cross. To him, the idea behind gender equity justifies gender norms.

When You Put Anything/Anyone in a Box, You Limit Them – Osas

Right from birth, girls are forced by societal expectations to learn how to be a nurturer because that’s what they’ve been taught to believe they must be. Older women often advise younger women to rush through anything they dream of accomplishing right before they get married because when they do, the chances they’ll get to those things are slim. In many cases, marriage has served as a graveyard where the dreams of women go to die.                                                                              

Every Gender Stereotype Started from a Harmless Phrase – Adebola

A boy who was told that men are meant to be aggressive while growing up will teach his male children to be aggressive and try to force his daughters to become what he thinks a woman should be.

When society teaches gender norms to young children, they grow up believing that the world should operate in the way that they’ve been taught. These adults grow up to become people’s dismissive bosses, fathers who try to teach their children how to be girls, and teachers who don’t believe in their female students. What starts as a harmless phrase then becomes sexism and gender discrimination against women.

Gender Norms Find Their Way into Your Mind and Then into How You Treat Others – Nosa

Gender norms may seem like harmless things, but they affect society in big ways. For instance, married men are seen as trustworthy in the labour market, while married women are seen as people who are too busy running a household to be reliable at work. When people see a woman who can afford to buy luxurious things, they assume she is being bankrolled by a man. Women aren’t very transparent about their successes because society tells them that they should cover their achievements.  

50/50 Does Not Factor in Unpaid Care Work- Osas

The hazard that comes with carrying a baby is that a woman’s life is at risk from all the things that could go wrong. After the baby is born, a woman is then naturally expected to take on cooking, cleaning, and running the household in addition to childcare. 

Any man insisting on 50/50 while judging only the financial aspects of the relationship is intentionally ignoring all the services the woman provides for the household. Society expects the modern woman to be hardworking, contribute to half of the household expenses, perform her assigned gender roles, and take full responsibility for the household. Even when a man is heavily financially contributing, the woman still ends up carrying more. The scale is still not balanced.


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