7 Things Men Should Do After They Send Women Selfies

January 15, 2021

Dear men, you never know what to do after you send a woman pictures? Well, we are here to help.

1) Send us money

Looking at your beautiful pictures has caused us eye pains because your beauty is blinding. You have to pay for eye treatments.

2) Buy us a new wig

Your beauty just snatched our wig. It will seem you have to replace it.

2+2 = 4

3) Clear our shopping cart

Seeing your beautiful face has reminder us of how there is an emptiness in our life that can only be filled with material possessions.

We point, you pay. It is the only way.

4) Buy us a house

Because those pictures need to be framed, we need a house. Your pictures cannot just waste in a rented apartment.

5) Book us a spa day

Your pictures got us so tensed up, we need a professional to help us destress. We advise that you book the spa day before you even send the pictures, so that by the time you send it, the appointment is already fixed.

6) A vacation

An all expense paid trip to any location of our choice. We need to relax, preferably somewhere with a beach because ocean water helps to revive people that feel faint.

how she felt when she saw your pictures

7) Take us on a date

The beauty needs to be appreciated in person, and that can only happen when you take us on a date.

For more women’s stories, click here


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Itohan Esekheigbe

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 27, 2020

The cramps, nausea, and insane cravings are not the only things Nigerian women have to deal with during their period. 7 Nigerian women had a quick chat with me about their most cringe-worthy period experience. Jennifer  My experience was really awful. I had an ex-boyfriend who would complain and call me lazy for having cramps […]

4 Women Talk About Mansplaining
February 26, 2021

You know how you can be talking about something and a man from nowhere will insert himself in the conversation and give you an opinion no one asked for? That is mansplaining. Simply put, it’s when men talk over you in a condescending and often inaccurate manner plus it’s almost always something you already know. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 15, 2021

At the end of the day, what is your soul really worth? A plate of food like Esau? Or you have nothing left of your soul for sale? Don’t take this quiz if you don’t like to be exposed sha, because we will find out. QUIZ: How Much Is Your Soul Worth?

May 15, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old gay man who recently discovered he is a side — a gay man who isn’t interested in penetrative sex. He talks about how this affects […]

May 14, 2021

Bolanle Austen-Peters Production, in collaboration with the MTN Foundation, is bringing the story and characters of Wole Soyinka’s Death and the King’s Horseman to the Terra Kulture stage on May 13 to 16 in eight performances. The story, which is inspired by true events, is about a king’s horseman who is prevented from committing ritual […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

More from Her

The Worst Thing A Friend Has Done
May 14, 2021

Friendships can be tricky. Sometimes, friends hurt each other and it’s hard to get past that. In this article, we asked seven Nigerian women to share the worst thing a friend has done to them.  Ibinabo, 24 I had this roommate when I was doing my diploma in Ibadan. I was a new student but […]

May 12, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 50-year-old woman who dated her ex-husband for 12 years and was married to him for 14 years. She talks about leaving him after years of being manipulated, the joy that comes from being a single woman again and life as a divorced Christian woman.

Women Who Love Sports
May 11, 2021

For misogynist reasons, women who love sports are always asked one question or the other when they tell people they love sports. Here are seven of the things women hate they hate the most. 1. ‘Do you understand the rules?’ If you don’t geddifok, of course, they understand the rules. Do YOU understand the rules?  […]

May 7, 2021

As a woman with big feet, there are various struggles you would encounter on a daily basis, and some specially when you want to buy new shoes. Here are five things women with big feet can relate to. 1) Shoe sizes are so hard to find Most shoe sizes for women are very limited. If […]

queer
May 7, 2021

As told to Mariam I put a call out for women to tell me the things that affect their mental health most. In Ada’s* message, she said her parents found out she is queer. I was curious about how that played out and I asked more questions. Here’s what she told me: I am the […]

May 6, 2021

Purity culture is usually a combination of religious and cultural beliefs that promote abstinence from sexual activities till marriage. These six Nigerian women share with us how they overcame purity culture. Yinka, 23 A lot of the guilt and shame I felt around sex and decency came from following Christianity. I was taught that I […]

Hedge Witch
May 5, 2021

As told to Mariam I have known Wendy for about three years and during this time, I have watched her go from being irreligious to religious and back to being irreligious. As an irreligious person myself, I was curious about her journey so sometime in March I asked her. Here’s what she told me:   I […]

May 5, 2021

The subject of today’s What She Said is a 34-year-old Nigerian woman who grew up getting everything she asked for. She talks about constantly pursuing enjoyment, and how that led to her leaving her cheating husband and raising her two children independently.  What was it like growing up?  I had a pretty happy childhood. I […]

May 4, 2021

The culture of invalidating women and shutting down their experiences because people are uncomfortable with the conversation needs to die. The idea of tagging women-centred conversations as an agenda is a shallow and unfair attempt at creating a distraction. To counter this, we have compiled a list of things Nigerian women do not need a […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X