From her date trying to steal laptop to another being sexually harassed, here are six women with their worst date experiences.
It was with Dayo in Enugu, 2008 or 2009. We decided to split a cab, spring rolls, and Smirnoff ice because, feminist. He “forgot” his wallet, so he promised to transfer me his half. He then tried to steal my acer laptop in the most James Bond move ever seen, and still has the audacity to owe me his half.
I had been chatting with this guy online for a while, and he kept saying “let’s meet up” and “let’s hangout”. After all the pestering, we agreed to see a movie. He said he was going to foot the bill and when I asked for a budget, he kept telling me not to worry. The meetup day came and at leisure mall then, movies were 600 naira in the afternoon. He paid for tickets and we waited for it to start. Movie was about to start and he didn’t get snacks. When I asked why, he said it was because he did not have money. I decided to let it slide but was angry he did not tell me. We got into the screen room only for this boy to start groping me in the middle of the movie. I stood up and sat far away from him.
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He asked if he could host my friend and I for dinner. I agreed, and he told me to send all our preferences from wine to food. At 7pm on a Saturday he sent the Zambian version of Uber, to pick us up. I didn’t know it was an Uber, I thought it was his regular driver. When he stopped, it was at the mall. He said that was where the man asked that he drop them.
I had never been to his place before, and I was 100% sure he didn’t live at the mall. I tried calling him, but his phone was off, so I thought to check the shops but he wasn’t there. We waited for like 20 minutes, and at this point I realised maybe this man tried to get back at me for being difficult. The driver then tells me it’s an Uber, so I paid because he did not.
By the time I got home, I was fuming. Thirty minutes later, I got a call from the driver asking me to unblock that man. I do it, and he calls and starts yelling at me. He said his phone died and he had to rush home to charge it. He also demanded that I call the driver and get over to his place. I told him he was mad and I wouldn’t. To make it worse, he couldn’t even apologise. After I hung up, he called back to give me a detailed lecture on how he is an important lawyer, who had done so many pro bono cases and that he is for the movement (Feminism) and I should understand what a catch he is.
It’s been over 4 years and I still can’t forget it. A mutual friend introduced us and gave him my number. He called me the first time, and we ended the call with closing prayers. I’m a Christian, but I knew something was off. The next day, he called to say hello and asked what my full name was because he wanted to look for me on Facebook, I told him and didn’t think much of it. After about a week, we planned to see and we went to Yellow Chilli for dinner. I’ll not even get into the heavy H-factor or Mouth odor, I knew I had to brave the evening. He asked what my goals were, and I told him I had just finished my MBA then, had applied for a job at Uber, done interviews, and was getting ready for the beginning of a career.
He suddenly told me to forget all of it, that he asked for my full name because he wanted his pastor to see if we were compatible and to check our future. Apparently, when I agree to marry him, he will open a small “provisions” shop for me somewhere in Ikeja where I can be selling milo and anything I want. The seafood okra I was eating suddenly tasted like sand, and I started searching for the nearest exit. I cut short the evening and he dropped me at home. He pressed on for a long while afterwards, but I made sure I avoided him.
It happened when I was 20, when one of my older friends kept begging that one of her boss saw my picture and he’s been on her neck since then. She basically pressured me into going on a date this person, and told me it was a one time thing. Anyway, the day came. I dressed up and got in my Uber, but I was stuck in traffic for 2 hours while it rained. Maybe that should have been my cue to turn back, but I went regardless. The setting was one of those restaurants with apartments. We settled in at the restaurant, ate, then he was like we should and talk better in the room. We got to the room and he was getting touchy. When I confronted him, he kept pushing. Anyways, when I started screaming, he says he’s going to drop me off. This man entered his car and zoomed off, leaving me in the rain at almost 10pm in a place that was totally unknown to me.
We went to see a movie pretty late and for “security” reasons, I had to spend the night at his place. He wouldn’t keep his hands off me, and it escalated to me screaming and trying to fight him off. He kept telling me that, “no one would hear me, if you like pull down the house with your voice”. I was able to run into the bathroom and lock myself in till morning. I couldn’t call anyone for help because he took my phone.
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