For many mothers, there is a unique kind of pride in watching their daughters live lives they were never allowed to imagine for themselves. For some, their dreams were derailed by marriage, responsibility, or circumstance. Yet, in their daughters’ ambition, courage, and refusal to shrink for society, they find healing and hope. 

In this article, five Nigerian mothers tell stories about their daughters who challenge, inspire, and remind them that it’s never too late to believe in better outcomes. 

1. “She Makes Me Want to Be Better” — Aisha*, 50 

I got married at 22 and had my first child at the same age. Marriage and motherhood derailed my life. I had plans to get my BSc, but I only got my ND. This was something my ex-husband and some members of his family mocked me for. I am doing well now, thank God, but those digs at my academic qualifications were one of the driving forces behind my need to give my children, especially my daughter, the kind of education I never received. 

As a mother, it is such a blessing to watch my daughter live the life I never got to live. She is 22 now, the same age I was when I had my first child, and she is already a first-class graduate in a course she’s extremely passionate about. Reading the hundreds of congratulatory messages I got after her convocation moved me to tears. I was the proudest mother when I saw her name on the first-class list. To this day, I still think about her convocation and the warmth it filled me with when I saw her achievement. 

She is not stopping at the BSc. She has plans to do a Master’s degree and is even toying with the idea of getting a Doctorate. She is always dreaming of becoming “disgustingly overeducated”. The thought of getting married before achieving these goals annoys her. Whenever someone so much as tells her to just get the rest of her degrees in her future husband’s house, she becomes very opinionated in a way that I never was at her age. It makes me so proud. I look up to her so much. She makes me want to be better. I wish I had someone like her as a friend when I was 22. Maybe my life would have turned out differently. 

2. “I Am So Proud That She is My daughter and I’m Her Mother” — Catherine*, 54

I never really discovered what I was gifted at because I never made active efforts to find out. It’s something I regret now, because I wish I had added more value to my life by learning different things that could have made my life better than it is today. My daughter, however, refuses to live with regrets. 

She lives to discover. She has dreams and works towards actualising them without anyone pushing her. She found her love for baking, and no one had to twist her arm to register for baking classes. She is now a professional baker, and whenever I  taste anything she bakes, my chest just tightens with affection. 

It is the same thing with writing. My daughter has been writing for as long as I can remember. The day she discovered she could create fictional worlds as a teenager, she proceeded to hone that talent, even into her 20s. Currently, her writing is her primary source of income, and I know it sometimes stresses her, but she loves what she does. 

I especially respect the way she refuses to have half-baked dreams. Once she decides to pursue something, she follows it through to the end. I think that’s a nice quality to have as a person. I am so proud that she’s my daughter and I’m her mother. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

3. “My beautiful daughter is a determined girl” — Bolanle*, 48 

After graduating from university, I planned to pursue a Master’s degree. That was always the plan. I thought I would get the chance to get my MSc degree, but then I got married and had kids. At first, I convinced myself that I could juggle marriage, kids, work, and a Master’s degree, but I was just deceiving myself. Eventually, I had to place my dreams on the back burner. I was terrified of messing up my children’s growth by leaving them with any house help. I wanted to be very involved in their lives. Unfortunately, my dreams took the brunt of that sacrifice. 

Not being able to achieve everything I planned was humbling, but having a daughter who is determined to accomplish every goal she sets for herself feels like good karma. My beautiful daughter is a determined girl. She is currently in her final year of university and has already announced her goal to pursue a Master’s. It may sound like wishful thinking to some, but she is a very disciplined and focused woman. She is already researching programmes and consulting her lecturers for advice. 

She takes her academic life seriously, and I have deep respect for her. Watching her work towards a dream I never got to achieve fills me with pride. I pray to live long enough to celebrate her fully achieving everything she sets out to do. 

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4. “She Isn’t Afraid to Go After What She Wants” — Ajoke*, 69

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always stuck to what worked. I am not exactly a fan of change, so when my textile business worked for me early on, I stayed with it. I love my business because I am passionate about it and because the income supports my household. But at the same time, it’s the only thing I know. 

I never gave myself the privilege to explore other things. As I grow older, people know me only for my textile business. This regret is why I am so proud of my eldest daughter. 

Before she found genuine love in the textile business, as I did, my daughter explored every option without fear. She worked a 9-5 for a while before realising it was not for her. Then she opened a shop selling non-alcoholic drinks. That went okay for a very long time, then she moved on to selling provisions, and later to alcoholic beverages. She sold drinks for 2 years before finally deciding to give the textile business a chance. 

Even though she was raised by a textile trader, my daughter never felt it was her first option. She allowed herself to explore other options.

Many people didn’t like that she refused to settle for one thing, but I was very proud of her then and remain so now.

5. “She is on a Path to Something Great” — Sarah*, 52 

I never went to university. I finished secondary school and barely had time to ask myself who I wanted to be before my mum pushed me to get married. It is one of my biggest regrets. Whenever  I see a career-driven woman my age, I feel so much envy. Every day, I wish my younger self had known that marriage doesn’t have to be the first option. This was something I consciously taught my daughter while she was growing up, and now that she is older, I am very glad she is on a path to something great. 

The proudest moment of my life was the day my daughter became a lawyer. University and law school were not very kind to her, but she has always been determined to give her best. She gave 150% for both,  graduating with excellent results. Every time someone calls me “Iya The Law”, I become so teary. My daughter worked really hard for that degree, and I admire her so much. She is on a path to learning more about herself, and is even considering setting up an NGO for girls who lack access to education. Every day, I look at her and wonder how lucky I am to be the mother of a woman who is doing everything she can to be a positive force in society. 

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