11 African Women Send A Message To Their 16-Year-Old Self

February 17, 2021

We can all agree that adulting is a scam. With the never-ending bills and responsibilities, we almost never have time for ourselves. So, for this article, we asked eleven African women what they would say to their 16-year-old self about growing up if they could go back in time

Alex, 25

You are not as grown as you think. Try dey calm down. Everything is going to be alright. 

Kay, 23 

You don’t need a man to be a woman. You don’t need to be in that relationship. It will affect your studies, and you will regret it. You know it’s not something you want. There is much more to life than you know. The romance novels lied. 

Lats, 27

Everything falls into place at the right time. Also, you are not weird, you are just gay. 

Anike, 27

You are not choosing to be inattentive, lazy, and unserious. You have ADHD. You are different and that’s okay. There’s a lot of people like you. You will find out eventually. Do not let it weigh you down. Live life according to your standards. Don’t let man-made cultural and religious rules hold you back. Do not try to be mature. You are a child, so it is fine to act like one. You are going to be alone for a long time, but you will do well. It’s okay to cry and to be hurt. It’s life but make sure to not lose sleep over anyone, except it’s an emergency. Do not beat yourself up too much. You no kill your mama make anything no kill you. Human beings can be a bunch of mean-spirited people, and you will be disappointed to find that out, but the truth is you need them to survive. 

Boma, 26

Sis, you are not going to marry Michael. He is not the beginning of life and death. Abeg calm down, boys ain’t shit and sex is overrated, dear. Also, being a virgin doesn’t make you better than anyone. 

Misan, 22

Please remember to always be nice to yourself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re not possessed. You do not need to pray your sexuality away. Yes, you like girls, so what? That’s who you are, and it’s never going to change. I wish you’d stop being so hard on yourself. You are not unusual because the people around you don’t get you. Try not to rush love. It will come soon and when it does, allow yourself to feel it in its entirety. It’s beautiful, I promise. 

Eloho, 20

Eloho, be more adventurous. Do not let overthinking keep you from trying new things. Trust yourself. There is no one better than you. Also, your decision to not get involved with guys will pay off in the long run. 

Vowhero, 24 

Focus on your studies. Don’t let friends derail you. Boys don’t have anything important to say. Try not to care what people say about you. Just do you, girl. Keep your head up high. At the end of the day, it’s just you vs the world. 

C, 21 

Please don’t starve yourself. It will not only lead to an eating disorder that will hurt you, and it will also backfire. You were always meant to be a sexy puff puff. 

Viola, 26

Do not say yes if you do not mean it. Please report them if they violate your consent. This is not what you deserve. 

Dora, 27

Perish that idea that you will be married with three kids before 25. Be ready — life is going to get tougher.

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Mariam Sule

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