From a sex therapist breaking down myths about sex education to career lessons from women in the corporate world, season 7 of Nigerians Talk gave us 160 minutes of laughter, honesty and “did they just say that?” moments.
Forty-five guests tackled the kind of questions we don’t often ask about sex, money, and how these topics shape the everyday lives of Nigerian women. Between the jokes and hot takes, we took important notes every woman should live by and every man should respect
To close out the season, here are eight of our favourite lessons.
House Chores Are Real Jobs
People often say women were born to cook, clean and care for children. Reality check: running a household while building a career is like doing two full-time jobs at once.There’s a reason people pay others to do it. The unpaid care work, period.
Whoever Pays the Bills Calls the Shots
The rule that whoever pays the rent makes the rules also applies to relationships. Allowing someone else to bankroll your existence means that you do not have the luxury of leaving a person when they put you in an uncomfortable situation.
In any society, financial power is the key to buying your independence, and it is hard to kick a woman out of your house when she legally owns the building you live in.
Ego Won’t Pay Your Rent
Women are often told not to outshine their partners financially. While prioritising your partner’s feelings is important in a relationship, putting a person’s ego before your financial stability is a dangerous move
Society claps when men own property, but shames women who do the same. The truth? It’s better to be criticised for being financially independent than dependent with nothing to fall back on.
Gender Equity Does Not Mean Enabling Gender Norms
Gender equity is about recognising that women face different challenges and providing the support needed to level the playing field. Gender equity means making maternity leave a woman’s right and making accommodations for women during their periods. It doesn’t mean telling women to stick to “home duties” while men bring in the money.
Premarital Sex ≠ Casual Sex
The fact that a person is having sex before marriage doesn’t automatically make them irresponsible. Casual sex means hookups or one-night stands. Responsible sexual behaviour is about consent, protection, and choice; it does not mean that complete abstinence is the only way to be responsible.
Everyone Should Carry Condoms
We can’t deny that these days, people are having sex in wild places; raves, cars, even churches. Making an effort to have safe sex means you care about your safety and you value your life. The alternative to enduring the pharmacist’s judgmental stare and buying a condom is a nasty gonorrhea infection. But while it is important to choose safe sex always, encouraging the use of contraceptives does not mean encouraging casual sex.
Kids Will Learn About Sex Anyway
If teenagers don’t get honest conversations about sex at home, they’ll get their education from porrn or even in school. Choosing not to have awkward, realistic conversations about sex with teenagers means they’ll learn it elsewhere. It’s not enough to tell teenagers to choose abstinence and chastity; teenagers need honest conversations about consent, sexuality, and contraceptives. Proper sex education actually makes them more responsible.
Bodily Autonomy Also Means Women Have the Final Say on What Contraceptives to Use
Men often argue that condoms reduce pleasure and push for withdrawal, even though it fails 20% of the time. Meanwhile, women face the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy and the side effects of hormonal contraceptives. Since women bear the heavier risks, it only makes sense that they get the final say on which contraceptive is used.
Next Read: Real Talk, No Shame: We Answered Questions on Sexual and Reproductive Health
