Is Kneeling The New Twale?

November 22, 2019

This is Zikoko’s Game of Votes Weekly Dispatch. We share the most important things that happen in Nigeria every week. 5pm Thursdays. Stay woke. 



Beggi Beggi, E No Good O    

Who knew Yahaya Bello, governor of Kogi State, was so influential? He definitely yields some kind of power over the who’s who in Nigerian politics if a whole Madame First Lady, Aisha Buhari, and Nasir El Rufai, Kaduna State Governor, can kneel in front of residents of Kogi state during a campaign on his behalf, begging them to vote him in for his second term as governor. 

Where Did This Happen?

Their theatre performance held at the Confluence Stadium in Lokoja, in front of a teeming crowd and an intrigued audience. We were intrigued when we heard that the hardcore El-Rufai fell on his knees, telling everyone to disregard the fact that Bello didn’t do anything worthwhile in his state during his first term. 

Even more ridiculous was the fact that El-Rufai deemed it reasonable to blame Yahaya Bello’s failings on his youth, stating that everyone should forgive him for his bad governance: “For every one that the governor has offended, I’m asking all of you to forgive him. He is young; he is supposed to make mistakes. When you are young, you make mistakes but you learn from them.”

Hmmm, colour us shocked that El-Rufai took a cue from Daddy Bubu with a spinoff of the lazy Nigeria youths mantra as if that’s a good enough excuse for Governor Bello’s ineptitude and nonpayment of salaries.

And Where Was Yahaya Bello While This Was Happening?

Right beside the two jokers grinning from ear to ear, probably thinking up ways to spend that N10 billion that was approved by the Senate two days to the Kogi state elections; budget padding things.


Nothing New, Just Election Insecurity Here And There 

Bayelsa and Kogi state held their gubernatorial election on Saturday, and as usual, mayhem and hell broke loose on election day. What would Nigeria be if thugs don’t appear to snatch ballot boxes and disrupt every electoral proceeding, basically spitting in the face of INEC?  

Okay, Seriously, What’s New?

Amid all the sporadic shootings and killings in the rerun senatorial elections in Kogi, Dino Melaye’s stated that his nephew got killed by a policeman’s bullet. Is this true or not? We’re not sure; it came from the horse’s mouth, so even though we take everything Melaye says with a pinch of salt we’re trying to believe that he wouldn’t joke about something so serious, least of all try to use it for political clout.

Meanwhile…

Meanwhile, Goodluck Jonathan was hella upset with members of his political party because of his alleged disagreement with the ex-governor of Bayelsa State, Seriake Dickson, over PDP’s decision to have Douye Diri run as the candidate for the Bayelsa State governor race.

The tea is that Goodluck Jonathan didn’t throw his weight behind Douye Diri; he didn’t lift a finger to support that poor man’s campaign, subtly giving APC a chance to become the ruling party in Bayelsa for the first time in history. The beef must have been strong for Daddy Jonah to quietly sabotage his party because of personal grievances, hope this won’t come back to bite him in the ass sha.



DID YOU MISS THIS?

  1. Bukola Dakolo’s case was dismissed by Justice Oathman A. Musa, who said that she was “insensitive” to the court of law and totally “sentimental”; Timi Dakolo had a lot to say about that matter.
  2. The African giant is taking over the world! On the heels of his expected trip to South Africa, after saying he’ll NEVER go back there, Burna Boy gets nominated for the GRAMMYS baby! 

NOT.THE.NEWS

Do you remember all the drama that Nigerian politicians have engaged in throughout the years? Do you even recall the name Dimeji Bankole? Well, since the 2010s are wrapping up we decided to create a list of some of the biggest political scandals Nigerians have been forced to experience by our craziest leaders.

Our fellas are still on the Jollof Road chopping the life of their heads but they’ve finally given a hint that all might not be as rosy as we thought on this road trip. Regardless of that though, we still believe they’re living the best life right now, at least they get to see all of West Africa while we are stuck here in Lagos traffic.


Ministry is moving

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We tell you the most important things that happened in Nigeria, during the week, in a way that won’t bore you to death.

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