Nigerians always get creative in finding new and hilarious coping mechanisms when our leaders show us shege pro-max unprovoked, which is all the time. 

In case you’ve heard your friend or neighbour using the phrase “floating berries and groceries” loosely on Twitter, it’s not because they’re rich. Let’s bring you up to speed real quick.

Grocery

The most popular of the bunch, grocery in Jagaban’s Nigeria is simply the new name for garri.

Floating berries

Our sense of humour will always get us through the tough times because tell me why this is the new name for groundnut. Tears!

Spicy steak

There’s no need to feel intimidated if your friend goes on and on about spicy steak. In Tinubu’s Nigeria, that’s the new name for kilishi.

White caramel

Source: All recipes

Look no further, this is milk—whether powdered or evaporated.

Crunchy peas

Source: cookpad

One of the biggest scams of the agbado era is the new name for roasted corn.

Sweetener

Source: CNN

Sugar has also gotten a fancy name. For example, if you want to have garri with milk, groundnut and sugar, you’ll say:  “I want to have some groceries, floating berries, some sweetener topped with a dash of white caramel.”

Seafood

Source: wikimedia commons

Please dear, you won’t be getting jumbo prawns or calamari. This is the new name for deep-fried panla. God, abeg.

Chocolate crunches

Source: Tasteatlas

Again, no need for any form of intimidation if you see anyone using this term loosely in Tinubu’s Nigeria; they’re talking about kulikuli.

Heated maize smoothie

Source: Grainfield

You’ve probably had it while it was cold and raining but since you were not informed at the time, now you know this is pap. A.k.a ogi.

Oceanic Aqua

Source: iStock

A glass of oceanic aqua please.