There’s so much new music being released that it’s hard for even the most loyal fans to wade through the trash to find the gems. That’s why we’ve created #BumpThis – a Friday series that features new songs, by and featuring Nigerians, that you absolutely need to hear.
Phyno — “Get The Info” ft. Phenom & Falz
Although he rarely gets the credit deserves, Phyno is one of the most consistent and versatile Nigerian artists in the game. Last year, he reaffirmed that fact with his third solo album, Deal With It, and now, he’s dropped a video for one of its most thoughtful songs, “Get The Info”.
On the Major Banggz-produced track, which features Phenom and Falz, we get the rappers spitting about the ills of our society — tackling everything from tribalism to poor governance. Phyno advises listeners to stay informed about what’s happening in the country.
Phyno is fantastic on the track, seamlessly alternating between Igbo and English. Phenom is also impressive, proving yet again just how underrated he is. Falz, who is always a welcome addition, slows down the pace for a more introspective closing verse, ending things on a high note.
1. They pay for your education, then they get mad when you have educated views.
This one is your fault sha.
2. They warn you to never date, then they start asking for spouse immediately you graduate.
Are they selling partners in the market?
3. They treat you like crap as a child, then they start forming BFFs when you’re an adult.
It’s too late, please.
4. They ask you a question, then they call you disrespectful for answering.
What do you want from me?
5. They never say sorry for being wrong, but they expect you to forgive them.
It’s not by giving me food.
6. They never speak to you about sex, then they refuse to shut up about grandkids.
How do you think the grandkids will appear?
7. They ask you to lead closing prayers, then they pray right after you.
So God didn’t hear my own?
8. They believe every WhatsApp BC they get, then they vex when you don’t believe them too.
Don’t force me to believe nonsense.
9. They can’t let you simply gist with them without turning it into a lecture.
This is why we don’t talk.
10. They do something to upset you, then they vex because you’re upset.
How are you the one that’s now upset?
11. They refuse to let you sleep because they are now awake.
Is it my fault that you woke up by 5 am?
12. They ask you to tell the truth, then they punish you when you do.
Na me fuck up.
Stars like Wizkid, Burna Boy, Tiwa Savage and Davido have been doing it for years, but do you have what it takes to orchestrate an afropop hit? Well, all you have to do is pick your artists, producer, co-writer and video director, and we’ll let you know if your song flops or not.
Go ahead:
There’s so much new music being released that it’s hard for even the most loyal fans to wade through the trash to find the gems. That’s why we’ve created #BumpThis – a Friday series that features new songs, by and featuring Nigerians, that you absolutely need to hear.
Payper Corleone, Sinzu & Hotyce — “Full Effect”
The last two years have been pretty good for hip-hop in Nigeria, with a lot more attention being paid to the oft-ignored genre. Sure, it’s been mostly due to tedious pissing contests about who the greatest rapper really is, but we’ll just have to take what we get.
So, to kick off the year in rap, Payper Corleone, Sinzu and Hotyce teamed up for “Full Effect” – 2020’s first proper hip-hop record. While the production work isn’t particularly inventive, the song is clearly just an excuse for the three stars to flex, and that they do.
On the track, all three of them brag about a host of different things — from their way with the ladies to their skill behind the mic. Spitting an endless barrage of solid bars, everyone delivers, but it’s the legendary Sinzu who unsurprisingly emerges as the song’s MVP.
1. Your body, trying to remember how to wake up early:
How did I do this before the holiday?
2. The traffic returning from its own holiday like:
You can’t even wait small?
3. You, throughout your first day back at the office:
I’m not ready for this.
4. When your co-worker asks you about your holiday.
Don’t remind me of the freedom I’ve lost, abeg.
5. When a co-worker comments on your holiday weight gain.
Better face your work.
6. You, pretending to actually get work done:
That salary must still enter.
7. You, immediately searching for the next public holiday:
I’m already tired.
8. When you hear someone say they “missed work”.
Is it crack?
9. Your broke ass, counting down the days until January salary enters:
Hay God! Why did I do Detty December?
10. How time moves on the first day back:
What kind of slow ass day is this?
11. You, finally leaving the office:
I MADE IT.
There’s so much new music being released that it’s hard for even the most loyal fans to wade through the trash to find the gems. That’s why we’ve created #BumpThis – a Friday series that features new songs, by and featuring Nigerians, that you absolutely need to hear.
Cobhams Asuquo — “We Plenti” ft. Simi
While Cobhams’ songs rarely get any real mainstream love — he actually releases a lot more music than people realise — they are consistently impressive. That’s the case with his new Simi-assisted single, “We Plenti”.
On the thoughtful track, both stars sing about being patient and waiting for your time to come. Cobhams rarely collaborates with other artists, but we’re glad he did because Simi helps elevate the already solid effort.
Zlatan — “Quilox”
Nigerian artists rarely drop party-starters at the beginning of the year, but it seems Zlatan didn’t get the memo, as he’s now kicked things off with his infectious new single, “Quilox”.
On the track, which has the same manic energy as Zlatan’s biggest hits, the rapper advises listeners to hustle so they won’t suffer. While not exactly groundbreaking, it’s a solid first single from the hitmaking star.
2019 saw a lot of defining Nigerian songs — from Rema’s breakout hit, “Dumebi”, to Burna Boy’s Obama-approved “Anybody” — but there were still a lot of great tracks that got overlooked. So, we decided to spotlight 10 songs that deserved to be so much bigger.
In no particular order, here they are:
1. Ladipoe’s “Jaiye”
Exceptionally produced and performed, Ladipoe’s “Jaiye” was easily one of 2019’s best songs, but it never got the attention it very clearly deserved. Even with a flawless music video, which nabbed a Headies nomination, the song stayed frustratingly under the radar.
2. Tems’ “Looku Looku”
Tems’ “Try Me” was one of the biggest breakout songs of last year, but before that anthemic track, the rising star kicked off 2019 with the hypnotic “Looku Looku”. Singing about a trifling lover, Tems brought the same intensity that made “Try Me” so instantly appealing.
3. Adekunle Gold’s “Kelegbe Megbe”
With “Before You Wake Up” and “Young Love”; 2019 was the year Adekunle Gold showed off his range. In between those hits, however, he dropped “Kelegbe Megbe” — a Fela-inspired ode to authenticity. The underrated gem is undoubtedly one of the singer’s most accomplished efforts.
4. Falz & Dice Ailes’ “Alakori”
Even with expectedly fun verses from Falz, a really strong music video, and one of the catchiest hooks of 2019, courtesy of Dice Ailes, “Alakori” inexplicably failed to become the monster hit it was tailor-made to be. Would it have blown if it came out in a different year? We’ll never know.
5. YCee’s “Dakun”
On “Dakun”, YCee had a little something for every kind of fan — from those who love his impeccable flow to those who were won over by his solid voice. Not since “Juice” has a YCee single been this radio-friendly, which is what makes its tepid performance all the more frustrating
6. Asa’s “Good Thing”
After leaving us for half a decade, Asa returned with a bang. Following the beloved “The Beginning”, she dropped the empowering “Good Thing” — a song about realising your worth. The powerful message alone should have made the stunning track perform a lot better.
7. Fireboy DML’s “King”
Fireboy DML had many wins in 2019 — from the success of his breakout hit, “Jealous”, to the release of his acclaimed debut, Laughter, Tears & Goosebumps — but we still think the fantastic “King”, easily the best single he put out, deserved to soar higher than it did.
8. Reekado Banks’ “Put In Pressure”
The always-great Reekado Banks was responsible for one of 2019’s most inescapable hits, “Rora”, but his equally impressive follow-up, “Put In Pressure”, didn’t quite take off the way we expected it to, even though it was released right in time for Detty December.
9. Omawumi’s “For My Baby”
More than any other song on this list, Omawumi’s astonishing “For My Baby” got totally ignored last year. One of the best-written love songs of 2019, it’s downright criminal that its accompanying music video hasn’t even been able to amass up to 10,000 views on YouTube.
10. Oxlade’s “Legend”
Oxlade is clearly destined to be a star, and on his underheard 2019 single, “Legend”, he declares as much. Thoughtfully written and passionately performed, this is the up-and-comer at his most self-assured, and we can’t wait to see all that promise to finally pay off.
Which of your physical features stands out the most? Is it your captivating eyes, your kissable lips, your eye-catching butt, or all of the above? Well, if you’re not sure, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you.
Take to find out:
Sex Lifeis an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
Today’s subject is a 26-year-old heterosexual woman who originally planned to remain a virgin until marriage. Then she lost her leg to cancer and decided that life was too short to wait.
When did you have your first sexual experience?
I was about 14. The guy and I didn’t have full-on sex, but we kissed, fondled and he fingered me. It was mostly exploratory. I hadn’t seen a penis in person until that moment, so it was all very new to me. He actually did most of the touching.
I told him I was saving myself for marriage, but he still decided to try his luck. While I was getting used to all the fondling, this dude tried to put his penis in my ass. I almost let him because I didn’t want to seem too inexperienced.
My eyes cleared immediately the tip of his penis touched my asshole. It was so painful that I started contemplating if sex was even for me at all. For a long time after that, I didn’t allow guys to go near the bottom half of my body.
Wait. Are you still saving yourself for marriage?
Nah. I lost my virginity when I was 22.
What made you change your mind?
When I was 21, I lost my left leg to cancer. After the amputation, I was in a really bad place emotionally and I needed some kind of release. At that point, foreplay and erotic content were no longer doing it for me.
I was a mess because I was trying to deal with the reality of losing my leg and just how sexually frustrated I was feeling. The entire thing got me thinking that I could have died without ever having had sex. So, I decided to do it with a guy I was dating at the time.
So sorry about that. Do you regret the decision?
Not even a little. See, everything leading up to sex — from kissing to fondling — is a scam. The actual thing is so much better. I’m convinced that I made the right choice.
Was religion the main reason you were initially saving yourself?
Honestly, I had an intense, almost irrational fear of getting pregnant. That was really my biggest barrier. Like, I knew contraceptives were an option, but that didn’t make me any less scared. Eventually, I accepted that if it happened, I’d just get an abortion.
So, what was your opinion about sex before you had it?
Save for my phobia for getting pregnant, I never thought it was something bad. The way people went on about it, however, I expected it to be some life-changing event. Don’t get me wrong, when I finally had it, I thought it was great, but I still think people get too worked up over it.
I know what you mean. Besides sex, how did you cope after the amputation?
I know I should have, but I never went for therapy. I’m still dealing with it because every day is a reminder of what happened to me. Thankfully, I had — and still have — a very good support system. I definitely made some bad choices along the way, but I’m a lot better now.
That’s great to hear. How else did your amputation affect your sex life?
I don’t really have anything to compare it to. I wouldn’t exactly define what I had pre-amputation as a sex life. That being said, I don’t think it affected much. I doubt there’s anything an abled person can do that I can’t.
There might be a bit of discomfort, but I’m certain I’m just as capable as anyone else. I mean, I still have my knees and one foot, so if I need to contort myself and I’m not wearing my prosthetics, I could still make it work.
Mad. Have you had to deal with any ignorant partners?
I luckily haven’t had to. I’ve had sex with just two people, and I was in a relationship with both of them. I was friends with my ex before my amputation, and we started dating after. With my current partner, we were also friends first.
I don’t feel comfortable taking off my prosthetics around strangers, so a one-night stand is definitely off the table. I have to really get to know someone before I feel comfortable enough to take off my leg around them.
It’s not even a case of me being self-conscious. I have a disability, so if the situation becomes dangerous and my leg is already off, how do I escape? So, yeah, my mind tends to imagine different scenarios like that.
That makes sense.
That’s not to say that I don’t get self-conscious though. Like, if I’m feeling very uncomfortable and I need to take off my prosthetics in public, I make sure I have a scarf to cover my limb. I feel weird when people are just staring at me, whether it’s with sympathy or curiosity.
Fair. So, what’s sex like for you these days?
It’s great. At first, with my ex, it was a bit underwhelming. With my current partner, however, it’s incredible. We explore and experiment a lot. I’m also very comfortable with him, so there’s never an awkward moment. He’s helped me discover pleasure points I never even knew existed.
So, you’re fine with the level your sex life is currently at?
Well, to be fair, even though I’m enjoying the level I’m currently at right now, I do think I’m a bit vanilla in the bedroom. I feel like I still have a lot to explore, so I’m constantly looking for new things to try.
I can’t quite place my finger on what exactly I’m looking for, but I know I want more. I’m not in a rush to find it though. I’m still trying to learn about my body and my partner’s body; learn what we like and what we don’t. Then we’ll see where it goes from there.
Is there anything you’ve tried in the bedroom that didn’t work out?
LMAO. Yeah. It was a very embarrassing experience. My ex and I tried to spice things up by having table sex, and it was disastrous. He was a student, so he had all those weak ass plastic tables. He put me on it, and I fell down hard.
The plan was for me to use my prosthetic leg, so both my legs would be on the floor. Well, my prosthetic leg gave way, I gave way and the table gave way. Immediately I fell down, the mood was ruined.
Ouch.
Yeah. We didn’t have sex for a week after that. I was really in my head because of it. I kept thinking that maybe it wouldn’t have happened if I had both legs. The self-pity was intense, and I still haven’t had the liver to attempt table sex again.
How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10?
I would give it a 7.
Why just a 7?
Well, I’m satisfied but I think it could be better. I’ve heard my friends talk about their sexual experiences — I don’t know if they’re exaggerating or not — but it doesn’t sound like we are having the same sex.
So, while I consider my sex life to be goooood, I still want to try a lot of new things (especially toys). So, in 2020, we move.
Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer.
