Life hacks sound great. University in Nigeria, after all, is a drawn-out rite of passage.

So it helps to have a few tips to wriggle your way around. But as I’ve found out, having the formula doesn’t always mean you can solve the maths.

You do, however, deserve a fighting chance.

atheists

That’s why I’m here. I’m the plug. The one with the tips. Let’s go to the place where the answers are.

Become a course representative

Why would a lecturer fail the only name and face he actually remembers?

You’re the collector in his side-hustle and will be treated with adequate respect. A free pass if there ever was one.

Keep your materials close. And your friends closer.

Simply, there are people with the plug to the exact pages of some random textbook from 2015.

They are–as you may have found–the difference between life and deep self-reflection.

Never be the lone wolf – Always move with the pack

universities clique

Some people will wait for you till you’re all alone, find an audience and embarrass you. So you need to be with your squad at all times.

Sometimes, you’ll need them so you can start the new semester looking like Migos rejects in unison, with one mind. It’s all valid.

Create Value for the tandem – Become a plug

There’s a value chain in the university ecosystem. You, as a young person trying to survive, are only as useful as what you offer.

For me, it was the newest music on flash drives, straight from Lagos. Jimmy Jatt would have been proud.

You could join the SUG. Or a dance group.

Everybody loves a dancer. Which is why Stomp The Yard is a disturbing movie.

Except the problem is you probably can’t dance and university is the worst possible place to make that public.

What I didn’t tell you at the beginning of this post is that most of these hacks don’t work.

sorry-nigerian universities

The truth is that there are no real hacks. But there’s something that can get you through anything from university to adulting – hard, smart work.

Either way, with the right amount of tenacity, you can make it out of university.

university hack quality

When you do, remember to come to thank me for being a mentor and helping you find yourself and all that.

Before then, if you’d like to tell great stories while thinking about your 8am lecture, click here.

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