You’ve spent most of your life hearing about your dad, who, for some reason, has been absent from your life. Then you finally meet him, only for him to dash your hopes and say the vilest things, leaving you wondering if you’d have been better off not knowing he existed at all.

These Nigerians know this feeling all too well. We asked them to share some of the craziest things their absentee dads have said to them, and their stories are sad, to say the least.

“Go and ask your mother to show you your real father” — Damilola, 34

He said, the first time I saw him in 20 years.

“I’ll rather die if you and your brother are my last hope of survival”— Hakeem, 34

He said to our mum during the middle of a custody battle

“I don’t know who you are” — Ibukun*, 29

He said after I greeted him at my brother’s wedding.

“Your mother hasn’t died yet?” — Toun*, 34

His first comment when I told him I was getting married.

“My father didn’t leave anything for me. Expect nothing from me.”— Qudus*, 34

He said to my brother and me during our first visit to his new house.

“Switch off the life support. I don’t have money to waste.” — Eunice*, 41

He said during the second week of my coma.

“I have other kids who need my love and attention.” — Seyi*, 22

He said after unsuccessfully trying to separate me from my mum.

“No matter what, I can never be the one begging you.” — Leke*, 37

He said, the first time I ever saw him in 35 years.  

“You have to buy me a car first.” — Desola*, 29

He said after I was forced to invite him to my wedding.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.