Nigerians are direct about many things. Someone’s weight, being unmarried at thirty and the fact that you’ve worn a shirt too many times. But somehow we’re never direct about body odour.

The sudden need for fresh air

Once you hear this from someone in the room, raise your arms and smell your armpits just to be sure. No matter how small or large the space is, the demand for fresh air while they fan themselves and comment on how stuffy the place, throwing you a side eye, should immediately ring all your alarm bells. This is how the body odour is holding them:

The room starts to smell like everything except the actual problem

Someone comes into a room of Nigerians and the next thing you hear is, “My brother, did any rat die here?” or “Did someone leave the soakaway tank open?” The culprit will even join in not knowing the call is coming from inside the house or rather inside their shirt. 

They forget how to hug

Nigerians will hug you and lift you in the air when they see you, especially if you’re close friends. Suddenly they’re giving you quick side hugs and firm boardroom handshakes. During the sidehug, they face away from you and turn their noses up. You might leave the interaction wondering if they have beef with you. Don’t worry, they only have beef with your smell. 

They disperse immediately the culprit enters

Now, of course your first thought will be that they’re gossiping about you. Or if you’re delusional, you’d think they’re planning a party for you. The only thing being planned is a smell intervention and they’re deliberating on who will take the heavy responsibility of breaking the news to you. 

They look for excuses to ask if you want to bathe 

It always feels like a throwaway comment, but if you check closely, you’d notice it always comes when you’re about to go out with friends or friends are coming over. Everyone is suddenly concerned about your shower time. And if you come out after two minutes they’d say, “Ah, you don finish to bath?” They just want the best for you… and for their noses too.

Now, the best way to address this issue is a kind private word shared in the most non-confrontational way, and maybe, a gift box of deodorant and some good-looking soap. Go forth and smell beautifully!