The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

How long have you been with your partner?

I’ve been with Bola for nearly a year and a half. I’ve never been with someone who gets me like her.

I love it already. How did you meet?

We met at a club in 2024. I love nightlife, and I’m constantly going out with my guys. One night, a mutual friend and his friend group tagged along with mine. Bola was part of the friend group. I’d heard of her from friends, especially how funny she was, and when we met up, I understood what they meant. She’s the sort of person who makes you laugh without trying. I was drawn to her from the start.

At the club, I eventually got tired of dancing, so I went to sit on the stairs outside. Bola came to join me a few minutes later, and we bought suya, drank, and laughed the night away. One thing led to another, and we Ubered to my house and slept together.

We continued having sex for a month until she casually said, “You, this boy, are we dating?” I didn’t think twice before saying yes, and that was that.

So she “toasted” you.

In my defence, I was planning to properly ask her to be my girlfriend a little later. I wanted to get to know her better first, but one thing about Bola is that she will get her way. Still, I’m glad it happened the way it did because it was silly, and that’s just how we are.

Those first months in particular were so much fun. We would go out, have sex, and laugh the night away. Sometimes, I wasn’t even sure what was funny; I just knew I was happier whenever we were together. Of course, when we settled a bit into the relationship, things had to get a little more serious, and I learned that she wasn’t just funny, but extremely smart and caring, everything I admire in a woman.

So cute. When things got serious, were there also conversations about money?

Of course. Bola loves money. She works as a customer service executive at a bank, so talking about money is essentially what she does all day.

One day, she forced us to have a sit-down conversation and talk about our future. She’s dating to get married, which is fine by me, so the conversation was to assess our compatibility. During the discussion, I mentioned my work as a UI/UX designer and that I earn ₦350k a month. She made me write out my monthly budget, and when I was done, she asked me where she fit in.

It was a joke, but I took it seriously, and now I spend roughly ₦50k a month on her. Sometimes it’s to buy gifts, especially jewellery. Other times, it’s to go to restaurants because she loves getting aesthetic pictures in pretty places. I don’t mind spending that money because Bola means a lot to me.

She also spends on me, which I never expected a girlfriend to do. She earns ₦250k a month and always makes sure to get me things I need that are within her budget. These seem like little things, but each time she does them, I’m grateful.

Last month, for example, my favourite body wash ran out, and Bola noticed when she spent the night. The next day, she bought it for me. The soap is pricey, about ₦11k, but she didn’t mind. When I protested, she made a joke about how I was smelling.

Our mutual goal is to become higher earners so we can start properly planning our future.

It seems like you both have the money aspect of your relationship handled.

You could say that, but last year, there was the problem of Bola’s best friend, Mercy.

She loves Mercy. They were always together and did everything together. I wouldn’t have minded that if Mercy hadn’t insisted on doing everything with me as well.

She started by crashing my and Bola’s restaurant dates. She would show up, claim she was in the area, and then make herself at home. From there, she’d ask Bola if she could order something, and Bola would agree. Early on, Bola would try to pay for the food, but I wouldn’t let her. After a while, she stopped asking me before adding Mercy to the tab.

I was constantly footing Mercy’s bills at outings she wasn’t invited to. Last November, I spent an extra ₦30k feeding Mercy on yet another date she crashed; expenses I hadn’t budgeted for.

The worst part is that she never said thank you. She would just praise me for being a “big boy,” and then continue talking to Bola.

Did you complain about this to Bola?

I tried to, but she was very protective of Mercy. She was like, “Mercy is my closest friend. If you couldn’t handle the bills, why did you insist early on?” It was like seeing a different side of her. The Bola I knew outside Mercy would always defend me.

One time, before a date, I told Bola that if Mercy crashed, she would pay her own bill, and Bola got upset that I was insinuating Mercy was finding us on purpose. But wasn’t she? In 2025, she crashed at least 10 dates, and I spent over ₦300k on her alone. I would legit be scared whenever Bola and I went out, fearing Mercy would find us.

That’s a lot.

The date crashing wasn’t even the worst thing she did. Last December, Mercy wanted to throw a birthday party, and of course, Bola was helping with the plans. All of a sudden, Mercy called and asked if I could help financially as well.

Before this, she had never called me, and I found it incredibly inappropriate, but when I told Bola, she begged me to help. I felt hurt that she took Mercy’s side, but I agreed.

I budgeted ₦50k for the party, but Mercy said she needed me to buy multiple things: cups, drinks, a cake, and pay for her photoshoot. 

You say?

I was so shocked. I told Bola I wasn’t going to do it, and we fought about it until she cried. I don’t like seeing my girlfriend cry, so I just agreed. 

For that birthday, I dug into my savings and paid about ₦180k. I was so angry. I haven’t even touched my savings for Bola, but for Mercy, I was breaking the bank.

That was when I knew things had to change. I sat Bola down and explained it was unfair for me to spend so much money on someone I barely knew, and that I didn’t plan to enter the new year buying anything for Mercy. I think seeing me upset finally opened her eyes, because she agreed, apologised, and said she’d talk to Mercy.

Did she?

I think so. This year, Mercy has crashed a lot fewer dates, just five this year. When she does show up, she’ll pay for her food or just not get anything. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress.

She did try to revert to her old ways a few times, but Bola joked about how she was trying to kill me. It must have worked because I haven’t paid for any of Mercy’s meals this year.

But if I thought Mercy was done with her nonsense, I was wrong. In August, she and Bola went out, and Mercy called me to send ₦20k for their drinks.

I refused, but then she implied I was going to let my girlfriend have a bad night. I grudgingly sent the money. Only for me to call Bola the next day and realise Bola had actually paid for the drinks. Mercy only covered the cab fare, which was ₦8kt. Angry does not even begin to cover what I felt.

Bola apologised on Mercy’s behalf, saying she had some money problems. She also confessed that Mercy had been borrowing ₦30k from her nearly every month for months.

That was my final straw. I didn’t care what Mercy was going through, but she couldn’t keep taking advantage. I told Bola she has to cut Mercy off. She cried and begged me to give her best friend another chance, but I’ve put my foot down.

 Do you know if she actually cut Mercy off?

I don’t think so. She got Mercy to return my ₦20k and apologise. She also no longer brings Mercy up when we’re together, and they haven’t hung out since I told her to cut her off. They might still be talking, but honestly, that’s good enough progress for now. As long as Mercy isn’t affecting my life badly, I will accept the distance.

How do you feel about your relationship today?

It’s fine. In all this, I haven’t once considered leaving Bola. Who will I go to? There is really no one like her. I want to keep building our relationship. I see us getting married in five years, but I want to be earning at least ₦1m a month before I propose. Stability matters just as much to me as love.

Whatever my future holds, I want it to be with Bola… and without Mercy.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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