Imade* (29) was convinced her best friend, Tomi*, was dating yet another man who would eventually break her heart. So, she decided to test him herself. But what started as a plan to expose Isaac* turned into a friendship-ending betrayal.

This is Imade’s explanation as told to Betty

Tomi and I have been close friends since our first year at university. We’ve seen so many versions of each other that I’m sure there’s no one who knows us better. I see her as my sister, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her happiness.

We’ve rarely had any serious fights because we understand each other so well. But there’s one thing we’ve always disagreed about: men.

Tomi’s taste in men leaves much to be desired. If they aren’t nonchalant about her, they’re verbally unkind, or worse, cheaters. Whenever one of her relationships ended, it broke my heart to see how badly she was hurt. Tomi isn’t perfect, but she’s a real lover.  She pours herself into her relationships even when the person on the receiving end doesn’t deserve it. 

As we’ve gotten older, Tomi’s desire to settle down has grown, and I think that has made her more willing to tolerate things she shouldn’t.

In 2024, Tomi left what I considered her worst relationship. She’d spent two years with a man who strung her along with promises of marriage while being cold, emotionally manipulative and repeatedly unfaithful. He left her constantly stressed, so I was relieved when they broke up. I was even happier when Tomi said she wanted to take a break from dating and spend some time alone.

That didn’t last very long.

Early this year, she started dating Isaac*. From the moment I met him, I knew I didn’t like him.  He had thin, dyed dreadlocks, but that wasn’t what really put me off. When Tomi introduced us, the first place his eyes went was my chest. He hadn’t even looked at my face. Something about him immediately felt off. I told Tomi to keep her options open, but she was determined to make things work with Isaac. Since talking to her wasn’t working, I decided to test him myself.

First, I followed Isaac on social media to keep tabs on him. He followed me back immediately and began liking almost everything I posted, especially pictures where I showed a little skin. That confirmed my suspicions, but I knew Tomi wouldn’t consider a few likes enough reason to leave him.

So, I pushed further.. I started sending him reels and checking in on him whenever Tomi mentioned that he was having a difficult day. I complimented his appearance and occasionally made suggestive jokes to see how he would respond. I wanted him to believe I was attracted to him, even though I had no intention of actually sleeping with him.

A few weeks later, I ran into him at a rave without Tomi. I danced close to him, let him buy me drinks and didn’t stop him when he placed his hand on my waist. By the end of the night, he was looking at me like a hungry man looks at food.

After that, our messages became openly sexual. I told him I’d thought about kissing him at the rave and asked what he would’ve done if I had. He said he wouldn’t have stopped me. 

Then he started asking to see me privately.

I kept encouraging his passes until he suggested that I come to his place. Before agreeing, I asked if he was worried about hurting Tomi. His response was, “I won’t say anything if you don’t.” 

That was the evidence I needed. 

I took screenshots of our conversations and showed everything to Tomi. I told her to leave Isaac and move on before he hurt her the way her previous partners had.

I thought she’d be grateful. Instead, she became cold towards me. After Tomi and Isaac broke up, she started avoiding me. Even the group chat we shared with some other friends also went quiet.

When I eventually asked Tomi what had changed, she said she wasn’t comfortable being close to me anymore. She said I could have warned her as soon as Isaac started responding to my messages, but instead, I kept flirting with him, danced with him and allowed things to become sexual. She couldn’t understand why proving a point required me to go that far.

I explained that Isaac might’ve denied everything if I’d approached her with only a few likes and flirty messages. I needed undeniable proof that he was willing to cheat. But Tomi said I hadn’t just caught him cheating, I’d carefully seduced him. I reminded her that I did it to prove that the man had no principles and would only hurt her down the line, but she still felt betrayed. She also said she could never feel comfortable introducing me to another partner.

I tried to talk to our other friends about what happened, but they took Tomi’s side, and now, I’m on the fringes of the friend group. It hurts, but everything I did was to protect her.

I can only wait for her to come around. I won’t feel bad for trying to keep her out of harm’s way.

Read Also: Sunken Ships: I Introduced a Pathological Liar to the Group Chat