There is nothing a parent wants more than for their children to succeed. Sometimes, the best they can offer is well-meaning advice, but well-meaning is not always what works.

These 7 Nigerians chose to go against their parents’ career and financial advice, and ultimately followed their hearts to career success. Here are their stories.

“I’m the only person in my family who isn’t a lawyer” — Yemisi*, F, 26, Lagos. 

My parents believe the only successful jobs in Nigeria are doctors, lawyers, and bankers. They’re lawyers themselves, and they tried to push my brother and me down the same path.

My brother inherited their lawyer genes, but I didn’t. I just always knew that career path wasn’t for me. To my parents’ disappointment, I studied Mass Communication at the university. Up until my final year, my mum constantly reminded me that it wasn’t too late to change my course and study law.

I’m now a social media manager who earns ₦500k a month — twice as much as my brother. These days, when my mum prays for me, she starts by thanking God for my stubbornness.

“Stay in a job even if your employer is toxic” — Tolu*, M, 31, Abuja.

My father has always advised me to stay in any job I get, no matter how bad the employers are or how little the pay is, because “God will turn it around.” In his defence, he grew up poor and endured a lot to get to where he is today.

My first job was in a pension house, where they paid me ₦60k, and I had an abusive supervisor. She would walk into a room and start yelling at us for being stupid. She once threw a mug at my head for greeting her in a tone she didn’t like.

Even though my father said I should manage, I quit without any other prospects. Two months later, I got another pension job for ₦190k/month. It’s been three years, and I’m now earning ₦240k/month. My supervisor loves me. He even invited me to his daughter’s wedding last year. 

My dad never went back on his advice, sha. He told me I just got lucky. 

“You can only get rich in the city.” — Jibril*, M, 54, Niger.

My uncle, who was practically my father, begged me to go to Lagos for work 20 years ago. He swore the city was the only place to find high-paying jobs or hustle. I bitterly refused. Even in my twenties, city life never appealed to me. It sounded too fast-paced and immoral. We fought about it, and he broke my heart by going to Lagos without me. 

I stuck with farming and still do it today. In a month, I can make over ₦2 million off my poultry farm. I make enough to send my children to private schools in Abuja, even though I’m still in Niger.

My uncle died in Lagos three years after our fight, so he never got to see my farm flourish, but I know he would be proud of me. 

“You have to look a certain way to get a job” —  Hadiza*, F, 24, Abuja.

My mum is conservative and believes in “dressing the way you want to be addressed.” Immediately after NYSC, she bought me the ugliest blouse and trousers I’ve ever seen, telling me it was corporate and would score me my first job.

The thing is, I have coloured hair and piercings. I didn’t want a job that’d steal from my personal style. So, I refused to work anywhere that demanded I remove my piercings or dye my hair black. My mother hated this so much. She even slapped me when I went on to dye my hair red. 

A year after NYSC, I scored an international job as a graphic designer. I earn $500 (about ₦670k) a month. During my interview, one of the first things the interviewer said was that she loved my eyebrow piercing. 

My mum thinks it’s only because I work for a foreigner that I get away with it, but deep down, I know she just hates the fact that I don’t look the way she wants me to.

“Work a 9-to-5” – Aliya*, F, 22, Ibadan.

My mum used to tell me remote work was nonsense. I remember when it became the norm during the pandemic; she would always complain that it was spoiling work culture… whatever that means.

I interned at a PR company last year, and hated everything about it. Dressing up early, sitting at a desk, and never having time for anything else. They tried to retain me for ₦150k, but I refused. When my mum found out, she nearly lost her mind.

Around this time, my friend introduced me to webnovel writing. I started writing at night while lying down in bed, and 4 months later, I made my first million.

It’s only been 10 months since I started earning, but I consistently make ₦500k-₦1 million a month from the comfort of my bed. My mum’s complaints disappeared after I showed her one of my dollar alerts. Since then, she asks me if there’s anything I need at home to help me write better.

“As a woman, your family should come first.” — Hamzat* 30, F, Port Harcourt.

My mum never wanted me to work a proper job. She assumed I would go into a food business like hers so that I could stay at home with my children when I got married. 

I was totally on board until I got my first proper job in HR six years ago. Not only was I earning ₦200k, but I also had benefits like health care, free lunches, and a subsidised company gym. No child could come before all that.

I got married two years ago, and my mother has been pestering me to leave my job so I can start my food business before having a child, but I no longer want that. It got so bad that my husband had to beg her to leave me alone and promise her that he was happy whether I stopped working or not. I don’t think I could have stood up to her without him.

“As a woman, you must give the men whatever they want.” — Eniola*, 26, F, Lagos.

My parents have always taught me to be meek and humble as a woman, and that also applies to my work life.

Three years ago, I was working as a junior videographer earning ₦79k/month in a small newsroom. On my first day, one of the women sighed and said, “The new errand girl is here to replace me.”

That’s how I became a slave in that office: going to buy lunches for the men and helping clean up when there was a mess, even though there was a cleaner in the office.

When I told my mum, she said that those are the realities of being a working-class Nigerian woman, so I endured. But my final straw came when I gave an idea during a meeting, and the loudest man in the office said I should shut up while his fellow men snickered.

I told my mum about it and that I planned to resign. Thankfully, she finally agreed with me. My dad also put me on a ₦65k/month allowance until I could find something else. I pivoted to marketing five months later and now earn ₦230k/month. The best part? My office consists mostly of women, and I feel like we’re a family. 

My parents still apologise for what I went through as a videographer, but I’ve let it go. I know they can be a little backwards, but at the end of the day, they still want what’s best for me.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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