Demola* (29) and Sarah* (28) were matched by a mutual friend in November 2025.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about falling in love after just two meetings, taking the ‘unpopular’ decision to move in together less than three months later, and how Sarah’s fear of depending on a man almost destroyed the healthiest relationship she’d ever known.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Sarah: November 2025. A mutual friend matched us after I shared on WhatsApp that my mum was pressuring me to get married. She reached out and said, “I actually know someone if you’re serious. He’s a lawyer and a really nice guy.”
I told her I was interested, as long as he wasn’t a player, and she assured me he wasn’t. When Demola texted me, the first thing I noticed was his profile picture. It was a line from a poem. I’m a poet, and I immediately became curious. I actually thought he was trying to impress me, so instead of replying to his greeting, I asked about the poem.
Demola: It was a quote from Interstellar: “Do not go gentle into that good night…” I’d had it on my profile picture for years because it means a lot to me.
Sarah: He talked about the poem, and I realised he wasn’t trying to impress me at all. The backstory was fascinating, which impressed me.
Demola: But yes, my earliest memory also starts with our mutual friend. At that point, I was laser-focused on myself. Then, out of nowhere, our friend tells me she knows someone I’d like. I kept saying I didn’t want wahala because I was perfectly happy being single. But she convinced me to send Sarah a message and even shared her Instagram.
I did a little stalking first. She looked exactly like my type. I liked her job and how she carried herself in her videos. I kept trying to convince myself not to text, but before I knew it, I’d landed in her DMs and was explaining my profile picture.
Screaming. So how did things progress from there?
Sarah: We kept talking because I found him interesting. I was in the middle of organising my first book launch, so I wasn’t always available. But whenever we spoke properly, we’d spend hours talking about our work, values, faith, and the lives we wanted.
One thing that stood out was how emotionally open he was. He sent these ridiculously long voice notes and never avoided difficult conversations. Even when I’d disappear for days, he’d simply check in without making me feel guilty.
Demola: I’ll say we both knew what it was from the jump. By the second day, we’d already agreed we weren’t interested in wasting each other’s time. I came in with very strong, “I’m here to woo you” energy, and that honesty helped us move quickly.
Sarah: Somewhere in the middle of all that, I invited him to my book launch and asked him to bring cake.
How did that first physical meeting go?
Sarah: First of all, he showed up carrying two cakes. I always joke that the moment I saw him struggling through the door with both cakes, I thought, “Ah. I don catch am.” It was incredibly sweet.
Demola: She barely had time for me because she was running the event, but I knew I had to be there. She was leaving for Nigeria almost immediately, and I felt that if we didn’t meet before she travelled, we’d lose whatever momentum we’d built.
Sarah already had this “I enjoy my own company” energy. She sometimes took forever to reply to messages. Imagine adding another continent to the equation.
Sarah: Even though I remember the cake moment, I don’t think the first meeting at my book launch registered. I was super busy and nervous, and we barely had time to talk.
The meeting that really mattered happened the next day.
Tell me about this second meeting.
Sarah: It was at Heathrow Airport the day after my book launch. I was flying back to Nigeria and planned to stay for about three months. Demola didn’t want me to leave without seeing me again, so he waited for me at the airport.
It was such a hectic day. I spent almost four hours travelling from the West Midlands to London with two huge suitcases and was already irritated by all the travel-day wahala. We kept texting, and I kept asking him to go home because I wouldn’t get to the airport until 7 p.m. My flight wasn’t until 10 p.m., but I felt he’d be waiting for nothing. When I finally arrived, we grabbed coffee and talked for about an hour before I boarded my flight.
What did you guys talk about?
Sarah: We just went on reestablishing things we already knew about each other. I told him about writing and publishing my book, what I planned to do in Nigeria, and he told me about work and his December plans. I just really enjoyed talking to him. I laughed a lot, and a lot. I suddenly didn’t want to catch my flight.
Demola: I think she really fell for me at the airport.
Was this why you insisted on meeting again before she travelled?
Demola: In a way, yes. As I mentioned earlier, even from just texting, I had a strong feeling that Sarah was my person. I knew the potential for something beautiful was there. Meeting her at the book launch confirmed it. But I also knew that if she flew to Nigeria without us spending proper time together, we’d probably lose the momentum. I didn’t want that; I wanted her that much. And I was right, that second meeting changed everything.
Neat. What happened once you got to Nigeria, Sarah?
Sarah: The wooing became intense. Two days after I arrived, he sent me flowers. A week later, he sent me cake, and it wasn’t even my birthday. We talked from morning till night. Everywhere I went, my face was buried in my phone. Everyone around me asked what kind of lawyer had this much free time.
The more we talked, the deeper things became. We still hadn’t put a label, but I already loved how we saw the world. He didn’t have the typical “women should be submissive” mindset. We agreed on religion, society, politics, and almost everything.
Demola: I’d say she became much more enthusiastic, too. Before long, we were already talking about love and what a future together could look like.
Sarah: I should note that at this point, I was talking to another guy who also lives in the UK. He was in Nigeria for Detty December, and I had plans with him.
Wait, what?
Sarah: Yes. We’d made plans for him to show me around Lagos. But the closer the trip got, the more uneasy I felt.
So I asked Demola.
I said to him very frankly, “I plan to go to Lagos for a week to spend time with this other guy that I’m talking to. Would you be okay with that?”
Demola: I didn’t even know there was another guy until she mentioned it. Normally, I’d have said, “Do whatever you want.” That’s usually how I am. But this time, I couldn’t.
I told her not to go because I really liked her. I even promised that if she waited, I’d take her to Lagos myself the following year and we’d do everything she planned to do with the other guy.
Sarah: That was exactly what I needed to hear. If he had said I should do whatever, it would have ended things for me. I hate nonchalance. The funny thing is, I’d already decided I didn’t want to go. I just wanted to know if he cared enough to fight for me.
Demola: I think it was her way of asking me to show that I was serious.
Sweet. So when did you guys become official?
Sarah: We were already acting like a couple, but I wanted him to actually ask.
Demola: I ended up asking twice — first over a conversation that ended up in her asking when I would ask her. I wanted to do it in person, but Sarah wasn’t having it, so I asked anyway.
Then later, after she’d returned to the UK, I cooked dinner and attempted to write “Be my girlfriend” on a plate with chocolate syrup. It looked terrible.
Sarah: I didn’t think it was pathetic at all. I actually loved it. My Instagram followers thought it was sweet. We became official in December 2025.
Awesome. What were the early days of the relationship like?
Sarah: Things moved very quickly. I’d originally planned to stay in Nigeria for three months because I’d sublet my UK apartment. But the more we talked, the more we started discussing my returning earlier. When I mentioned I wouldn’t have anywhere to stay, he simply suggested that I move in with him.
It sounded completely crazy. We’d only met twice and had known each other for less than two months. Still, something about him made me feel safe enough to take the leap. Against all good advice from family and friends, I bit the bullet and returned to the UK.
Demola: We both knew moving in together so early was unusual, but there was a lot of reassurance on both sides. I told her if living together didn’t work out, I’d still make sure she was okay. But it was still a massive leap of faith for her. Anyone can make promises. Whether they keep them is another matter.
Sarah: Those first weeks of living together were really difficult; definitely not what we both bargained for. The ‘honeymoon’ phase disappeared almost immediately.
I was living with a man I barely knew while dealing with visa issues that meant I couldn’t work. He knew this though; it was part of why I’d returned to Nigeria, to catch a break from UK wahala. I was moody all the time. I became withdrawn. We’d also agreed not to have sex until we were both completely sure, so that wasn’t part of the relationship either. Then my friends started getting into my head.
What were they saying?
Sarah: It was the usual. I was trusting a man I didn’t know. The UK is dangerous, and I had no family here. It was risky to put my life in someone else’s hands. That he’d eventually throw me out because we weren’t sleeping together, and I’d end up stranded and regret leaving Nigeria early.
Meanwhile, Demola was doing everything he could to make me comfortable. I couldn’t cook. I hated house chores. He knew all of that before I moved in, but I still felt guilty watching him cook, clean and take care of me while I lay around feeling miserable. It was like all the love I’d felt disappeared beneath layers of fear. I became angry all the time. I’d shout at him. Whenever we’d argue, I’d threaten to leave even though I had nowhere else to go.
At one point, he even offered to buy me a ticket back to Nigeria or move into a friend’s apartment so I could keep staying in his place until I got mine back.
What was this period like for you, Demola?
Demola: Oh, those days were rough. The excitement died down really quickly. I’d imagined welcoming the woman I loved into my life. Instead, it felt like I was living with someone completely different from the person I’d spent weeks talking to.
We barely had any real conversation. Still, I knew she was struggling, so I focused on making sure she was okay.
I kept reminding her that her work situation wasn’t a problem. Not cooking or doing the house chores wasn’t a problem. None of those things mattered to me. But she still carried herself like she was a burden. She was always quiet and passive, almost as if she felt stranded in my house.
Even my lifelines didn’t help. I offered to send her back to Nigeria, to leave my apartment for her until she got hers. Nothing worked. Eventually, I started wondering whether she’d arrived and realised I wasn’t the person she’d imagined.
Sarah: I should mention that I’d also never lived with a man before, so I was caught between feeling guilty for depending on him and angry that I’d left Nigeria earlier than I wanted. It was a very confusing time for me. I knew I wanted to be with him, but I didn’t know how.
But did you share these worries with Demola?
Sarah: I did. He was very reassuring. He told me over and over that I wasn’t a burden. He spoiled me with gifts. He was eager to make me comfortable. If I so much as smiled at something, he got it for me. We slowly filled the apartment with my things until it started feeling like home. He never stopped looking for solutions. The problem was that none of those things fixed what was happening inside me. I’d be happy one minute, then sink back into sadness the next. Eventually, it affected him too. He started walking on eggshells around me.
Was this why you suggested moving out, Demola?
Demola: Not at all. I just wanted her to be fine. They were safety nets I’d promised in case she arrived, and things were different, and I wanted her to know they still stood.
So how long did this phase last?
Sarah: Almost two months, and winter definitely didn’t help. But somewhere in all of that, I realised I didn’t actually want to leave. Even in those dark times, we still had some good moments. Those moments reinforced why I loved this person and wanted to be with him. I’d never met anyone like him before. He genuinely took care of me. We both wanted the same future. Neither of us wanted children. We both hated the patriarchy. He loved that I was creative, and I loved that he was a lawyer. He cooked and didn’t mind that I didn’t. He was also very reassuring. It was literally my dream man right in front of me. I was determined to fight for us till the end. It was really difficult, but I started to come around.
What changed?
Sarah: I finally recognised my subconscious bias was keeping me in that state. A part of me couldn’t believe I deserved something this good, so I kept waiting for it to be snatched from me. In the end, things started to work out on their own when I began to trust our relationship more. Trust that it was ours, and no matter if it felt too good to be true, I was here now, and I had what I wanted.
Looking back, Demola, what convinced you to keep holding on?
Demola: As she said, we had our good days in between. She’d tell me how much she loved me and how she still wanted us to work. I also made more of an effort to step into her world. We used to joke about having completely different interests, but I started embracing the things she loved. It brought us closer.
Sarah: I always told him exactly what was happening in my head, even when I didn’t understand it myself. I just kept asking him to be patient with me.
Demola: I think we’ve come a long way, and our love is stronger than ever, really. Those first few months taught me silence. I’d always wanted to tell Sarah everything. Back then, I learnt to hold back because it wasn’t the time. Now we’re in a much healthier place, and I’m actually having to unlearn that silence because she wants to share everything with me. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Fair enough. What’s the best thing about being with each other?
Demola: Sarah has made me love life more. That’s the simplest way to say it. I notice things I would have walked past before I met her. My inner child is more alive than it has been in a long time. She has a perspective on the world that I’d genuinely never encountered before, and it has expanded how I think about everything. Being around someone that sharp and original in how they see things makes you want to be a better version of yourself — if only to just to keep up. I am more intentional about what matters to me than I have ever been in my life.
Sarah: Before Demola, I had a lot of fear around men in general. I’m a feminist. I smoke. I have very questionable shopping habits. These are things the average Nigerian man treats as reasons to withhold love or make you feel like you don’t deserve good things. In previous relationships, I felt the pressure to hide parts of myself for fear of being judged very harshly for being who I am.
With Demola, I show up completely as myself. I don’t have to perform anything. My nervous system is calm in a way it has never been. We are together almost all the time, or he is at work, and I have no anxiety about what he is doing. I have never had that with anyone. When my friends try to worry me, I just tell them that my gut being this relaxed is how I know I made the right choice.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?
Demola: 10. We are both committed to being better for each other, and we genuinely just want to see each other happy. She is the most beautiful, most intelligent woman I could ask for.
Sarah: 8. We’re in a good place. The minus two is for the fracture that those early months created, which still shows up sometimes when we quarrel or fight. But we both recognise the problem, and we’re working through it together. We’re a very good team
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
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