For many Nigerian men, friendships are where they find the kind of care, honesty, and support that society often doesn’t allow them to ask for openly. Whether it’s a friend who helps you rewrite your career story or pushes you to take a life-changing chance, these relationships often become the quiet backbone of a man’s life.
Zikoko asked a few men to tell us about the male friendships that changed their lives, and they had some wholesome stories to share.
“He changed the course of my career with his advice” — Tomi*, 30
How did you guys meet?
Fumbi and I met online in 2019 and chatted occasionally, but we weren’t very close. In 2021, I went to check on my new apartment during renovations and ran into him. He turned out to be my upstairs neighbour. We started talking again and clicked instantly. We became so close that it felt like we were flatmates, rather than neighbours. We stayed that way until he passed away in June 2025.
It’s been one of the greatest losses of my life.
I’m sorry. Can you describe an experience that made you realise that he was really your guy?
Too many to count. Even while battling health challenges, he always checked on me, randomly sent lunch or stopped by my workplace just to gist. He was truly like a brother to me. He was a recruiter and guided me through revamping my LinkedIn profile and changing the course of my career. He was that person who uplifted others and encouraged them to be better.
What’s something you learned about love, loyalty or friendship from him?
Before Fumbi, I held grudges easily.. He taught me to let go because you never know when you’ll see someone for the last time. It’s made me a more forgiving person in general, and I will always appreciate him for that.
“He pushed me hard to apply for the scholarship that changed my life” — Dayo*, 29
How did you guys meet?
We met during our A-level studies in 2014 and became inseparable.
Can you describe an experience that made you realise that he was really your guy?
One Sunday in 2022, we were driving around, looking for a football pitch when we saw an ad for a professional programme with a scholarship. I was interested but didn’t want to go through the stress of applying. He pulled me aside and threatened to end our friendship if I didn’t go through with it, so I did. That year-long scholarship introduced me to my future and the community I’m building it with. I don’t know if I would have made that life-changing decision if he hadn’t pushed me to do it.
What’s something you learned about love, loyalty or friendship from him?
Sometimes, being a real friend means pushing your person to do what’s best for them.
“He became my safest space” – Daniel*, 30
How did you guys meet?
Biyi* and I met on Facebook while in university. I was initially friends with his older sister, but he and I built a much stronger bond.
Can you describe an experience that made you realise that he was really your guy?
When he japa-ed, he made sure I could rent his old flat without paying any exorbitant agency and legal fees. I’d just come out of a long stretch of unemployment and was struggling to afford rent. He also left his appliances and furniture behind, so I wouldn’t have to buy them. I knew he was my guy before then, but that act just solidified it for me. It set me up for a softer landing when I moved out of my parents’ house, and I’m forever grateful for it.
Biyi’s also my safest space. I can tell him anything and everything without fear of judgment.
Sweet. What’s something you learned about love, loyalty or friendship from him?
You don’t have to talk to your best friend every day to be sure they have your best interest at heart. I also learned that a true friend should always tell you the truth, even when it may be hard to hear.
“He has never made me feel like a burden” — Akin*, 27
How did you guys meet?
Bayo* and I grew up together as childhood friends. Our parents share the same anniversary. When he moved abroad for school, I thought the distance would change our relationship, but it didn’t. We’ve stayed closed through the years.
Can you describe an experience that made you realise that he was really your guy?
It’s not a particular thing he did, but more about what he’s always doing. He’s a year younger than me. When people tried to compare us after he moved abroad, he defended me every time. He told them I was his brother., Even now, he doesn’t think of himself alone; he always includes me in everything. We constantly discuss our ideas and our plans for the future. I’ve never felt uncomfortable sharing my big dreams with him because he’s never made me feel like a burden, and that’s rare.
What’s something you learned about love, loyalty or friendship from him?
He’s taught me that family isn’t always by blood ties. It’s the people who stay, who show up and who remind you you’re worth choosing.
“He inspired me to overhaul my value system completely” — Banji*, 30
How did you guys meet?
Yinka* and I met on the church steps ten years ago when I was still religious. He wore an outfit with clashing colours, and I joked about fixing his sense of style. Instead of being upset, he actually found it really funny, and that’s how we became friends.
Can you describe an experience that made you realise that he was really your guy?
From the start, he was always open and honest. Even though we attended different universities, we still travelled to visit each other whenever we could. I really liked that about us. Our friendship made me completely re-evaluate my value system. Yinka made me uncomfortable telling lies, even about the smallest things. Once, we were late to church and I’d planned to blame it on traffic. When a pastor asked, and I lied as planned, Yinka shut it down and admitted that we had just mismanaged our time, which made us late. I was a bit embarrassed, and I felt betrayed that he would out us like that.
But when I spoke to him about it later, he firmly stated that there was never a good reason to lie and that if we told the truth, what was the worst that could happen? It taught me to always be honest and expect honesty from others.
What’s something you learned about love, loyalty or friendship from him?
He taught me one of the most important lessons: how to navigate difficult conversations. Many male friendships suffer from poor communication, but not with Yinka. Because of him, I’ve learned how to express myself even when it’s uncomfortable, and I’m a much better person for it.
Help Shape Nigeria’s Biggest Love Report! We’re asking Nigerians about relationships, marriage, sex, money, and everything in between. Your anonymous answers will become a landmark report on modern Nigerian love. Click here to take the survey. It’s 100% anonymous.
Here’s Your Next Read: Nigerian Women on Their Life-Changing Female Friendships
