The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
How long have you been with your partner?
Tayo* and I started dating in March, so that’s about six months.
How did you both meet?
We met at a career event. I’m usually a shy person, but everyone says it’s important for professionals to network. So, I deliberately approached people at that event; Tayo was one of them. Our conversation was so smooth and funny, I forgot how to be shy.
Haha. Love to see it
We talked about everything from annoying LinkedIn posts to our favourite movies. After the event, we exchanged numbers and continued the conversation on WhatsApp.
Two weeks later, he invited me out for a movie and ice cream date. He asked me to be his girlfriend after the date. I said yes with a quickness. Our relationship is hands down the best I’ve ever had. We’re so in sync; we talk about every single thing and share similar values.
Plus, Tayo is such a fine man. I look at him sometimes and giggle to myself. Hard girl like me.
It goes both ways, too. I can tell he dotes on me. I just feel really lucky. I still can’t believe I found love the one time I managed to drag myself out of the house.
Shots fired at home bodies. What kind of money conversations do you have?
We’re pretty open with our finances. One of the key points we took away from the career event we attended together was the importance of being open about one’s income as a creative or young professional, so we know what’s attainable and do not undervalue ourselves.
Tayo and I work with clients; he works in marketing and freelances frequently, while I often work with different people as a virtual assistant. From day one, a recurring conversation topic between us was how we charged for services and negotiated rates.
Tayo earns far more than I do — at least ₦800k/ month — and he’s mastered the art of pitching and landing foreign clients. So, he’s my unofficial career coach. We’re always talking about how I can enhance my professional brand and increase my income. He edits and proofreads my pitches and is my sounding board for negotiations.
I landed my first foreign client two months after we started dating and earned $800 for the one month I worked with that client. Tayo has taught me how to push for more, and I’m confident I’ll get even more dollar-paying clients soon.
Energy
On the other hand, I’m also helping Tayo with his spending habits. He can be an impulsive spender, but since we both talk about our incomes and expenses, I can caution him on certain moves. As a firm believer in saving, I’m proud to say I’ve influenced Tayo to take his savings journey more seriously since we started dating.
In a way, we’re helping each other reach our financial goals. For me, it’s to make more money, and for him, it’s to manage his money better. We’re getting there slowly and surely.
It’s honestly giving power couple. About those savings, what do your safety nets look like?
I save at least ₦50k monthly and currently have ₦800k saved. It’s even low because I dipped into it to repair my laptop a few weeks ago. Tayo now saves between ₦100k – ₦150k monthly. He only got consistent with it about three months ago, so his portfolio is still under ₦500k.
We’re studying investment options because he has the capital for it, and investments are a better way to grow wealth. We’re currently in between stocks, crypto and real estate. We might do all three, just at different amounts.
I notice you’re saying “we”. Are you considering joint investments?
We haven’t actually discussed that. I guess I’m just using “we” because we’re both fully involved in the process. Who knows? Perhaps when we settle on an investment option and cadence, we can pool our money together.
Let’s talk about gifts and dates. How does that work in your relationship?
I’m still a homebody, so I’m mostly content with hanging out at his place while he cooks or orders food. When we manage to leave the house and go somewhere, Tayo handles the expenses.
We recently celebrated our six-month anniversary with a two-day staycation in Lagos. I booked and paid for the train tickets (about ₦15k for the return trip) and also covered some of the cab rides we took in Lagos. Tayo handled the hotel room, food and other expenses. I think those came down to approximately ₦500k.
I also gifted him some t-shirts and a pair of shoes for our anniversary, which cost me ₦65k. His gift to me was a pair of slippers I’d been eyeing since forever and a surprise ₦100k alert. I was legit shocked about that one. He said, “I didn’t like that your name wasn’t showing up in my debit history, so I wanted to fix it.”
In my head, I was like, “Is that how you relationship people use to do?” It’s crazy because now I’m thinking about how to shock him with money, too.
Romance is not dead o. Out of curiosity, have you both discussed a future together?
Oh definitely. I must marry this boy and make him my baby daddy.
You’re killing me. Any idea how you’ll both run your home?
It’ll still be an extension of what we currently do. We’ll be open about our incomes and handle expenses together. Tayo will take the lead, but I’ll still pitch in. It’s our money, so we should enjoy the best quality of lives our joint incomes can afford.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
We’ve talked about owning multiple properties together to earn passive income while we focus on other things. That’s the ideal future.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
NEXT READ: We Live in Different Countries, and My Husband Doesn’t Trust Me With Money
