Christina* (25) and David* (26) met in 2018 and spent years as close friends before crossing the line into something more. But what began as a mix of friendship and romance soon exposed secrets, tested loyalties, and clashing values that eventually pulled them apart. In this article, they talk about their relationship and what led them to split up.
This is Christina and David’s story as shared with Mofiyinfoluwa
Christina: We met through a mutual friend in 2018. We were all preparing to enter uni, and I tagged along to a tutorial. Honestly, I didn’t rate David at first. I’d heard about his messy love triangle with two girls in the group, which coloured my impression. I befriended one of the girls and naturally took her side.
David: That so-called love triangle was exaggerated. I wasn’t dating or playing anyone. They were just crushes within the group, and I tried not to take sides so it wouldn’t distract from our studies.
Christina: Either way, he wasn’t someone I saw romantically. I make friends easily, so he was just another buddy. Still, we started hanging out more. By the time we got into the same school in 2019, he’d become my best friend.
David: My feelings shifted about eight months in. If we didn’t talk for a day, I felt incomplete. That’s when I knew I liked her. But I kept it to myself because I didn’t want to risk the friendship. When I finally told her in 2020, she turned me down.
Christina: Even after that, it was strictly platonic for me. I’ve always had a lot of male friends, and David was just one of them. He was also dating someone at the time who didn’t like how close we were. To avoid problems, I even told him we had to reduce how much we talked.
David: That was hard because I valued our friendship too much. I managed to suppress my feelings until around 2021. Christina has never been big on physical boundaries, and we’d playfully touch or hold each other. Over time, those little moments started meaning more to me, even though she’d also gotten into a relationship.
Christina: Maybe I had unconscious feelings too, but I was focused on not proving his girlfriend right. To me, David was just my guy.
Then, one night, everything changed after a fight with my boyfriend. The relationship had been rocky for a while, and I’d already checked out mentally. I called David to calm me down, and he suggested drinks at his place. After too many shots, we had sex.
David: We were both vulnerable that night. I’d just found out my girlfriend cheated, and even though I’d been suppressing my attraction to Christina, we connected over the mess in our relationships.
Christina: The next morning, my boyfriend apologised, but his action only confused me. My bigger worry was David. I felt like I’d ruined our friendship by crossing boundaries. I panicked and ran off to stay with a friend in Lagos for a few weeks.
David: She ignored me for days. Even after she returned, the tension was there. I felt like if we weren’t moving forward into something real, we couldn’t go back to the way things were.
Christina: David actually asked if we could date, but I refused. My boyfriend was still in the picture, and I was scared of losing David’s friendship if things went wrong.
But as things got more awkward and my feelings grew, I eventually called him and told him we could date if the offer still stood. By then, months had passed, and he downgraded what we shared to a situationship.
David: At the time, I’d officially broken up with my ex. I’d processed my feelings and knew I wasn’t ready for another serious relationship. I liked Christina too much to make her a rebound. Even if she describes it as a situationship, I don’t think that was the case. It was more of a “let’s see how things go before making it official.”
Christina: On December 31st, 2021, we sealed it. I loved that we could have it all — best friends, but a couple also hooking up. It felt like a sweet way to end the year.
David: We just slipped into a rhythm. She’d come over to my place almost every day, and we’d spend time together. It felt like the best of both worlds.
Christina: We were great, but little issues piled up over time. Because it was a situationship, I didn’t feel I had the right to complain. Still, I didn’t like that he hid our relationship from his friends. Once, he even stepped outside to take a call, and even though I complained about it, I kept thinking, “Do I even have the right to be upset?”
David: Until she said something, I didn’t realise she had a problem with our arrangement. In my mind, we were a couple. I treated her like a girlfriend and only kept things low-key because I didn’t want my guys to judge her unfairly. It was about controlling the narrative, not denying her.
Christina: My own friends knew about him, but they didn’t like him. They compared him to my ex, especially physically. David wasn’t cool with them either and tried to pressure me to cut them off.
I never had issues with his friends, until one day, while using his phone, I discovered he’d been discussing my personal family issues with a female friend. When I confronted him, he locked the chat. That broke my trust.
David: I’ll admit I messed up there. I wasn’t trying to disrespect her. That friend didn’t understand why Christina was sometimes cold to people, so I tried to explain the situation using things she’d confided in me. I locked the chat afterwards for privacy, but I can see how it looked bad.
Christina: It became one of those things I couldn’t let go of. I was especially uneasy about his friendship with her because David and I had started out the same way.
Another issue was his constant pressure for me to cook for him, even though I repeatedly said I hated cooking.
David: I grew up in a home where food was central to relationships, so it became one of my love languages. If we were thinking about a future together, it mattered to me that she could feed our family. I wasn’t asking her to cook every day, just regularly. But our arguments made me start doubting if we could work long-term. Her refusal felt like stubbornness.
Christina: Doing something I hated just to prove my love felt like slavery. The fact that it became a dealbreaker for him made me feel unappreciated. I’d already compromised in other ways. For example, I’m very outgoing, but I toned that side of myself down for him. I even quit my job at a club because he wasn’t comfortable with it. Yet when it came to cooking, he couldn’t bend for me.
From then on, I noticed his attitude changed. As our first anniversary approached, we’d planned to spend New Year’s Eve together, but at the last minute, he cancelled because his friends were coming over. I felt so disrespected that he put them over me.
David: I handled that situation badly. It was last-minute, and I didn’t think it through. My communication was poor, but I tried to make it up to her.
Christina: That was his pattern. Anytime we had issues, he’d apologise and then love-bomb me with sweet messages and extra attention, only to slip back into the same habits once I softened. It felt manipulative.
David: I never saw it as manipulation; it was self-correction. I notice when I mess up and try to change. But I admit, habits are hard to unlearn.
Christina: Our biggest fight happened mid-2023. He made a birthday post of that same friend — the one whose chat he’d locked— and captioned it “Nobody can come between our friendship.” Considering my issues with her, it felt like a direct shot at me.
I didn’t confront him because I knew he would deny it. Instead, I pulled back. We stopped sleeping together. I posted heartbreak memes, and he responded indirectly on his statuses. It all felt childish. By the end of the year, I blocked him everywhere.
David: That caption had nothing to do with Christiana. If she suspected something, she could’ve just asked me. But her friends stirred things up, and she kept reading meanings into everything I posted.
It hurt when she blocked me without a word, but I let go for her peace. However, I created a parody Snapchat account just to see how she was doing.
Christina: If he cared that much, why didn’t he reach out directly? He just doesn’t want to admit that, even before I blocked him, he’d already checked out because he was secretly cheating with his current girlfriend.
David: To be clear, we weren’t physical when I was with Christina. But I admit it doesn’t make emotional cheating acceptable. By the time I started seeing her, Christina and I had already stopped sleeping together. With how cold she’d become, this new person felt like a safe escape from stress. But I admit I should’ve handled the overlap better.
Christina: I didn’t even know he was cheating when I blocked him. I only found out months later through screenshots from his girlfriend’s mutual friend. It hurt me, but by then we were done. What frustrated me most was that he never fully took responsibility.
David: Being blocked without explanation felt like a verdict without a trial. Even after she unblocked me earlier this year and we talked about the past, I still believe we could’ve worked things out if she’d let us talk first.
Christina: I started the year with a resolution to forgive people who had hurt me, and David was somewhere on that list. I realised I was wrong to cut him off the way I did. That was why I reached out to him, even though he is still in a relationship that caused me pain.
I’m trying my best to keep things civil and not slip back into our old friendship. If we did, we might end up falling into the same patterns, and there’s no point trying again if the same issues that ended us would still be there.
David: I believe we can stay friends, especially since my relationship is solid. But I don’t believe in impossibilities, so I understand her fears. I don’t think we would face the same problems if we ever got back together. In the two years we spent apart, I matured and learned about my excesses.
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