This article is part of Had I Known, Zikoko’s theme for September 2025, where we explore Nigerian stories of regret and the lessons learnt. Read more Had I Known stories here.
Semilore* (22) was still grieving the death of his ex-girlfriend and wasn’t ready for a new relationship when he met Janet*. At first, he simply went along with her affection, but when she broke up with him over her insecurities, he vowed to take revenge.
But Semiloore realised too late that he had lost something he cherished. Now, with regrets he can’t undo, he’s learning to live with the scar of what he did, and the love he lost.
This is Semiloore’s story as told to Betty:
I still remember the day Janet and I first spoke.
It was a rainy morning in June 2023. I was hunched over my laptop, finishing a graphic design project, when a message popped up on WhatsApp from an unknown number: “Hey!”
I assumed it was a potential client, so I responded politely. She sent back a voice note introducing herself, but she didn’t say how she got my number. Later, I found out she’d gotten it from a mutual friend. We got along pretty quickly, and before I knew it, chatting with her became part of my daily routine.
At the time, I wasn’t looking for a new connection. My ex, Aisha*, had passed away in December 2022. When she died, it felt like my heart died with her, so I wasn’t searching for love or even open to it.
But Janet was consistent. She texted me every day, sharing memes, reels and little bits of her life. She would occasionally flirt with me, and I’d playfully flirt back. Sometimes, she’d even ask me for romantic advice about other guys, but it was clear she was trying to see how I felt about her.
For me, it was harmless fun. That was until July 2023, when she asked me to be her boyfriend.
I was shocked. We had never met in person because I was schooling in Lagos while Janet lived in my home state of Ondo, so I didn’t see her or her attraction to me as “real.” I remember leaving the message unreplied for a few hours because I didn’t know how to let her down gently.
My plan was to say no outright because I didn’t feel the same way about her, but when I told my roommate about it, he advised me to just go with the flow. So, against my better judgment, I said yes.
The beginning of our relationship was shaky. Things went from warm and friendly to awkward overnight. I worried that Janet would sense that I didn’t really have feelings for her, but she never mentioned it. Instead, she showered me with attention.
She would call and send check-in messages every morning and night. I would try to respond, but the truth is, I didn’t match her energy. I couldn’t.
Then came the first time she told me she loved me. I froze. Saying it back felt like a lie too big to tell, so I ignored it. But a few weeks later, I gave in and sent her a text saying “I love you” just to make her happy. It worked a bit too well.
She called me right away, breathless, and asked me to repeat it. I knew then that I had gone too far.
She was on cloud nine for a week after that, so I had to keep up the act, meeting all her “I love yous” with automatic “I love you toos”.
Then in August 2023, we finally met in person. I had come home from school for treatment because I was ill, but my mum had to go away for a few nights, so I invited Janet over.
When I saw her, my jaw dropped. We had exchanged photos, but none of them did her justice. She was slim, dark-skinned and gorgeous, and when she hugged me on my street, I could feel every eye on us.
That day, we talked and made out, but we didn’t go all the way because she was on her period. Three days later, I invited her over again, and this time, we got intimate. After she left, I realised that, although it took time, I now had real feelings for Janet.
One of my favourite memories of our relationship was her birthday in October 2023.
When I asked what to get her, she said all she wanted was for us to spend the day together as a couple. I’m introverted and felt a whole day would be too emotionally demanding, so I initially said no. But after she begged, I decided to indulge her. I went to pick her up with a photographer friend to take pictures of her in different outfits.
I was bored at first, but Janet’s excitement was infectious. By the time she changed into her second outfit for the photoshoot, I was just as excited as she was. She looked so beautiful, and every time she would come to show me her outfit, my heart would beat a little faster.
On our way home, after we dropped off the photographer, she held my hand and prayed for me the entire ride home. She was so happy, and that made me feel warm and happy too. Even now, I smile whenever I think about that day.
But everything changed when I went back to school. Suddenly, we were a long-distance couple again. At first, we both tried to maintain the closeness we had built in person, but after a while, Janet switched up.
She became really insecure and would pick fights with me if I missed any of her calls or replied to her messages late. At first, I tried to explain that I was caught up with schoolwork, but she didn’t believe me. She was convinced I was sleeping with other girls, but nothing was further from the truth.
One night, she called while I was studying with a group. A female coursemate spoke in the background, and Janet went silent. She didn’t speak to me for days after that. In just three months, the relationship went from something I had begun to desire to one I wanted to abandon as quickly as possible.
When I went home in December 2024 for the holidays, we made up. It seemed like she just needed me to reassure her, but things returned to being bad when I resumed my schoolwork in January.
By June 2025, I was deep in exam season and under immense pressure. One night, right before a tough paper, Janet broke up with me. I couldn’t read or sleep that night, and I failed the exam the next day.
Two days later, she texted me saying that she couldn’t breathe without me and asked if I was willing to get back together. I said yes, not because I had any warm feelings left for her, but because I saw an opportunity to have my revenge. My roommates and I planned what I would do.
I cheated on Janet and told her all about it. I also said many hurtful things to her, things I knew would hurt her the way that she’d hurt me. I didn’t expect to feel bad afterwards, but I felt terrible. We broke up, and Janet completely withdrew from me. A week after I had my ‘revenge,’ I realised too late that I had ruined a good thing.
I haven’t tried to reach out to her, but I heard from Janet’s friends that she is no longer the person she used to be. Since we split up, her behaviour has gotten more erratic and reckless. I heard her parents tried to intervene, but they are now fed up. I think this negative change is my fault, and I wish I hadn’t hurt her the way I did. I miss her laughter, and I miss her checking in on me every day.
I’ve tried dating other people to get over Janet, but I can’t take them seriously because they’re not her. I pray that God forgives me for what I did and that we both find a way to move on from each other. I don’t see myself getting over her in the next five years, though. I think Janet is a wound in my heart that will take a long time to fully heal.
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