Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.
Abba*, 26, thought he’d found stability at last with Cynthia* (25), but when his suspicions were stirred, a single choice to snoop through her phone left him questioning not just her loyalty but his own insecurities.
When you’re done reading, you’ll get to decide: Did he fuck up, or not?
This is Abba’s predicament, as shared with Mofiyinfoluwa:
Being with Cynthia feels like a dream come true. After a messy breakup with a cheating ex, I never thought I’d find love again, let alone with someone as stunning and outgoing as her. Half the time, I’m still surprised she chose me. I’ve always seen myself as just an average guy, and women like her have always felt out of my league.
For the most part, our relationship has been good. We’ve been together for six months now, but one thing kept gnawing at me: how glued she is to her phone. Whenever I asked about it, she’d brush me off and quickly put the phone away. I tried to let it go, but the unease kept building until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
One weekend, while we were curled up together waiting for our food delivery, I asked her to pick it up downstairs. The moment the door clicked shut behind her, I grabbed her phone, unlocked it, and went straight to WhatsApp.
At first, it looked harmless, just colleagues, friends and random groups. Then I opened her chat with a Mr. Richard*, and my stomach dropped. His messages were bold, almost intimate. He sent texts like “I want to hold you”, “What are you wearing to bed tonight?” and kept pressing to meet up. Cynthia’s replies weren’t as suggestive, but she had not blocked him either. Sometimes she even texted first. From the looks of it, this had been going on for weeks.
My hands shook as I clicked on another chat, this time with a Mr. Don*. They had only just started talking, but he was already flirting with her, and she was laughing at his jokes, sending playful stickers in response. I felt my body go cold.
Cynthia walked in and caught me holding her phone. My voice was raised when I confronted her, and I could hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. She was furious that I went through her phone at all, and insisted these men were clients she needed to meet her real estate marketing target. Entertaining them was simply part of the job. She even admitted to meeting some of them in person, though always in public.
To be fair, none of her replies were outright incriminating. I knew her work required talking to clients, but I never imagined it would cross into such personal, boundaryless conversations. She didn’t have to indulge them, and she definitely didn’t need to start chats that had nothing to do with business.
She flipped it back on me. To her, the real issue wasn’t the chats but the fact that I didn’t trust her and crossed a line by snooping through her phone. She demanded I promise never to do it again. That felt unfair. I told her I wouldn’t care if she went through mine because I have nothing to hide. But shouldn’t her behaviour, the very thing that made me suspicious in the first place, also be up for discussion?
She stormed out that night, and it’s been almost two weeks since we last spoke. In that silence, I’ve been replaying every moment. Maybe my insecurities did get the best of me, but it feels like she never tried to understand where I was coming from.
My friends made a joke out of it, saying I need to “get my money up” if I don’t want to lose her to those richer men. I brushed it aside, but their words still sting. I want to believe she sees these men as nothing more than clients, that she wouldn’t cross the line. But how can I ever be sure?
Now I’m left wondering: am I the bad guy for checking her phone? Or is she just shifting the blame to avoid accountability?
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