The corporate world is a jungle full of tight deadlines, silent beefs, and coworkers who make the office feel like a battleground. We recently asked these Nigerians to share their wildest experiences with petty coworkers and how they handled the madness.
Just like in “Close of Business,” GOtv’s drama that captures all the chaos, ambition, and pettiness of working in corporate Nigeria, these stories prove that your real enemy might just be seated across from you.
“She wanted me to be afraid of her” – Deja*, 29, F
Deja* got a new boss at her workplace who demanded unrealistic reverence, so she stopped greeting her altogether.
“At my last workplace, I got a new boss who constantly mistreated me even though I was trying to impress her. One day, I went to her office to ask what I could do to improve our relationship, and she said she didn’t like me because I wasn’t scared of her.
She told me she wanted me shaking with fear every time she walked into the office, and that was the only way she’d see I respected her. I was too dumbfounded to respond, and I stopped greeting her after that. I feared she’d give me a bad grade during my appraisals, but thankfully, she got sacked a month before they started.”
“He wouldn’t stop stealing my lunch” — Dami*, 26, F
Dami* dealt with a coworker who constantly stole her lunch by setting up a nasty surprise for him.
“I used to have an agbaya coworker who loved stealing my lunch. Even when I told him I didn’t like it, he would say he preferred home-cooked meals to takeout and would try to buy me food as compensation.
When I noticed he wouldn’t listen to my warnings, I decided to teach him a lesson. I made fish stew with boiled eggs and rice, and left it in my car overnight. The next day, I tied it up with a nylon, stuck a “Don’t touch” note on it and put it in the office fridge. Sure as rain, he went there and opened it. Hearing his reaction was priceless. That was the last time he touched my food.”
“She kept trying to pull the age card” – Tola*, 25, M
Tola* shares his experience dealing with a coworker who couldn’t stand that he was younger than her.
“We recently hired a new joiner at my current workplace. We had a smooth relationship at first until she discovered I was much younger than her. Once I give her instructions or directives, she says things like, “See this small boy,” and either delays or doesn’t do the tasks at all.
I dismissed it as a joke at first, but it got worse. I tried talking to her about it, but she brushed me off, saying she had younger siblings who were older than me. So, I reported her to HR, and they issued her a query. That was all I needed to get her to respect me and do her job. It was a very annoying phase.”
If you want to enjoy more office drama, you can catch Close of Business every Monday to Wednesday at 8:30 PM on Africa Magic Showcase, GOtv Channel 8.
“I made him look silly at stand-up” — Tiwa*, 29, F
Tiwa* had enough of a senior colleague who kept stealing her ideas at brainstorm meetings, so she set him up to look dumb at the next one.
“I was super excited to land my dream job with a marketing team after I completed NYSC. . But one of my senior colleagues quickly ruined my excitement. Every Monday, he asked me for campaign ideas we were working on, and I would pour my heart into them. Then, during Wednesday meetings, he would present my best ideas like they were his.
This continued for months until I’d had enough. One Monday, I submitted a list of my dumbest ideas. By Wednesday, when he presented them, everyone went quiet and looked at him like he had grown a second head. I raised my hand and gave my actual ideas, and my boss complimented me for the first time since I joined.
My scorned colleague sent a nasty email afterwards, and I cc-ed HR immediately. He got fired, while I stayed on for six more months before switching to a better job. I have zero regrets. Stealing my ideas without credit or appreciation was crazy.”
“She wanted me to play only gospel music at work.” — Halima*, 28, F*
Halima*’s coworker tried to police her music during quiet mornings, but she met her match.
“At my former job, I loved coming in early to enjoy some quiet before the madness of the day began. I’d play afrobeats softly on my Bluetooth speaker; nothing loud or disruptive. I always turned it off before official work hours. It was my little routine.
Then my seatmate moved closer to the office and started coming in early too. A few days in, she told me my ‘secular music’ was bringing ‘negative energy’ into the space. She suggested I switch to gospel music instead but I ignored her.
Next thing I heard was that she reported me to HR for playing music on the premises. HR dismissed it since I always stopped before work officially began. But after that? I made sure I played my music a little louder in the mornings when she came in.
If my music was going to disturb her spirit, I decided it might as well shake it.”
See what people are saying about this article on Instagram
If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: 5 Nigerians on the Teacher Who Changed Their Lives
