I’m a social butterfly. I make friends everywhere I go, and while that’s usually a good thing, I’ve noticed some disadvantages in the past year: the damage to my bank account. Between August 2024 and July 2025, I attended 12 weddings and was an aso-ebi girl for 8 of them.
For context, an aso-ebi girl is a bridesmaid who wears coordinated outfits with the other ladies/bridesmaids on the bridal train to signify their close ties with the bride. It’s a standard in Nigerian Yoruba weddings. I wasn’t close friends with all 8 brides, but everyone knows you don’t have to be super close to someone before you can ask them to join your bridal party.
As a Yoruba babe, the larger your entourage of aso-ebi girls, the more colourful your wedding. Plus, you get more people to create TikTok content with and have a lit reception entrance. Most of the aso-ebi invitations were from friends, mutual friends, church members and work colleagues. I like to show up for people. I like turning up at weddings and parties even more, but I might have gone overboard with the “turning up” this past year.
I want to make better financial decisions, so I may not take up all the invitations I receive moving forward. But first, let’s go over the damage of the past 8 weddings.
First Wedding
This was my best friend’s wedding, and it was so important to me. I’d been part of their love story since uni, so I took their union personally.
The wedding was a three-day affair: registry, traditional, and church. I wasn’t just an aso-ebi girl; I also doubled as the chief bridesmaid for the church wedding.
This is honestly what I can remember because I sprayed money at the wedding. I must have spent a fortune on transportation to and fro Balogun market, helping my friend with purchases and looking for materials. I also bought her a bridal crown and some accessories for her bridal shower, but I don’t remember the cost. In the end, it was worth it. My friend had a good time, and I did, too.
Second Wedding
How I became an aso-ebi girl at this wedding was quite interesting. The bride was one of the aso-ebi girls at my best friend’s wedding. I knew her from a distance in uni, but we never interacted until we both joined the bridesmaids’ WhatsApp group. We met a few times to help my best friend with the market runs and the surprise bridal shower plan, so we became cordial. From there, we started commenting on each other’s status updates and chatting occasionally.
A few weeks after my best friend’s wedding, this bride sent me her wedding invitation. I called to congratulate her, and she chipped in that she’d like me to be one of her aso-ebi girls. Apparently, she liked my energy at my best friend’s wedding and wanted me to be part of her big day. I thought, “Why not?” At least the clothes I’d buy would be mine. Plus, I’d get to have fun. So, I agreed.
Thankfully, her wedding was low-key, so I didn’t have to spend much.
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Third Wedding
This was my office bestie’s wedding. I don’t think she officially asked me to join her aso-ebi girls. You know how friends comment, “We have a wedding to plan!” after their friend posts proposal pictures online? That’s how it happened. Instead of just office gist, we started gisting about her wedding plans.
One day, the gist extended to the colours she was considering for the day, and she said, “What do you think of pink? You’ll be wearing pink as part of the aso-ebi.” That’s how I became an aso-ebi girl again.
I also sprayed money at this wedding, but I can’t remember how much. On the plus side, the bride’s uncle sprayed me $200, so I recouped my money in a way.
Fourth Wedding
I didn’t enjoy the aso-ebi girl experience at this wedding for several reasons. First off, the other ladies on the bridal train were really somehow. I kept wondering if they were the bride’s friends because they dragged everything on the bridesmaids group: from the style of lace to how much each person was willing to part with. One lady even said, “Must we buy gele? I don’t have money for gele.” Like, which aso-ebi girl doesn’t wear gele?
That aside, I was broke. It was a church member’s wedding, and I’d been aware of the wedding for months (even before weddings 2 and 3). However, my phone had issues around this time, and my account was red. But I’d already agreed to be a bridesmaid, and I couldn’t back out. I ended up borrowing ₦60k from a friend to meet up. I really hated resorting to a loan, but I had no choice.
Fifth Wedding
I’ll admit I overdid myself at this wedding. A mutual friend was getting married to a big name in society, and I volunteered to join the aso-ebi because I wanted to experience the paparazzi.
I also work in asset management, and I thought the event would help me meet richer people and expand my network. I may also have been hoping to find a sugar daddy, but I digress.
Sixth Wedding
At this point, I was in an average of two bridesmaids’ WhatsApp groups simultaneously and wondered how I got myself into that mess. The only way I can explain it is that I’m now at an age where almost everyone I know is getting married. Will I take that as a sign? Heck no.
Anyway, this was another work colleague’s wedding. What can I say? I’m popular at my office.
Seventh Wedding
This was my cousin’s wedding, and I spent less than usual because the aso-ebi material was free, and my aunt helped me sew it. My other cousin did my makeup for free, and I received a selfie light as a souvenir for this wedding. It might have been my favourite wedding all year.
Eighth Wedding
The craziest thing about this wedding was that the couple added me to a “Friends of the couple” group. The group’s purpose was to raise money to support them. I thought that was wild because I’m already on your bridal train.
I didn’t contribute any money, and the bride has been acting coldly. The wedding happened some weeks ago, so I’ll just assume she’s still on her honeymoon. Let me wait before jumping to conclusions.
Bottom Line
In total, I spent ₦1,689,000 on eight weddings. I know I spent a lot, but seeing the cold, hard fact is really humbling. The worst part is, there are hidden costs I can’t remember. The silver lining is I always rewear my aso-ebi outfits to church during Thanksgiving Sundays, so I didn’t completely waste money.
Will I stop accepting aso-ebi girl invitations? Probably not. But I intend to reduce it to the bare minimum: only close friends.
I also have a plan to help me become more financially conscious. When I get an invite, I’ll estimate how much the aso-ebi would likely cost and put the money in a savings app instead. It’ll be difficult to enforce because I still love going outside, but I’ll have to try. It’s time to be serious.
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