If you don’t know what Nigerians Talk is, you probably use YouTube for all the wrong things. On Nigerians Talk, we give everyday Nigerians a chance to talk about things they are passionate about. We hand them the microphone and close the studio door behind us as we leave the room. There’s only one rule: leave your filters outside the studio door.
What we get is the best thing since jollof and sixteen minutes of rib-cracking conversations. We made a list of the top five most hilarious things we heard on the latest episode of Nigerians Talk.
The Chicken Republic date debate
Does Chicken Republic really count as a date? To Moses, our only male guest, there is something incredibly romantic about hearing ‘nice-nice’ in the background while eating ChickWizz with the love of your life. He says we have stigmatised Chicken Republic dates as a nation.
“If chicken Republic is fast food, then what is now a good date, then, a slow-food date?”
The ‘Stewed-Ponmo’ guy v. Budweiser babe moment
To Dumebi, one of our guests (cue visible frustration), a low-income man dating a high-income woman is the same as a local beer parlour get-together trying to fit in at a Budweiser event.
“…this guy is saying if he wants to watch football he goes straight to one beer parlor on his street that they are serving stewed ponmo but if you’re going to watch a football match you’re going to go to somewhere Budweiser is hosting the event…What are two of you doing together?”
The Bag a Cuppy with a Toyota school of thought
(*cue slight offence on behalf of DJ Cuppy)
On the male ego and dating, Fisayo tries to corner Moses by asking if he’s one of the men who subscribe to the idea that he can bag a Cuppy with a Toyota. In turn, Moses says he’ll stick to women who won’t give him high blood pressure.
“…(shakes his head in horror) If I was looking for a Cuppy, I would try to measure up to a Cuppy before I try to toast a Cuppy.”
Lamborghini in exchange for National Spermatozoa
To Dumebi, the concept of a providing man is a scam; men often exercise control and make up for their faults by spending insane amounts of money.
“He’s earning and he’s a provider but he is panel beating you… but he has children everywhere, spreading his spermatozoa to the whole nation.”
Home-made Eba as a romantic gesture
Moses says dating within your income bracket will save your life. He says you shouldn’t pressure yourself to do more than you can for a romantic interest, and that women who say yes to Chicken Republic dates only because they like you will get tired in the long run. Ultimately, women with expensive tastes will deplete you.
“Date the girl that wouldn’t mind eating eba that you cooked yourself don’t let anybody pressure you…my brother, run o, don’t ”
It only gets even better from here on, and this is only the first episode. This season, we’ll be talking about money, love, sex and everything in between. Stay tuned!
Next read: Everything We Love About the Women of Her
