In Nigeria, celebrity culture is not just entertainment. It’s a lifestyle, a battleground, and sometimes a religion. Whether it’s musicians, actors, or influencers, once someone claims to be a fan, it can be literally ride-or-die from that point on.
And in this country? People are always ready to die on a hill with passion that runs too hot. Emotions are always extra, and nothing is small-small. Passion can spiral into fights, breakups, and full-blown gbas gbos, all over someone that might not even know you exist.
In an interview with Zikoko, Olatunji* talks to me about a petty fight he had with an ex over a Nigerian celebrity, how it affected their love life and made him reevaluate his relationship with celebrity and stan culture
This is Olatunji’s story as told to Marv.
There are two important details to help you understand where I am coming from. The first is that I work in music as a producer. The second is that I enjoy taking morning walks. But even more so, I loved speaking to my girlfriend —well, now my ex-girlfriend—on the phone while I took them.
Three years ago, we were an item. I loved her, and she loved me back. Until one of those phone calls put a crack in our relationship. One minuscule and unnecessary argument happened, and things changed.
I was heading home after my morning walk, and we were talking as we have always done. Then Davido’s 30 Billion Gang came up. I can’t remember the exact details of what had happened now, but it was one of those incidents where someone in Davido’s camp tweeted a sub at someone in another camp. It could have been Wizkid or Burna Boy. Sometimes, those are not what matters when you’re hurt. At the time, I genuinely didn’t care for it because I felt Davido could do better to caution his camp to stop throwing stones and hiding their hands.
At some point, my ex couldn’t stand that I was against 30BG. I was bothered that the argument would go too far, and I didn’t want that because I really liked her and cared about her feelings. But I found her hypocrisy of not holding her fave accountable alarming and hilarious. So, I held on to my point that I simply didn’t care about Davido and what his team did.
I kept saying that and it pissed her off so much. She flared up. Then, the argument became a bit heated and in an attempt to clap back, she said that I was not as big as Davido. While that’s true, it was a mean thing to say to me, knowing that I also work in music as a producer and am good AF at it. But I wasn’t very pissed.
I didn’t think much of her awful statement and considered it banter. Love is blind, I guess. Understandably, she is an obsessed fan. I was aware of this, but somehow, what was supposed to be our random personal conversation became a rift over a celebrity, and it boggled my mind. I wondered why people who weren’t in our relationship were causing that kind of lashing out.
Although I laughed throughout the fight, it felt personal and more than just an argument over a celebrity. The whole argument lasted for only five minutes, but during those minutes, I felt like an opp. We went back and forth, and then she hung up on me. Even after that, I kept on laughing. It was that hilarious.
What followed was four hours of complete silence—the classic silent treatment. The tension died down in the fifth hour, and we were in a calmer headspace to talk again. We had a conversation—I begged her because Yoruba women are the queens of gaslighting. In my defence, I told her that I found it funny and it was just a joke. She accepted the apology, but that was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I remember she said a day before that fight that it had been ages since we quarrelled. And boom, that thing happened the next morning. A five-minute call dented a five-month relationship.
The attraction was there, but we saw a lot of things differently. Long-ignored differences came into sharp focus as we began to reassess the incident. We love each other, but we were different, especially in our ideological beliefs. She was quite judgmental. I’m not that kind of person, nor do I want my partner to be like that. Gradually, we fell apart, and there was no official breakup.
To be honest, we should have remained friends. Now, I can’t even call her a friend. But we aren’t enemies. We’d actually greet and even hug each other if we saw outside. It’s just that I know and am convinced that she’s not someone I can rely on.
It was painful but bearable. That statement she made about Davido being bigger than me made me realise something; She never really supported my music. The relationship was an eye-opener, that my partner may not support my work, and there’s nothing I can do about it. It is what it is.
Slowly, I have become used to that idea, and I don’t care for this support anymore. It’s great if it comes. If it doesn’t, I’m completely okay with that, too. While the fight didn’t change how I see Davido and his gang, it made me reassess how I view celebrities and fame. It made me realise that I must always pick my friends and lovers over any celebrity.
Note: The name of this interview subject has been changed for confidential reasons.
