The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
Debby moved to the UK and discovered that the hairdressing skills she picked up casually in Nigeria could help her pay her bills in her new country. In this story, she shares how one hurtful experience with a client she befriended has forced her never to befriend her clients again.
Where do you live, and when did you relocate from Nigeria?
I live in London, United Kingdom, and I moved here two years ago because I wanted a better life for myself.
What has changed since you moved?
My life has significantly improved, but there are still things I’m struggling with. I came in through the work route, so making friends has been difficult. It is easier for people who come in through the school route to make friends because like-minded people surround them. But for me, it has not been easy. People usually assume I’ll have a better chance of making friends because I’m a hairdresser, but I haven’t had much luck there. On the positive side, I am in a better place financially. I had a good life in Nigeria, but there’s a way I can afford things with ease here. If you’re craving something in Nigeria, you’ll have to rethink your life decisions. Here, you have the financial freedom to do different things.
That’s interesting. How did hairdressing come into the picture?
I actually learned hairdressing because I was bored in Nigeria. My mum used to tell us [my siblings and I] to learn a skill, so I picked up hairdressing. As to how it became a profession? I moved to London and realised needed a better way to pay bills so I started making hair.
When I started my business, I was afraid I wouldn’t get customers because I didn’t have friends to refer me. My auntie encouraged me to just post about it on Twitter. I followed her advice, and it has done wonders for my business. I couldn’t even believe the number of orders I got. One of the reasons I got that many orders is that my price is cheaper than that of most of the hairstylists in London. I’ve tried to get my hair done in London, and the prices are not budget-friendly. That’s one of the things I considered when I was creating my price list.
Does that affect how much profit you make?
When I started, I just told myself I would continue making hair with the mindset that I’m still in Nigeria. I didn’t want to charge people €150 because that’s a lot of money to pay for braids in Nigeria. I charge as low as €55 here, which is still fair and enough to pay my bills.
What does a typical day in your work life look like?
I don’t work on more than two clients every week. I have a day job, so it’s not every day I can make hair. I post the dates I am available for my clients to book their appointments. I guess that explains why I haven’t really been able to make friends.
Have you considered befriending the clients you get along with?
I could, but I don’t want to be friends with my customers. I’ve tried it a few times, but it has never ended well. But there is one particular experience that made me set up that boundary. Once, I made friends with a customer who lived outside of London, and as a gesture of my friendship, I offered to always do her hair for free if she could find her way to London. All was good and fine until I mentioned once that she had to pay me for a service – not long after, I saw she posted a video, and I saw in it that she had done her hair. I felt deeply hurt because she could travel down to get her hair done when it was free of charge, but didn’t hesitate to use another hairdresser the moment I asked to be paid. Since then, I’ve been sceptical about making friends with my customers.
So why do you think you still find it difficult to find your community?
I’m the problem. I’m a very reserved person, so it’s hard for me to open up and connect with people. The few times I’ve actually made friends, we always end up having clashing schedules or running out of things to talk about. Everyone has something to do, and it can be a whole lot of drama sometimes.
Do you ever feel lonely?
Sometimes. But that’s mostly because the U.K. itself is a lonely place. In Nigeria, for example, you can just go to a friend’s house for a sleepover, but you can’t really do that here. In the UK, I can stay in my room for two weeks without having anywhere to go. In Nigeria, I always had somewhere to go. Even if you have somewhere to go in the UK, there’s always one shift to attend to.
That’s crazy. Have you experienced any culture shock since you moved?
Yes, and I think the biggest one is the pay-for-yourself culture. You must pay for yourself if you get invited to a birthday dinner. Even if you get invited out on a date, you’ll split bills by 50/50. The first time I went out with a non-Nigerian Nigerian, he asked me, “How are we going to split the bill?” and I was shocked. I’ve just decided to stick to my Nigerian men because, at least, you don’t need to split bills with them—most of the white guys that I have talked to have the same mindset. Even the ones my friends have met are the same regarding money.
Have you kept in touch with your Nigerian friends?
Not really. We’ve fallen out. We didn’t even fight or anything. It just happened.
On a scale of one to ten, rank how happy you are in the UK
I’ll say five. I don’t think anybody is ever truly happy. Even in Nigeria, I wasn’t truly happy, so that has nothing to do with the UK.
Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).
