1. When your stomach disrespects you and you start purging:
2. When the nudes you shared with your crush leaks at work:
3. Being in a boring meeting where everybody is just yarning opata.
4. When you fart loudly during an important meeting:
5. Getting sack letter because you were raining holy ghost fire on your boss during office devotion.
6. Having to give your coworker sack letter:
7. When your boss yells at you in front if your office husband.
8. Someone eating the lunch you bought with your last card:
9. When your boss starts toasting you.
10. When you have to close late because your boss packs extra work for you.
11. When your boss starts sending you to buy beans inside cooler, on top your M.Sc. degree.
What did we miss? Share your own experience in the comments section.
1. You will never shout ‘Ole’ alone, Nigerians will always help you chorus it
2. But once it’s time to involve police in the same Ole matter, another story oh
3. If you can’t drive properly, never fear, a Nigerian will always show you how to ‘cut your hand’
4. What ‘cut your hand’ means exactly, we don’t really know
5. If your children need beating and your hand is paining you, trust any Nigerian to help you enter set
6. Nigerian Policemen really care about your well-being, why they get angry and tax you if your glove-box light isn’t working
7. The policemen also want you to be good Nigerians and care for their well-being, why they ask if you have anything for boys
8. Please, which other country will the thieves warn you before coming to give you courtesy visit?
Nigerians are too much jare!!!
The Economist Intelligence Unit released a Global Liveability Report yesterday, and surprise-surprise, our beloved Lagos City ranked among the 5 WORST cities to live in : 138th of 140 countries ranked.
So apparently, these people think our one and only Lagos is not all that.
In 2015, Lagos ranked 4th worst city to live in: 137th of 140 cities surveyed.
The overall Liveability Score for Lagos is 36 of 100, with the least scores coming from the Stability Category.
High crime rates as well as civil unrest are everyday realities in Lagos.
The city’s ranking implies that most aspects of living are terribly constricted and not acceptable in global standards.
Lagos is the smallest state in Nigeria, covering 0.4% of the country’s territorial landscape.
Education and Healthcare in Lagos had miserable figures -well below average, with war-torn Tripoli (Libya) actually scoring higher.
A 2010 report revealed that 45.2% of girls in a Lagos slum have never attended school.
The continuing urbanization of Lagos is gradually turning it into a Mega City, and the city’s expansion is estimated to continue over the next decade.
Lagos is the major hub for the head-quarters of numerous global and national companies, and accounts for over 60% of industrial activities in Nigeria.
Epileptic power supply and an exploding population of about 22 million- leading to terrible traffic snarls- are among the city’s biggest challenges.
How to avoid traffic in Lagos: 1) Drive only between 11pm and 4am 2) Buy helicopter 3) Become governor 4) Be a witch 5) Don't come to Lagos.
Although the report wrongly places the bulk of Lagos’ challenges on the threat of Boko Haram, conflict has seen more migration to Lagos from the North.
The terrorist group’s activities were restricted to the North-Eastern parts of the country, and Lagos was never a red-zone.
The EIU report ranked Lagos just above war-torn Tripoli (Libya).
Damascus, Syria is currently ranked the worst city to live in.
Lagos scored highest in the Culture and Environment Category, although some parts of the city are extremely dirty and face serious environmental threats.
Careless waste disposal in slums and ‘urban’ areas are dangerously on the rise.
But it’s not all gloom in Lagos. The past 12 months have seen massive reconstruction of roads and bridges as well as the beefing-up of security . A light -rail project is in place and the Eko Atlantic City is nearing completion.
An artist’s impression of what Marina will will look like when the light-rail project is completed.
This post is pretty hard to write because our beloved Nigeria did not impress us. Due to poor planning, Team Nigeria couldn’t slay in traditional outfits. We are only here for the laughs sha, and we saved the worst for last.
The Good:
1. The South Korean Team looking nice and preppy in Beanpole’s design is seriously the cutest thing we’ve seen at the Olympics.
These guys oozed cuteness.
2. This guy from Tonga only had to wear baby oil.
My oh my!
3. All we see is awesomeness with this perfectly tailored Team USA ensemble.
These Ralph Lauren boat shoes are the business!
4. Team Canada went for flawless street style swag, designed by Dsquared.
We half expected Drake and a flash mob to pop out.
6. Team Djibouti killed it with a simple cultural look.
Africans representing!
7. And here is Team Great Britain serving a very British look in Stella McCartney and Adidas.
Those sneakers are everything.
8. Team Cuba looked like money in Louboutin/Sporty Henri designs.
So very classy.
Although they wore parkas over that awesomeness at the Opening Ceremony.
Ahn ahn, why now?
The Bad:
1. Team Germany didn’t look so great wearing leggings under skirts.
Leggings bawo?
2. Team Italy could have done with more color, they looked really dull in Giorgio Armani’s all black designs.
Abeg whose funeral is it?
3. Looks like Nigerian tailors made Team Sweden’s ill-fitting skirts using ugly fabric.
We are not understanding.
4. Team China looked like a cold plate of tomato stew with the ugliest tie colors.
Those ties are a no-no!
5. We really like how cultural Team Indonesia looked, but the red and white blazer is giving us serious Ajinomoto vibes.
‘Maggi maggi!’
The Ugly.
We’re giving Team Nigeria the award for ‘The Ugly’ mainly because the outfits they were supposed to wear were beyond atrocious.
Chineke!
Thankfully, there was a delay in planning and the athletes had to wear available tracksuits instead.
Praise the Lord!
1. When you entered SS1 and you thought the entire subject was about reproduction.
