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  • What you do with the information gotten from this quiz is entirely up to you.

    Pick the ones that apply to you:

  • We’re getting closer to Valentine’s Day and as usual, we’re here with the perfect gift ideas for your partners. Today, the focus is on Igbo men. So if you’re in a relationship or crushing on one Igbo man down the road, this article is for you. You’re welcome.

    1. Wickedness

    Nice girls never win the war sis. Men deserve wickedness everyday and Igbo men deserve even more because they’re always so extra. But Igbo men kuku love problem. Once you show them small wickedness like this, they’ll pack all their money and give to you. 

    2. Handcuffs and whips

    Every Igbo man wants a powerful woman beside him. After all, who’s going to take charge of all the money he’s gathering? Show him you’re a dominant queen that can command his kingdom. Throw in a little “Daaaddy” in bed while and you’ll get the keys to his kingdom. 

    3. Proper singlets

    Men claim that they’re always receiving singlets, but Igbo men have constantly proven that we’re not doing enough. We will keep gifting singlets until they throw away this rubbish. 

    4. Abacha and Okpa

    They say a way to a man’s heart is food. For an Igbo man — especially if he’s from Enugu — it’s abacha and okpa that will do the trick. 

    5. Palmwine

    Get him drunk enough to rob him of his millions. If he’s too broke, still get him drunk enough for a good night. From him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. Yes, it’s written in the Bible. 

    6. Kolanut

    While an Igbo man secretly wants to be dominated in the bedroom, he also wants his ego to be massaged. Kolanut is a symbol of respect in the Igbo land. Serve him in a calabash and kneel down in front of him on Valentine’s day. Show him you’re a queen that can whip him into submission while submitting to him as well.

    7. Container

    Igbo men are always claiming to have containers that are about to land, so why not get him a shipping container? Show him you’re as committed to his growth while you balance it with wickedness.

    Put these seven items in a gift box and take it to him tonight. Come and beat me if you’re not in Dubai by the 14th sis.

  • Valentine’s Day 2021 might have ended, but what will remain forever hilarious are these tweets from single people, zealous people, and people who are genuinely just here for the violence.

    1. Every single person today.

    https://twitter.com/Day_veedd/status/1360749637251063808

    2. This one is for all of us who received nothing. We sha thank God for the gift of life.

    https://twitter.com/AkankeBillions/status/1360881648930344961

    3. Dress code? ‘Touch of red and white.’

    4. LMAO. You better collect it with gratitude.

    https://twitter.com/thelegendkunte/status/1360729959984230403

    5. Nigerian mothers have entered the group chat.

    https://twitter.com/kingeloca/status/1360689522229600258

    6. EKSU citizens stay representing  😭 

    7. Market yourself to your target audience, sis.

    https://twitter.com/thelifeoftunji/status/1360720615410384900

    8. We feel your pain, sis.

    https://twitter.com/The_amakaa/status/1360879420337184769

    9. Somebody please rescue this man, abeg.

    https://twitter.com/The_Nenye/status/1360877887709208576

    10. Wahala dey.

  • Valentine approaches with the speed of a bullet train and depending on your relationship status and your partner’s proclivity for giving gifts, you’re either looking forward to it or dreading it like Open Day in secondary school.

    As usual, Nigerian women have come out with their usual tricks. 

    “wHaT dO YOu giVE a mAn tHAt haS evERytHINg?”

    Must be ment.

    NerdEfiko suggested I ask men to tell about the worst Valentine’s Day gifts they’ve ever gotten. I expected the usual salvo of terrible gifts Nigerian women are known for, but the majority of replies were even more surprising. Over 80% of respondents say they’ve never received a Valentine’s Day gift before. Ever.

    https://twitter.com/Lyriicalwizzy/status/1360010872513564678?s=20

    My men are suffering out here

    And then there’s this guy

    https://twitter.com/Olumuyiwa__/status/1359828812775702531?s=20

    Gala? Women are wicked.

    But I did get some “lucky” guys who had at least been gifted something for Valentine’s. Some of the answers were appalling.

    Wolf, 29

    That Valentine, I had gotten her a huge cake, a bag, a watch, chocolate and vintage red wine. In return, I got perfume that was so pungent, it smelled like eggs and methylated spirit. You could tell how cheap it was just by looking at it. And yes, she was working.

    Tochukwu, 29

    I bought her a phone for Valentine’s. I guess she was feeling bad that she didn’t get me anything. So she gave me a Bounty chocolate bar. Which happens to be the chocolate I really hate. I wasn’t even expecting anything in return but that was just way off. I had told her before that I hated it but probably forgot. She definitely didn’t forget how much I hated it after that incident.

    Dami, 28

    She got me shoe polish, singlet and boxers.

    Matic

    All I got was a shaved vagina.

    Matic to his babe on February 13, 14 and 15.

    As a reminder to women to try and do better, here are some more tweets of men expressing shock when they discovered men too receive Valentine gifts.

    https://twitter.com/__coolnerd/status/1359830193670676483?s=20

    [donation]

  • Every Valentine’s day, you can totally smell the love in the air. The gifts shared between lovers are not even as much the banter that ensues.

    These hilarious tweets show how dramatic Valentine’s day went for some Nigerians.

    This Nigerian lady shared the story of her friend who went all the way and got her boo a PS4 console for Valentine’s day.

    So this babe is giving us gist of how she saved to get her man the ps4 for this Valentine’s Day & he was so excited.

    — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    And this happened afterwards.

    He put up “best girlfriend ever” on his bbm and people were congratulating both of them, saying she’s a keeper and all.

    — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    During the epic Valentine’s day Arsenal match against Leceister FC…

    Fast forward to some hours later, Arsenal wins. He takes off the ps4 from his dp & the “best girlfriend ever” from his pm & replaces it with

    — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    Arsenal FC seized another person’s bae.

    Arsenal’s logo & “Arsenal just gave me the best gift”

    Babe is devastated here, talking of how he’s an ingrate and whatnot — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016
    Hay God!

    She just said she’s going to take the ps4 back????????????????

    I almost fell out of this chair???? — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    Because of small play.

    Can this get any worse? She said she’s not going for the dinner date?????

    What kind of retard is this one oh Lord? Cos of small play???? — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    When your boo thanks another person for the best Valentine’s gift ever after you bought them a PS4.

    Ela! [zkk_poll post=18634 poll=content_block_standard_format_9]

  • Valentine’s Day might be over, but we can’t get over how people in relationships graced our screens with cute pictures and gifts. In case you missed it, here’s a compilation of the cutest Valentine’s Day gifts we saw this year.

    Forget what they say about love being a scam. It’s actually sweet.

    Because why are people turning to Shakespeare and writing beautiful messages to each other if not out of love. And it’s not just the words. The gifts themselves are…giving!

    It all started with Adesua shouting Banke out very early in the morning

    What Banky W did exactly, we’ve not found out till today. But Adesua set the tone for the day.

    Someone got tickets to Beyonce’s tour

    And we’re totally jealous.

    Someone said the winner of Valentine olympics has come for her crown

    The owner of Valentine’s Day gave everybody else time to make their case so she can step in with the perfect closer.

    Someone got an animated book of their love story

    This is the kind of feel-good stuff we’re here for.

    This  lady was gifted a whole experience 

    https://twitter.com/Inzaghi1/status/1625531009960759296?s=20

    The cutest scented candle ever

    Someone got himself a car for Valentine’s Day

    Talk about self-love.

    And let’s not forget the biggest cheerleader of all

    Malta Guinness curated a unique experience for their customers by offering them a chance to showcase their love expression skills via letter writing. Lovers of the drink made handwritten letters using buzz words from the past like XOXO, ditto, doxology and golden pen, in a bid to share goodness with their loved ones.