1. “They just released a new textbook that’s compulsory for exams”
It’s not that expensive, just 20,000.
2. “We have one excursion like this, we need to rent a bus to take us”
They said its 5,000 per person because it’s AC bus.
3. “Before we graduate we need to do one small clearance like this”
They said 12,000 clearance fee or we can’t graduate.
4. “Medicals are coming up soon o. E cost small”
We need to pay quickly, doctors want to strike.
5. “They said we have to pay faculty dues this week”
You know I can’t lie to you mummy.
6. “They just renovated the hostel…the price doubled”
It’s even annoying me that we’re paying this much. But what can we do?
7. “They said they want to strike unless we pay their union fees”
I’m not smiling mummy, this is a laugh of anger, trust me.
8. “They’ve increased our school fees”
They added 25,000 o!
9. “We’re doing one presentation like that and we have to pay research fees”
I’ll get F9 if I don’t pay
10. “We’re doing one experiment like this and we need to buy a special lab coat”
The lab coat is not made in Nigeria sha.
A Nigerian scam episode that had a beautiful twist in the end.
In 2009, Maria Grette, a 69-year-old Swedish woman fell in love with Johnny, a 58-year-old Danish she met on the internet- or so she thought.
Little did she realize Johnny was a 24-year-old Nigerian graduate, who remained unemployed 2 years after getting his first degree.
She didn’t suspect anything at first, until he told her he got robbed and shot in Nigeria, where he claimed to be visiting. He started to request for huge amounts of medical fees, as he alleged that he couldn’t make transfers from his account due to technicalities.
Our Nigerian brothers will not stop embarrassing us in this life. But can we really blame them?
Anyway, Johnny, the scammer (not his real name), confessed to Maria after she’d stopped sending money and stopped picking his calls. Apparently, he was repentant and wanted her to forgive him.
Instead of getting angry and escalating it, Ms Grette decided to visit Nigeria that year, to see how she could help some of Nigeria’s youth. She now helps African artists get to international exhibitions where they can show their art to a wider client range.
As for the young Johnny, he got sponsored to an American university for his masters, and has even landed a job with an oil company. All these, courtesy of Ms Gretta.
All you scammers, this doesn’t mean your own 419 story will end like this fairy tale o! If you don’t stop it, you’re on your own!
As if having President Mugabe leading them into a recession is not enough, Zimbabweans are facing another, probably bigger, financial problem.
Thousands of Zimbabweans have lost their investments after the online money scheme, MMM Zimbabwe Global, terminated its services without prior notice to investors.
Apparently, the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe had earlier warned citizens that MMM was a scam, but Zimbabweans didn’t listen because initial investors had made profit from the scheme.
It’s not surprising Zimbabweans were desperate to join the social financial network; the country’s economy is fast grinding to a halt.
The Zimbabwean Finance Minister, Patrick Chinamasa, and ZANU PF, the leading party, have been widely criticized for their inability to map out strategic economic reform ideas to improve the situation.
And of course, there’s this teeny tiny problem as well.
Ponzi schemes like the MMM only work when new members invest money, which is used to pay off older investors until a point where the schemes don’t attract new investors and crash.
The MMM Nigeria scheme is gaining traction and we heard someone even advised presido to put our money there.
What would you do if you found out your bae is a Taiwo? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
1. You, trying to find a place to actually park your car.
Nothing more stressful than taking your car to computer village.
2. When you enter computer village and suddenly become a “fine boy” and “fine girl”.
Nobody is ugly there.
3. How the agberos see you when you enter computer village smiling:
Better start frowning.
4. You, walking through computer village like:
The struggle.
5. When you realize the sun at computer village is different from the sun everywhere else.
The heat is not smiling.
6. When someone grabs you for “your pink lips, your piercing, your tattoos!”
Are you mad?
7. When people start rushing you with “you wan buy, you wan sell?”
Leave me, biko.
8. When someone tells you their shop is “just there” but you’ve been walking for 30 minutes.
Kuku kill me.
9. When you touch your pocket and you can’t feel your phone again.
Chineke!
10. When you bring out your money to try and count it.
Hay God!
11. When they go to the back of the shop to “pack” the phone you just tested.
That’s how they will pack fufu inside phone case for you.
12. When you buy an iPhone from one of the agberos at the gate.
Oshey iPhone by Nokia.
13. When you take your device to fix one problem and leave with three new ones.
See my life.
14. When you come back to your car and see hawkers selling shoes on top your bonnet.
Hian! From where to where?
1. The Yahoo boy starter pack:
The faker the better.
2. When you see a well known yahoo boy going out to pay tithe.
Well, this is awkward.
3. How you have their numbers saved on your phone:
Always changing numbers up and down.
4. When you see a yahoo boy talking about “hard earned money”.
See this one.
5. Yahoo boys, when they pretend to be women online.
The hustle.
6. When you’re popping your humble champagne and one yahoo boy comes to shut the club down.
See my life.
7. The official yahoo boy baptism:
Go forth and scam.
8. Yahoo boys and Range Rovers.
A match made in heaven.
9. When they always have “money” somewhere in their nickname.
All of them.
10. When you ask them what they do for a living.
“Ehm. The thing is…”
11. Yahoo boys, when they see an EFCC bus.
Hay God!
12. When Nigerians are complaining about the exchange rate, yahoo boys be like:
Turn up!
13. When they start getting lazy.
No time.
14. Whenever a yahoo boy says “God bless my hustle.”
Na so.
This is probably one of the top 5 most frustrating emails to get at anytime of the day. Majority of us have gotten one or two daily emails from Dr. Azolibe and his cohorts. Tiring! Annoying! It is a scam!
When you see “1 new email” and it is Dr. Azolibe’s “How to last longer in bed”.
What is all this rubbish for God’s sake?
Someone unfortunately picks your phone and you did not close the email page.
See, don’t act like that. It’s not what it looks like, I can explain.
So you begin to think.
Who gave these people my email address?
And you feel it is one of your exes.
Wow, so just because we broke up badly, you’re doing me dirty.
Hey! Its not your ex. It is a spam service. Don’t curse him/her yet.
It’s a scam website that got your email address from the Internet.
1. First thing to do “Mark as Spam”.
This will ensure all subsequent emails go to the spam folder directly.
2. Look for every other account that sends those emails and do the same.
Dr. Azolibe, Dee Obinna, Engineer Obi all of you must go today. No I don’t want a Samsung and my girlfriend is not complaining!
3. Put them all on a spam reporting website.
They must all rot in there! Mad People.
4. Stop clicking ads online.
No, don’t be deceived nobody is trying to meet you in your area.
5. Stop putting your email address on untrusted and unpopular websites.
They are not going to email you any offers. That is Dr. Azolibe and his family members.
