Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • We’re in the days of 5G and cardless ATM withdrawals, yet somehow banks will still ask you to take out a newspaper ad just to correct the arrangement of your name on your own bank account. 

    We listed some of the requirements we consider quite unnecessary, and got a bank official to explain why banks need them.

    Why do prospective current account holders need references who already have current accounts?

    To start, we’ll need to clarify what a savings and current account is meant to achieve. The savings account was designed initially to deposit funds, with limited withdrawals. This is very obviously not the case on our side of the continent. LOL.

    A current account accommodates more transactions, which is essential for the business person. The bank doesn’t accept references from a savings account holder because it’s believed that, unlike a current account, the savings account holder doesn’t make use of their account regularly, may not be easily reachable, and can’t be a reliable guarantor if yawa gas.

    Why do banks require proof of address? Can’t a homeless person have a functioning bank account?

    They can have a tier 1 account. In this case, the bank marketers may just write down the address of the place they met the customer since it isn’t really necessary.

    The challenge with this is, such type of account will have restrictions on the amount of money they can receive, and if an amount above the limit is received, the account is immediately restricted. Think of it as a fraud measure — the bank should be able to account for the legality of its customers.

    The proof of address is required when the customer wants to upgrade their account to higher tiers and fewer restrictions. So why not just fulfil the requirements from the beginning?

    Utility bills too. What if I owe NEPA; does this affect my ability to open an account?

    The accounts that require a utility bill are the tier 3 accounts — the highest level of savings account in Nigeria. In simple terms, you can have as much money there as you like.

    And honestly, the bank doesn’t care if you owe NEPA or not; that’s your wahala. They just want to make sure the address you gave them exists, and you actually live there.

    Why’s it necessary to take out a newspaper ad just to make a small name adjustment? Isn’t the affidavit enough?

    You know how the country only recognises your marriage under the law when you have a court wedding? The newspaper ad shows you’ve officially changed your name under law, and the country now has your new name on record. The affidavit is legal too, but the newspaper ad is an additional public notification.

    Is my mother’s maiden name really necessary to make changes to my account?

    It’s not entirely necessary. It’s just more of a security question to prevent unauthorised persons from accessing your account. It’s not foolproof, which is why other documents and your signature are also required.

    NEXT READ: 6 Working Mums Tell Us What They Wish They’d Done Differently in Their Careers

  • As the cost of living goes up and the Naira weakens, we present a list of ways to preserve the value of your Naira savings.

    8) Dollars

    Hello, Nigeria my people.

    7) Bitcoin

    The best way to unfuck yourself from the Nigerian government.

    6) Trader Moni

    This is obviously the only “currency” the Nigerian government respects. We could literally be dying and the only thing the government will talk about is Trader Moni. Wait, they already did just that.

    5) Bone straight wig

    Wahala for who no get bone straight in Nigeria oh. Dual function – slay and save.

    4) Rice

    This is the new cocaine for Nigerians. That’s the only reason why a bag of rice now costs ₦35,000.

    3) A kilo of turkey

    At ₦2,700 per kilo, this is obviously our new exchange rate benchmark. Naira – Kilo – Dollars.

    2) Social media bill

    This is the latest thing in town. Politicians will pay you anything for it.

    1) Onions

    Kuku kill us.

    [donation]

  • After reading this, make sure you share with any young person you care deeply about.

    Here you go:

    1) You’ll have energy to work forever.

    Alexa, play Young Forever by Jay-z.

    2) The world is ending because of Miss Rona.

    Enjoy your life, young king and queen.

    3) The Naira is getting stronger.

    Thank God it’s only ₦475 to a dollar and not even ₦500. Whew.

    4) You’ll see 1 million Naira on the floor and it’ll solve all your problems.

    Just keep searching. One day, you’ll find it.

    5) A rich person will marry you and solve all your problems.

    Just exercise small patience.

    6) A fortune teller told you that you’ll be rich.

    All is well.

    7) You’re too young to think about savings.

    Okay, but how is your back ache?

    8) One day, you’ll become a Nigerian politician.

    And you’ll live happily ever after.

    My brother and sister, jazz up and don’t lose concentration. You’re never too young to be financially literate. The earlier the better. Here’s a good place to start.

  • Shall we?

    1) Hold your wedding on a Monday morning.

    Let them choose between paid employment and begging for souvenirs.

    2) Make it a themed wedding.

    Tell them the theme is variety and you’d love for everyone to bring their native dish so that we can unite as one Nigeria. That way you don’t have to cook for anyone.

    3) Don’t invite one side of the family.

    Do a coin toss to see whose side of the family won’t be attending, that way you cut cost.

    4) Get married inside this pandemic.

    No crowd, no spending.

    5) Refuse gifts and accept only cash.

    Make sure this is before the wedding so part of this money can foot the cost of the wedding.

    6) Find another person getting married on the same day and share a hall.

    No need to thank us.

    7) Do court wedding and post pictures later on social media.

    Tell them it was impromptu if they ask why they were not invited.

    8) Pay someone to object when they ask people to speak or forever hold their peace.

    Make sure your bride slaps you, runs away, and you run after her. Bye bye suckers. That way you don’t spend on any party.

    9) Don’t get married.

    The ultimate hack.

  • If you’ve tried setting aside a part of your income for the future but failed, there’s a high chance that your main problem was with willpower. It’s okay. You’re not alone.

    Even Jesus said that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

    Your willpower – more wobbly than a tower of Jenga – has put you in terrible situations when it comes to money. Situations not unlike these:

    1) That time a rich relative gave you money that you were grateful for but didn’t exactly need right then so this was you and the money staring at each other and wondering what was going to happen next:

    You ended buying up food with the money. You still regret your decision to this very day.

    2) When an onigbese that has been owing you money for a long time finally pays but you’re currently in a good place financially and don’t know what to do with the money.

    “WHERE WAS THIS MONEY WHEN I NEEDED IT, EHN?!“

    3) That time you gave your savings to a family member to keep for you and made them swear to not give it back under any circumstances but this was you three days later when you wanted to buy new shoes:

    Y’all are close so they forgave you eventually. It took a while though.

    4) That time you actually saved a bit and were proud of your progress so you splurged on a little present for yourself but got too excited and overspent. Then this was you with the present:

    What you thought would bring you happiness brought sadness and despair instead. This world nawa.

    5) That time you were focused on saving money but your friends planned a trip to Rufus & Bees and you didn’t want to be left out so this was you playing arcade games:

    You spent like 30k that day. Your friendship with them has been rocky ever since.

    You know what’s better than having a Mexican standoff with money you own but know you’re not supposed to squander?

    Introducing AELLA NOTES.

    Aella Notes (from the fin-tech company, Aella Credit) is an investment web service that helps individuals invest safely. Interest rates range between 4% and 26%, depending on the size of your investment and length of time of investment. All you need to start is a minimum of ₦100,000 to start.

    The best part is that you don’t need to worry about where your money is at any given time. The service has an easy-to-use interface that lets you track how your investment is being used. You can even create multiple investments. Click here to sign up.

  • As much as Nigerians love money, they can be very clueless about it. Things like how to invest and grow your savings or manage your money efficiently can be confusing for the average Nigerian. Like how many of us even know what mutual funds means? So if you are confused about money as we are then you need to be following these social media accounts ASAP.

    Tunji Andrews

    @TunjiAndrews is the Lead Economist at Time, Trade and Commodities (TTAC) and a media personality. Asides his Twitter page, his show ‘The Money Business and Economy Show’ on Nigeria Info FM offers a treasure trove of financial tips.

    Nairametrics

    @Nairametrics is a financial literacy and business new site. Beyond the site, their Twitter page is packed full with financial advice and tips that are updated pretty regularly.

    Ugo Obi-Chukwu

    @Ugodre is the team lead at Nairametrics. He is also a chartered accountant with over 16 years of experience in financial management and corporate finance. So you already know he knows his shit.

    Arese Ugwu

    @smartmoneyarese is the author of the best selling book ‘The Smart Money Woman’. She is also the founder of Smart Money Africa, a personal finance blog that will offer you better financial advice than just there’s rice at home.

    Nimi Akinkugbe

    @MMWithNimi has a Bachelor’s degree from the London School of Economics and was once General Manager and Head, Private Banking and Director of Stanbic Bank. She also runs a personal finance site called ‘Money Matters with Nimi’

    Moe Odele

    @Mochievous is an experienced finance attorney and startup advisor. She runs a social enterprise called ‘Scale my hustle’ which helps new entrepreneurs launch and grow successful businesses.

    Oluwatosin Olaseinde

    @tosinolaseinde is the founder of ‘The Money Africa’. She’s a chartered account with over 8 years of experience in finance.

    The Money Africa

    @themoneyafrica offers insight into everything money. From financial literacy, to how to grow your money in ways that don’t involve MMM type of schemes they’ve got you covered.

    Tomie Balogun

    @tomiebalogun refers to herself as a millennial investment expert. And if you scroll through her Instagram page you’ll find that she lives up to her promise.

    If you know any other great accounts, please share!

  • You know the feeling of setting a savings goal and with ginger you actually start to save, only for you to somehow sha break into it before you even reach halfway through your goal timeline? We can totally relate, so we’ve decided to create a list of some of our saving struggles.

    Money? What’s that?

    How do you take something out of nothing? Don’t angry me, please! *crying in unemployment*

    How much am I even earning?

    Man never chop finish, you’re talking about saving. I can see you don’t have my best interests at heart.

    Automated payments

    “Baba God, tell me I’m dreaming. These people have removed my last change. Who sent you? Who sent you?!”

    Have you seen the price of garri in the market?

    It’s like you don’t know what is happening in the country. You can’t even price anyhow anymore. Just leave me to be managing my life.

    Food

    How will I buy food if I keep saving? Please let me enjoy; life is one.

    Internet

    Ordinary small breeze will blow and all your data will finish. Oh, well. *buys more data*

    I got 99 problems but saving ain’t one

    And on the other end of the spectrum, we have the non-savers. “What is saving, please? Don’t insult my personality. I just keep making this schmoney! Call me OBO.”

    What do y’all spend money on that you wish you didn’t have to? Tweet us @zikokomag!

  • When it comes to saving money, Nigerian mothers are the bosses of that! So when Nigerians started sharing the hilarious ways their mothers saved money using #SaveLikeMum on Twitter, we decided to jump on it, as per, carrying last is not our portion.

    1. When the school bus becomes expensive, your Nigerian mum be like:

    Lap yourselves o!

    2. How the toothpaste in your house looks like:

    As per, nothing must waste.

    3. When you tell your mum you want ice-cream.

    Choose one.

    4. You, when she effortlessly prices something from N3,000 to N200.

    Na jazz?

    5. When she cuts your pocket money by half and asks you to share that half with your siblings.

    Na wa o!

    6. When she turns your old bedsheets into curtains.

    Ahn ahn! Mummy sharp guy!

    7. Her idea of ‘turning up on a budget’:

    There is always rice at home.

    8. When you realize you can win 20k for your mom with the #SaveLikeMum Meme Contest on Twitter.

    Yasss!

    This is not a joke! I repeat, this is not banter!

     For a chance to win N20K, follow @myaccessbank on Twitter and share a hilarious #SaveLikeMum caption and meme!