• 1. When your mother gives you that ‘let us get home first’ side-eye in public

    That side-eye is dangerous oh, better start the begging!

    2. When you get home and the first thing you hear is ‘oya just kneel down there’

    You’ll just meet your parents with cane chilling for you on the floor.

    3. That ‘mogbe’ moment when you’re dodging your mom’s uppercut, but she thinks you’re challenging her

    ‘Please, I was just protecting myself, I don’t want to kill you, ah!’

    4. Or you get back home and you hear: ‘just go back to wherever you’re coming from’ izz all over

    This one is just the worst.

    5. When you just finish showing your junior one who senior pass, and you meet them in your parents room like:

    You already know they’ve finished downloading the beating to your parents plus fisi.

    6. When you’re arguing with your parents and you hear: ‘okay, just wait for me’

    Please I don’t want to oh!!

    7. When you forget who the real oga at the top is, and think you can get home anytime you want

    ‘So my house is Quilox that you can be entering around 11 abi?’
  • 1. When your mother sees you resting and lets you be.

    https://twitter.com/chidimma_rita/status/744634407739228161?lang=en

    2. When your mother actually gives you a straight answer.

    3. When your father gets the remote by himself.

    https://twitter.com/VixenKouture/status/744645076048056320

    4. When your parents support your non-medical profession.

    5. When there’s no ‘African time’ at play.

    https://twitter.com/l0velystephey_/status/744667899483152386

    6. When your parents actually do a chore by themselves.

    7. When you don’t have to wash plates.

    https://twitter.com/callmeminxiemay/status/744625285220417536

    8. When the oyinbo teacher actually gets your name right.

    https://twitter.com/Allison__OG/status/744655741047345152

    9. When the girl vomiting in the Nollywood movie just has malaria.

    10. When your parents don’t shout at the top of their lungs.

    https://twitter.com/tribe_zuzu/status/744689868706570240

    11. When the person you parents call your aunty is actually your aunty.

    12. When your parents actually like the person you’re dating.

    https://twitter.com/callmeminxiemay/status/744626838727757826

    13. When your parents don’t think your left hand is of the devil.

    14. When your parents don’t compare you to your classmate with 2 heads.

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  • 1. The real bathroom in a Nigerian home:

    The bathroom begins and ends inside that bucket.

    2. Those colourful sponges that look like net singlet:

    Everyone in the house has a different colour.

    3. That local sponge that looks like bird nest:

    To wash away your sins.

    4. The bathroom slippers that your mother has used to stone you.

    This is where their marksmanship shines.

    5. A million toothbrushes when there are just 4 people in the house:

    Nigerians don’t know how to throw away toothbrush.

    6. All the toothpastes we have unofficially named ‘Closeup’:

    They are all ‘Closeup’. Go and argue in your house.

    7. The toothpaste no one wants to accept has finished:

    It must not waste.

    8. The floor rag that is just a retired towel:

    Your mother will kill you if you don’t take it out to dry after every bath.

    9. That heater that hasn’t worked in years:

    Why are you even there?

    10. When you see this, you know the most annoying chore is about to go down.

    Ugh! The worst.

    11. That container filled with water, just in case:

    Can’t trust the tap in a Nigerian house.

    12. The soaps we all grew up with:

    The smell of Tura was the worst.

    13. The bathing soap Nigerians have turned into washing soap.

    Has anyone actually used it to bath?