Nigerian bridesmaid | Zikoko!

I’m a social butterfly. I make friends everywhere I go, and while that’s usually a good thing, I’ve noticed some disadvantages in the past year: the damage to my bank account. Between August 2024 and July 2025, I attended 12 weddings and was an aso-ebi girl for 8 of them.

For context, an aso-ebi girl is a bridesmaid who wears coordinated outfits with the other ladies/bridesmaids on the bridal train to signify their close ties with the bride. It’s a standard in Nigerian Yoruba weddings. I wasn’t close friends with all 8 brides, but everyone knows you don’t have to be super close to someone before you can ask them to join your bridal party.

As a Yoruba babe, the larger your entourage of aso-ebi girls, the more colourful your wedding. Plus, you get more people to create TikTok content with and have a lit reception entrance. Most of the aso-ebi invitations were from friends, mutual friends, church members and work colleagues. I like to show up for people. I like turning up at weddings and parties even more, but I might have gone overboard with the “turning up” this past year.

I want to make better financial decisions, so I may not take up all the invitations I receive moving forward. But first, let’s go over the damage of the past 8 weddings.

First Wedding

This was my best friend’s wedding, and it was so important to me. I’d been part of their love story since uni, so I took their union personally.

The wedding was a three-day affair: registry, traditional, and church. I wasn’t just an aso-ebi girl; I also doubled as the chief bridesmaid for the church wedding.

This is honestly what I can remember because I sprayed money at the wedding. I must have spent a fortune on transportation to and fro Balogun market, helping my friend with purchases and looking for materials. I also bought her a bridal crown and some accessories for her bridal shower, but I don’t remember the cost. In the end, it was worth it. My friend had a good time, and I did, too.

Second Wedding

How I became an aso-ebi girl at this wedding was quite interesting. The bride was one of the aso-ebi girls at my best friend’s wedding. I knew her from a distance in uni, but we never interacted until we both joined the bridesmaids’ WhatsApp group. We met a few times to help my best friend with the market runs and the surprise bridal shower plan, so we became cordial. From there, we started commenting on each other’s status updates and chatting occasionally.

A few weeks after my best friend’s wedding, this bride sent me her wedding invitation. I called to congratulate her, and she chipped in that she’d like me to be one of her aso-ebi girls. Apparently, she liked my energy at my best friend’s wedding and wanted me to be part of her big day. I thought, “Why not?” At least the clothes I’d buy would be mine. Plus, I’d get to have fun. So, I agreed.

Thankfully, her wedding was low-key, so I didn’t have to spend much.

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Third Wedding

This was my office bestie’s wedding. I don’t think she officially asked me to join her aso-ebi girls. You know how friends comment, “We have a wedding to plan!” after their friend posts proposal pictures online? That’s how it happened. Instead of just office gist, we started gisting about her wedding plans.

One day, the gist extended to the colours she was considering for the day, and she said, “What do you think of pink? You’ll be wearing pink as part of the aso-ebi.” That’s how I became an aso-ebi girl again.

I also sprayed money at this wedding, but I can’t remember how much. On the plus side, the bride’s uncle sprayed me $200, so I recouped my money in a way.

Fourth Wedding

I didn’t enjoy the aso-ebi girl experience at this wedding for several reasons. First off, the other ladies on the bridal train were really somehow. I kept wondering if they were the bride’s friends because they dragged everything on the bridesmaids group: from the style of lace to how much each person was willing to part with. One lady even said, “Must we buy gele? I don’t have money for gele.” Like, which aso-ebi girl doesn’t wear gele?

That aside, I was broke. It was a church member’s wedding, and I’d been aware of the wedding for months (even before weddings 2 and 3). However, my phone had issues around this time, and my account was red. But I’d already agreed to be a bridesmaid, and I couldn’t back out. I ended up borrowing ₦60k from a friend to meet up. I really hated resorting to a loan, but I had no choice.

Fifth Wedding

I’ll admit I overdid myself at this wedding. A mutual friend was getting married to a big name in society, and I volunteered to join the aso-ebi because I wanted to experience the paparazzi.

I also work in asset management, and I thought the event would help me meet richer people and expand my network. I may also have been hoping to find a sugar daddy, but I digress.

Sixth Wedding

At this point, I was in an average of two bridesmaids’ WhatsApp groups simultaneously and wondered how I got myself into that mess. The only way I can explain it is that I’m now at an age where almost everyone I know is getting married. Will I take that as a sign? Heck no.

Anyway, this was another work colleague’s wedding. What can I say? I’m popular at my office.

Seventh Wedding

This was my cousin’s wedding, and I spent less than usual because the aso-ebi material was free, and my aunt helped me sew it. My other cousin did my makeup for free, and I received a selfie light as a souvenir for this wedding. It might have been my favourite wedding all year.

Eighth Wedding

The craziest thing about this wedding was that the couple added me to a “Friends of the couple” group. The group’s purpose was to raise money to support them. I thought that was wild because I’m already on your bridal train.

I didn’t contribute any money, and the bride has been acting coldly. The wedding happened some weeks ago, so I’ll just assume she’s still on her honeymoon. Let me wait before jumping to conclusions.

Bottom Line

In total, I spent ₦1,689,000 on eight weddings. I know I spent a lot, but seeing the cold, hard fact is really humbling. The worst part is, there are hidden costs I can’t remember. The silver lining is I always rewear my aso-ebi outfits to church during Thanksgiving Sundays, so I didn’t completely waste money.

Will I stop accepting aso-ebi girl invitations? Probably not. But I intend to reduce it to the bare minimum: only close friends.

I also have a plan to help me become more financially conscious. When I get an invite, I’ll estimate how much the aso-ebi would likely cost and put the money in a savings app instead. It’ll be difficult to enforce because I still love going outside, but I’ll have to try. It’s time to be serious.

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The Nigerian wedding industry is the epitome of the saying, “It’s expensive out here”. From make-up to hall decoration, the cost of an item is most likely to double — or even triple — once the word “wedding” is mentioned.

Wedding vendors be like…

The intending couple aren’t the only ones affected by this account balance-reddening venture. In recent years, bridesmaids have had to dig deep into their purses to afford the expenses that come with the position. We spoke to six Nigerian women about what it costs to be a Nigerian bridesmaid.

May, 29

Highest amount spent bridesmaiding: ₦800k

I spent that much on one wedding because I had to take flights to the bride’s village for the traditional wedding and then to Abuja for the church wedding. That cost about ₦300k. Then I spent about ₦150k on two outfits, ₦50k on make-up and contributed ₦30k with the other bridesmaids to throw the bride a bridal shower.

I can’t remember how I spent the rest now, but I still bought her a gift and took her out to eat one time. Then there was the cost of transportation within both cities and spraying money during the reception. I even had to borrow money for my flight back because my salary was delayed a bit. The expenses were worth it because she’s my childhood best friend. I wouldn’t spend that much money if it were someone else.

My usual bridesmaid budget is ₦100k – ₦200k and the outfits take most of the money — specifically sewing. Aso-ebi can cost between ₦15k – ₦50k, and my tailor charges between ₦30k – ₦50k. I try to limit bridesmaid activities to once every two months because of these expenses.

Rebecca, 26

Highest amount spent bridesmaiding: ₦300k

The bride lived on the outskirts of Lagos and didn’t provide any accommodation. She expected all six bridesmaids to manage in one room in her dad’s house for two days. I couldn’t do that. I think I spent about ₦80k on hotel fees alone — I stayed three days because I was too tired after the wedding.

I actively avoid bridesmaid activities — because where is the money? — but when I have to, I try to keep my budget under ₦100k. That almost never works out because I still have to spend on Uber cabs, make-up and outfits. And good owambe make-up starts from ₦20k. How much is remaining?

Ola, 31

Highest amount spent bridesmaiding: ₦400k

My husband and I drove from one city to another for that wedding, so a good percentage of the ₦400k went into servicing and fueling the car for the six-hour journey.

Out of that ₦400k, I also contributed ₦30k for the bridal shower, ₦20k for the wedding gift and ₦60k for hotel accommodation. Aso-ebi was ₦45k and sewing was ₦15k. I also had to buy shoes, a new purse and new hair. The hair cost about ₦100k.

I think a reasonable bridesmaid budget is ₦200k, especially with how expensive things are now. At least, I don’t do it every weekend, and I can only be a bridesmaid for people I care about.

Chioma, 23

Highest amount spent bridesmaiding: ₦150k

I’ve actually only been a bridesmaid once in my life. The expenses would’ve been more than that, but the bride is my close friend, and she was very understanding of the fact that I was going through a rough time.

The aso-ebi cost ₦50k, but she gave it to me for free. I used ₦50k to sew it and contributed ₦15k for the bridal shower. I made souvenirs for the wedding and that cost ₦35k. Make-up cost ₦15k, and the rest went into transportation, spraying and helping the bride pay for random things.

I feel like ₦150k is a reasonable budget for a bridesmaid. When it’s not like I’m the one getting married.

Prisca*, 26

Highest amount spent bridesmaiding: ₦200k

This was a few months ago and the money I spent still annoys me because I’d already accepted to be a bridesmaid before realising I’d have to buy two different aso-ebi for the traditional and white weddings. That cost ₦40k. The bride also asked all the bridesmaids to do a ponytail for the wedding, so I had to install a 360 lace wig. That cost about ₦120k. Then there was still make-up, hotel fees, styling and the rest.

I’ll make sure to confirm what I’m expected to buy before I agree to be a bridesmaid again. Spending more than ₦100k for someone else’s wedding is wild.

Jola*, 30

Highest amount spent bridesmaiding: ₦250k

I was the chief bridesmaid and a lot of that money went into getting outfits for the engagement party, traditional wedding, white wedding and afterparty. That also meant triple the cost of makeup (because of the three different events) and transportation. The bride handled accommodation and feeding, though. So, that helped.

My usual bridesmaid budget is ₦80k – ₦100k. Most of my friends don’t like wahala and a good number of them combined the traditional and white wedding on the same day. One-day weddings are usually more cost-effective because you’re just spending once. Right now, my motto is, “Count me out of any wedding that goes over a day”.

*Some names have been changed for anonymity.

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