muslim | Page 2 of 2

1. When someone stains your white and expects you to not talk because you are fasting.

“Aunty, you dey fast na’.
2. Getting your period 10 minutes before Maghrib.

The fast won’t count because Aunty Flo decided to spoil show.
3. When your colleagues ask you why you can’t drink water.

“But water is not food now”
4. When you attend an Owambe and have to turn down party Jollof.

You have to pretend it is not chooking you.
5. When your colleagues start eating their lunch in your presence.

“I’m not crying, rice enter my eye”.
6. Waking up late and missing Sahur.

Because bad things happen to good people and now you have to fast on an empty stomach.
7. THIS!!!

Someone will definitely catch these hands.
8. Hearing the Imam recite ‘Alif Lam Mim’ during’ Taraweeh.

It is going to be a long night.
9. When you eat one spoon of rice at Iftar and get full immediately.

So the hunger pangs were for nothing?
10. Knowing you can’t blame any of your bad deeds during Ramadan.

Satan is chilling in hell so you are just a terrible person deep down uno.
More Zikoko!
https://zikoko.com/list/15-things-nigerian-muslims-definitely-tired-hearing/
1. When you hear Ramadan, and you’re already thinking of the 2-day public holiday at the end of it.

God bless you guys!
2. And all the food that you’ll be going around eating.

Imma need these days to move fast.
3. When they finally announce the public holidays and it’s not a long weekend.

What’s all these?
4. How you greet all your Muslim acquaintances.

Where that meat at?
5. When you dress up on Eid day and people start asking if you’re a Muslim too.

No, I’m just going to eat.
6. When you see your Muslim friends receiving Sallah money from their relatives.

Y’all get Sallah money? Why don’t Christians give Easter money though?
7. When you’re keeping an eye on your neighbor’s house to know when they start serving the meat, so you’ll ‘unintentionally’ walk past.

Don’t mind me. Just running an errand.
8. When you hear some people saying this is not the ram holiday.

Are you kidding me? Are we here to joke?
9. You, yesterday, when the government added one more day to the public holidays.

Yass!!!
10. When you secretly wish that they won’t still sight the moon so that Friday can be a public holiday too.

The moon should lost please.
11. But now you’re confused about which day to go about eating.

Is it today or tomorrow?
12. When your boss calls to ask if you can manage to come to work on Thursday.

NO!
13. When you finally get the reward you’ve been waiting for.

Happy Eid!!!
1. When someone asks you if you’re one of the missing Chibok girls.

Stupidity has taken over you abi?
2. When people want to know if you have hair on your head.

No, it’s grass that grows on my head.
3. Getting asked “Do you really have to wear that thing on your head?”

Do you have to ask me dumb questions?
4. When people ask if you shower with your hijab.

Ode.
5. How people act surprised when they find out you actually have a brain like every normal human being

Nonsense!
6. When people give your hijab ridiculous names.

https://twitter.com/zainvbs/status/719551003184467968
Na wa o!
7. When people assume you’re married and your husband “forced” you to wear the hijab.

I’m not even engaged, stupid.
8. When people tell you to take off your hijab.

Can I take your brain off too?
9. When people say you’re too pretty to be Muslim.

Shut up abeg!
10. When people say you will die single because you cover your hair.

Well, the brothers in my DMs think otherwise sha.
11. When people say you cannot be feminist.

So I should be misogynistic?
12. How people act shocked when you have an opinion.

Fly will just enter your mouth.
13. When lecherous men still cat-call you like “Alhaja to ta lenu”.

Are you alright?
14. When everybody calls you Alhaja and assumes you have already gone to Mecca.

But I don’t have Mecca money na.
15. That awkward moment when a man tries to shake your hand.

No vex habeg.
16. When people say it’s impossible for you to have a huge career but you’re actually winning at life.

Watch me, bruh!
17. When people still ask if you’re a Muslim after seeing you in the hijab.

Are you okay?
18. When people ask you why you bother to take care of your hair and body if you’re only going to cover them.

So I should be ashy and dirty abi?
19. When people assume you’re Hausa and Fulani and speak the language to you when they meet you.

Sorry oh, tribal prefect.
20. When you’re on your period and someone is still giving you sermon because you didn’t go to pray.

Olodo!
21. When your hijab pins stab you more than 10 times in one day.

Kuku kill me.
22. When you realise you have to sell all your properties to buy ordinary Abaya.

*Cries in empty bank account*

1. When someone stains your white and expects you to not talk because you are fasting.

2. Getting your period 10 minutes before Maghrib.

3. When your colleagues ask you why you can’t drink water.

4. When you attend an Owambe and have to turn down party Jollof.

5. When your colleagues start eating their lunch in your presence.

6. Waking up late and missing Sahur.

7. THIS!!!

8. Hearing the Imam recite ‘Alif Lam Mim’ during’ Taraweeh.

9. When you eat one spoon of rice at Iftar and get full immediately.

10. Knowing you can’t blame any of your bad deeds during Ramadan.

More Zikoko!

1. When you hear Ramadan, and you’re already thinking of the 2-day public holiday at the end of it.

2. And all the food that you’ll be going around eating.

3. When they finally announce the public holidays and it’s not a long weekend.

4. How you greet all your Muslim acquaintances.

5. When you dress up on Eid day and people start asking if you’re a Muslim too.

6. When you see your Muslim friends receiving Sallah money from their relatives.

7. When you’re keeping an eye on your neighbor’s house to know when they start serving the meat, so you’ll ‘unintentionally’ walk past.

8. When you hear some people saying this is not the ram holiday.

9. You, yesterday, when the government added one more day to the public holidays.

10. When you secretly wish that they won’t still sight the moon so that Friday can be a public holiday too.

11. But now you’re confused about which day to go about eating.

12. When your boss calls to ask if you can manage to come to work on Thursday.

13. When you finally get the reward you’ve been waiting for.

1. When someone asks you if you’re one of the missing Chibok girls.

2. When people want to know if you have hair on your head.

3. Getting asked “Do you really have to wear that thing on your head?”

4. When people ask if you shower with your hijab.

5. How people act surprised when they find out you actually have a brain like every normal human being

6. When people give your hijab ridiculous names.

7. When people assume you’re married and your husband “forced” you to wear the hijab.

8. When people tell you to take off your hijab.

9. When people say you’re too pretty to be Muslim.

10. When people say you will die single because you cover your hair.

11. When people say you cannot be feminist.

12. How people act shocked when you have an opinion.

13. When lecherous men still cat-call you like “Alhaja to ta lenu”.

14. When everybody calls you Alhaja and assumes you have already gone to Mecca.

15. That awkward moment when a man tries to shake your hand.

16. When people say it’s impossible for you to have a huge career but you’re actually winning at life.

17. When people still ask if you’re a Muslim after seeing you in the hijab.

18. When people ask you why you bother to take care of your hair and body if you’re only going to cover them.

19. When people assume you’re Hausa and Fulani and speak the language to you when they meet you.

20. When you’re on your period and someone is still giving you sermon because you didn’t go to pray.

21. When your hijab pins stab you more than 10 times in one day.

22. When you realise you have to sell all your properties to buy ordinary Abaya.