Matilda | Zikoko!

Every Nigerian adult probably watched Matilda more than 5 times while growing up — Channels Television showed it every other day. Now, as an adult, it’s easy to see why we loved the movie so much. We could relate to Matilda because she basically had Nigerian parents too.

1. When they turned her into their maid as soon as she could walk.

The unofficial reason Nigerian parents have children is so there’s someone to thaw the chicken and pass the remote.

2. When her father hit her with the ultimate Nigerian parent logic:

Nigerian parents are always right. You are always wrong. You just have to live with it.

3. When her parents didn’t know how old she actually was.

Nigerian parents will never get your age right. Be happy if they even remember your birthday.

4. When Matilda corrected her father and he hit her with:

Don’t ever correct your Nigerian parents. Just don’t.

5. When she tried talking to her mother when she was on the phone:

You are the last person your Nigerian mother wants to see near her when she is on the phone. Be going.

6. When her father told the principal that Matilda needed discipline.

Nigerian parents are always happy when you get punished in school. To them, it means the school is good.

7. How her father dropped her off at school:

Nigerian parents don’t have time for too much talk. They just wanted you to get down and be going.

8. The first question her father asked when he saw her teacher:

Nigerian parents always just assume you’re misbehaving in school. That’s why Open Day was their favourite school activity.

9. When Matilda’s father asked her the ultimate rhetorical question.

Nigerian parents are the masters of the rhetorical question. If you answer they will slap you, if you don’t, they will still slap you.

10. When Matilda’s father saw her reading a novel.

If it is not a school book, Nigerian parents don’t want to see you reading it.

11. When Matilda told her father the truth about her insane principal:

Nigerian parents will believe every other adult before they believe you.

12. When they kept forgetting her name.

If your Nigerian parents have more than one child, then they definitely called you the wrong name more than once.
1. When she said her motto was:

Nigerian principals were basically obsessed with flogging us.
2. When she appeared and all the students immediately dispersed.

Nothing makes a Nigerian student run faster than the sight of their principal.
3. When she always walked around with a ‘weapon’ for flogging.

They are always ready to flog someone.
4. When she asked Amanda the meanest rhetorical question.

Nigerian principals and rhetorical questions are like one and two.
5. When she called a whole assembly just to punish one student.

Nigerian principals absolutely love publicly shaming their students.
6. When she used the ultimate Nigerian adult logic:

As far as they are older, they are automatically smarter.
7. When Matilda finally reported to her father.

Your parents will never ever believe you over them.
8. When she very clearly hated all her students.

You see a Nigerian principal and wonder why they chose that line of work when they obviously hate children.

1. When they turned her into their maid as soon as she could walk.

2. When her father hit her with the ultimate Nigerian parent logic:

3. When her parents didn’t know how old she actually was.

4. When Matilda corrected her father and he hit her with:

5. When she tried talking to her mother when she was on the phone:

6. When her father told the principal that Matilda needed discipline.

7. How her father dropped her off at school:

8. The first question her father asked when he saw her teacher:

9. When Matilda’s father asked her the ultimate rhetorical question.

10. When Matilda’s father saw her reading a novel.

11. When Matilda told her father the truth about her insane principal:

12. When they kept forgetting her name.

1. When she said her motto was:

2. When she appeared and all the students immediately dispersed.

3. When she always walked around with a ‘weapon’ for flogging.

4. When she asked Amanda the meanest rhetorical question.

5. When she called a whole assembly just to punish one student.

6. When she used the ultimate Nigerian adult logic:

7. When Matilda finally reported to her father.

8. When she very clearly hated all her students.