• Dating a lawyer sounds exciting until you realise you’re arguing about who left the tap running or competing with their packed schedules for attention. From corporate powerhouses to law undergraduates, we asked seven Nigerians to share their experiences dating lawyers and let’s say it’s not always suit-and-tie romance.

    Bisi*

    My ex and current partner are lawyers, and while both are extremely intelligent and passionate, their intelligence can sometimes complicate relationships. My ex treated our relationship like a business. He’d document our discussions and refer back to them during arguments. It got so bad I started watching every word I said because he’d use it against me later. That pressure eventually ended things between us.

    My current partner has similar tendencies, but he reminds himself that we’re lovers, not in a courtroom. With him, I don’t feel like I’m constantly being cross-examined, even when we argue.

    Ayo*

    As a lawyer who’s dated other lawyers, I’ll say some stereotypes about us are exaggerated. That said, lawyers can be insufferable. While not all of us turn every conversation into an argument, many do. Because I’ve mostly dated within the field, this hasn’t been an issue—we both see arguing as playful banter rather than conflict.

    But here’s something people don’t talk about: the high-pressure lifestyle. Depending on their area of practice, lawyers tend to be workaholics and often resort to substances to cope. Back in law school, my friends and I experimented heavily, and while we’ve toned it down now, stressful cases can bring it back. Not everyone can handle dating someone with that kind of coping mechanism.

    Kunle*

    I once dated a corporate lawyer, and let me tell you—that babe was monied. She handled high-profile clients, had access to insane luxury, and always looked stunning in her expensive outfits. Dinner at five-star restaurants and hopping expensive hotels became our norm. She hardly asked me for anything, and it felt like a dream considering Nigeria’s shitty dating pool.

    But then she relocated abroad for work last year, and distance ruined things. We tried to make it work, but it wasn’t sustainable. Since then, I’ve been trying to bag another corporate lawyer babe, but I’ve not found my spec.

    Joy*

    I had a situationship with a lawyer once, and by the time it ended, I understood why it never became something more. Every conversation felt like a debate. He never considered my opinions or alternatives to his views—it was always his way or nothing.

    Yes, he was attractive and occasionally swept me off my feet, but his egotism and misogyny were dealbreakers. After a while, I couldn’t stand him. There were good moments, but the bad ones left me with no choice but to walk away.

    Evelyn*

    It depends on the kind of lawyer, really. My dad’s a lawyer, and his dedication to our family inspired me to date one. My ex wasn’t the problem—our breakup was mutual and not because of his profession. If anything, his legal background gave me peace of mind. He was big on “rights” and fair treatment, and I always felt secure knowing he’d never cheat or manipulate me.

    Another thing I loved? He seemed to know everyone. Anytime I had a problem, he’d always have a connection to help. That kind of influence and reliability was one of the best parts of dating him.

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    Hakeem*

    As a law undergraduate, I’ve dated two female law students, and honestly, dating within the faculty is chaotic. We’re all juggling the same intense schedules, but seeing my partner mirror my struggles brought us closer in some ways. One of my exes was so organised she’d schedule our dates on Google Calendar. At first, I frowned at it, but I found myself doing the same.

    What stood out most was how easily we slipped into professional mode. Sometimes, we’d sit together in silence, prepping for case studies, and it felt like a work partnership more than a relationship.

    Amarachi*

    Dating a lawyer has its pros and cons. On the bright side, my partner is a great listener, a thoughtful planner, and amazing with decision-making. His attention to detail means he knows exactly what I like, plans the best dates, and never runs out of topics to discuss. He’s principled, disciplined, well-dressed, and incredibly reliable—if he says he’ll be somewhere in five minutes, he’s there. Plus, being with him comes with unmatched respect everywhere we go.

    The downside? He’s often too busy, with little time for holidays or rest, and work can make him distant or unavailable. He’s stubborn and meticulous, always ready to back his arguments with facts, which can be frustrating during disagreements. But he’s honest to a fault and rarely lies.

    To date a lawyer, you need patience, understanding, and grace. They’re under constant pressure, often just needing someone to listen rather than offer solutions. If you can be supportive and let them lean on you when needed, they make incredibly loving and dependable partners.

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  • This week is one of those times where we, as a country, wonder if the constitution is simply a suggestion. Many lawyers have complained of studying and practising law in a lawless state. Like with most issues, women’s experiences take a unique form. In this article, nine Nigerian female lawyers talk about practising law in Nigeria. 

    Nigerian female lawyers

    Jumoke

    I have had clients who refuse to pay me what they would pay my male colleagues because of misogyny. This has happened to me three times over the past year. There was this client my aunt introduced me to. We were discussing one of his properties when he asked me to send him nudes. I was like from where to where? He was my biggest client at the time so I ignored him. After everything, he was to pay me 100k, and he kept posting me. He would say things like, “You are a woman, what are you using that amount of money for?” To date, he still hasn’t paid me. 

    Another client asked for my number under the guise of helping him prepare a contract. Instead of listening to me, he would be telling me he wants to make me his second wife. When I asked him for his email address to send an invoice for the contract so he can pay a deposit and I can start working, he said he has a lawyer and he just wanted to help me. 

    I am expected to handle all of this professionally. I can’t call them out because I am afraid of being professionally blacklisted. 

    Yemi

    When I was in law school, I  worked at a small law firm as part of the bar assessment. The lawyer who owned the firm was also a lecturer at my university, so he didn’t always come to the office. He said I and the other women from law school that worked there didn’t have to come to work all the time, which was fine with us, since we were preparing for bar exams. Sometimes, we would go because we had to fill our log sheet with activities. But the man always made us run errands every time we went to the office. It was extra annoying because there were two other male lawyers and a cleaner in the office as well. One day, we got to work and the office was dirty — the cleaner wasn’t around. The owner of the firm asked us, the female law students, to clean it, talking about how we will behave in our husband’s house. It was such a degrading experience. 

    Adesuwa 

    I wouldn’t describe it as a smooth experience. Most law firms are inherently misogynistic in their policies and practices. 

    Female lawyers are often passed over for high profile cases outside jurisdiction because they are supposedly meant to be catering to their homes and wouldn’t have time for such cases.

    There is also a sexual harassment problem in law firms — I have heard of instances where senior partners harass female junior associates. There is a certain way a female lawyer is supposed to look and it changes depending on the setting. In courts you can’t be too pretty or flashy, else there’s an assumption that you don’t know what you’re doing. At the office, you have to wear makeup and high heels to be taken seriously. I hate all of it.

    Ego 

    I used to work in a law firm where I experienced a lot of benevolent sexism. I had a supervisor who used to infantilize women. He would say, “ Why would a woman be carrying her case file when I’m there?” or “Why would I send a woman to a case out of town when there are men there?” and so on. There are a lot of gender roles within the profession. Most people believe that men are better at litigation than women. I saw that while my peers and I were paid the same amount as the men, our superiors also expected the women to take up roles like party planning or sharing food. I also noticed that the bias becomes more visible as you climb the ladder. When I was being interviewed for the job, they asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I planned on getting married. They wanted to know how long I could work for them before, according to them, marriage and kids get in the way. 

    Clients also have a bias against us. They accord my male colleagues more respect than they do me because I am a woman. It’s baffling. When I say something, they argue with me but when my male colleague says the same thing they immediately agree. I’ve had a client call me “Babe” multiple times and comment on my looks in front of my male supervisor. They laughed about it. My voice is tiny and my physique is small. People tend to use my voice and appearance to try to discredit what I say or try to bully me and stuff. I’ve learned to hold my ground but I wish I didn’t have to. 

    Pelumi 

    First and foremost, practising law in Nigeria is hard. After all that stress from university and law school, we are offered peanuts as salary. As a practising female lawyer, I have to work harder than my male counterparts because there is an assumption that female lawyers are not good enough. Male colleagues are more likely to be promoted than female lawyers. 

    There is also the case of being addressed as gentlemen at the bar. It doesn’t look like anyone is questioning and I don’t understand why. I have also heard people say female lawyers don’t make good wives. I don’t even understand the rationale behind this. 

    Ife 

    I washed my hands off practising litigation from the beginning — I am more of a corporate lawyer. It is a fun and rewarding experience but Lagos traffic ruins everything. My house is quite far from the firm I work at, so I spend an average of four hours in traffic every day. This kills the vibe for me. 

    Titi 

    There was a time I had a case outside our jurisdiction, which I was looking forward to. But my boss told me to stay back at the Chambers because I am a woman. 

    He said I couldn’t cope with the stress. What happened to me gaining experience on how proceedings are done outside my state? 

    Then there’s the dress code. I can’t dye my hair because I’m a lawyer. I can’t make bum length braids because I’m a lawyer. So many things I’d like to do but can’t because I am always in court and I don’t want the judge to embarrass me. 

    Korede 

    It’s tough being a young female lawyer in Nigeria. On some days, it’s the absolute ghetto. On other days, it’s okay. People think I don’t know as much as my male counterparts. There is this shock on some clients’ faces when they realize they will be attended to by a female lawyer. There are the clients that make passes at you during the first meeting. It’s all very annoying. 

    Blessing

    I worked in one of the biggest law firms in Nigeria and I faced emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse while working there. I thought the owner of the firm was a father figure, so it took a while for me to see his behaviour for what it was. Sometimes, he would walk up to me to say that he wanted someone to lay on his back — someone with my body stature. Other times, he would remove the pendant of my necklace from in between my breasts and say, “As a lady, your necklace should sit on your breasts.” He had a habit of dusting off invisible dirt on my clothes. He would send me errands in front of clients and insult me even when everything goes right just to belittle me in front of everyone. I was the only female lawyer in the office so I was alone dealing with this. 

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  • If like me, you had these misconceptions about what it means to be Lawyer, I welcome you. I gathered a couple of lawyers to help clarify what it means to be a Lawyer.

    Here’s what they had to say:

    1) “People think that being a lawyer is about going to court. Quite similar to what they watch on legal dramas like Suits or even in Nollywood movies. Practicing as a lawyer is more than that – there are many fields under law, and litigation (which involves court) is just one of them. You can practice as a lawyer and never appear in court, at least I haven’t. I don’t plan on ever doing.”

    2) “People think that if you argue a lot, you will make a good lawyer. ‘Lawyering’ is more than being able to argue. In fact, the important thing is not being able to argue but being able to put your point across in a concise and intelligent manner. More importantly, lawyers should be analytical.

    For example, they should be able to provide solutions when faced with issues clients might have, or pick out pertinent points from various sources. A bit of common sense will help too.”

    3) “People might feel that consulting a lawyer is expensive. But, if shit goes wrong, you’d wish you had a lawyer to advise you in the first place because now you’d have to spend more money + time you’d have saved. Even things that are seemingly simple such as agreements or getting licenses for your business may prove difficult because you refuse to engage lawyers.

    You can’t compare the experience a lawyer has in drafting/reviewing various agreements to your lack of experience in contract drafting (even though you have a template and it looks good to you).

    It’s more than that. Every clause has a meaning, every line is important and should be tailored to your specific case but you can’t know that without someone who has experience in these things advising you. I’ve had people come to my law firm countless times because they sought to acquire licenses for their businesses but got stuck. Yes, we got them out of the quagmire but they spent more money + time than they bargained for.”

    4) “Litigation isn’t exactly as it appears in movies/series. LMAO, it’s a scam. It isn’t anything like that and it’s much worse I would say. First, no one shouts “objection, my lord”. Cases take forever to conclude and it’s boring as hell. I’m not about that life.”

    5) “I wonder why people think lawyers are well paid. Basically, you could have good grades and still work for 30k per month because jobs are few. You’d see lawyers going into other professions like tech, banking, consulting, entertainment, or entrepreneurship.”

    6) “People think that lawyers are liars(the most apparent I guess). It’s ridiculous.”

    7) “We don’t all like being called Barrister. At least all the ones I know of. It’s crude.”

    8) “We smile when people crack all those ‘let me commit crime jokes’ to keep the peace. Deep down, we don’t find it funny.”


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