1. Everyone older than you is either your aunty or your uncle.

We are not even related.

2. What every grade means:

The struggle.

3. Every Saturday morning is environmental sanitation.

Ugh! The worst.

4. When you want to call any of your older siblings you have to start with “Brother” or “Sister”

Why na?

5. When you see an adult sweeping you have 3 seconds to run and collect that broom from them.

Hay God!

6. Your left hand is for you, your right hand is the only hand that matters.

What did the hand do to you people?

7. When your parents call you, the answer is never ever “what?”

“YES MA!”

8. The Morning Fresh is never finished, just add water.

Don’t waste money.

9. University and Religion are NOT optional.

Unless you want to go and live under the bridge.

10. You can’t date until you’re married.

See wahala.

11. When your parents are angry every question they ask is rhetorical.

Just keep quiet.

12. If you don’t want rice then you’re not hungry.

Na wa.

13. Your career options:

Chineke!