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1. When you have to become their personal driver.

“Oya! Take me to the market.”
2. You, trying to find some privacy.

The absolute worst.
3. When they always manage to find something to lecture you about.

Hay God!
4. When your friends that live alone start complaining about bills.

Who sent you?
5. You, when your friends say they want to visit.

Uhm. Maybe some other time.
6. When they start complaining about you always being in your room.

Can I be, please?
7. When you try to form adult for them.

“Under my roof?”
8. When they start inventing weird chores for you to do.

“Clean the back of the TV and under the car.”
9. When they keep shouting your name without ever saying what they want.

What is it sef?
10. You, when they are sleeping vs. Them, when you are sleeping.

It can pain.
11. When you stay out late without calling them.

“You will come home and meet me.”
12. When they call you to get something that is right beside them.

Na wa oh!
13. When they send you to bring something and you say you couldn’t find it.

“If I go and I find it…”
14. When every small thing you do starts to annoy them.

It’s like it is time to move out.
15. When you’re out with your guys and they call you to start coming home.

See ehn, this one hurts.
1. “Who are the network providers again?”

Ah! How many years and you don’t remember MTN?
2. “How do you load [insert network provider] credit again?”

I can’t even vex. I’m still here and I don’t even know it.
3. “I really missed [insert Nigerian food].”

Ehn! Go and eat na.
4. “Ugh! The internet is so slow here.”

Na so we see am.
5. “How much is that in [insert dollars/pounds]?”

You see yourself.
6. “Has light always been this bad?”

What are you asking?
7. “Oh! When did they renovate [insert first place they visit]?”

Let’s go, biko.
8. “OMG! It’s sooo hot.”

We apologize on behalf of the sun.
9. “How do you get to [insert place that is 5 minutes from their house] again?”

Don’t vex me, abeg.
10. “Ugh! Traffic is so terrible.”

You know all of you are adding to it sha.
11. “Do you know anywhere I can get [insert oyinbo thing]?”

Organic kini? Nope. Nah. Uhn-Uhn.
12. “So this place is still like this?”

It’s not your fault.
13. “Is [insert last spot they visited before leaving] still open?”

The spot is almost always a club.
14. “I think I’m reacting to the [insert water, food, or air].”

Ah! Sorry oh.
15. “Wow! They have [insert oyinbo thing] here now. That’s nice.”

We are trying small small.

1. When you have to become their personal driver.

2. You, trying to find some privacy.

3. When they always manage to find something to lecture you about.

4. When your friends that live alone start complaining about bills.

5. You, when your friends say they want to visit.

6. When they start complaining about you always being in your room.

7. When you try to form adult for them.

8. When they start inventing weird chores for you to do.

9. When they keep shouting your name without ever saying what they want.

10. You, when they are sleeping vs. Them, when you are sleeping.

11. When you stay out late without calling them.

12. When they call you to get something that is right beside them.

13. When they send you to bring something and you say you couldn’t find it.

14. When every small thing you do starts to annoy them.

15. When you’re out with your guys and they call you to start coming home.

1. “Who are the network providers again?”

2. “How do you load [insert network provider] credit again?”

3. “I really missed [insert Nigerian food].”

4. “Ugh! The internet is so slow here.”

5. “How much is that in [insert dollars/pounds]?”

6. “Has light always been this bad?”

7. “Oh! When did they renovate [insert first place they visit]?”

8. “OMG! It’s sooo hot.”

9. “How do you get to [insert place that is 5 minutes from their house] again?”

10. “Ugh! Traffic is so terrible.”

11. “Do you know anywhere I can get [insert oyinbo thing]?”

12. “So this place is still like this?”

13. “Is [insert last spot they visited before leaving] still open?”

14. “I think I’m reacting to the [insert water, food, or air].”

15. “Wow! They have [insert oyinbo thing] here now. That’s nice.”