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  • 1. You have to go back to work after enjoying your holiday.

    2. Your crush is now too busy for you.

    3. Meanwhile your boyfriend is still there, making noise and being a nuisance.

    4. Your bank account is in shambles….

    5. … but you still have so many bills to pay.

    6. Your aunties resume their “when will you marry” campaign.

    7. And if you have kids, no one has magically paid your their school fees for the term.

    8. So you’re just praying to make it, like:

    9. Everyday you wake up and check the date but somehow it has not passed the 15th of January.

    10. Meanwhile every minute seems 6 hours long.

    11. Anyway you’re a champion, so you survive…. only to face February like…

  • 1. When you give the conductor 500 naira and he says “I dey come”.

    2. When the supermarket cashier says they don’t have change.

    3. When you buy something in traffic and the traffic lights change before you can collect change.

    4. When you send your small cousin on an errand and they decide your change is their payment.

    5. When you put change in your bag and it disappears somewhere inside… forever.

    6. When policemen decide to harass you, you look at your change like:

    7. When your are in a hurry and you forget your change in the supermarket.

  • 1. When you want to just open an account and they bring one million forms to fill.

    2. When it’s taking a million years for them to sort out your BVN number.

    3. When it takes an additional one million years to get your debit card.

    4. When your debit alerts are quick to appear and credit alerts are slow to enter.

    5. When the bank starts telling you stories about their nonsense bank charges.

    6. When you conduct a foreign transaction and your bank exchange rate wants to kill you.

    7. When your bank starts doing concert and food festival as if that’s their work.

    8. When the bank app is just a waste of space because it doesn’t work.

    9. When ordinary cheque clearance takes over 3 days.

    10. When you want to close your account and they now start disturbing you with offers to do better.

  • 1. All your debtors refuse to pick up your phone calls.

    And later they will say you should help people oh!

    2. All your creditors suddenly remember you exist.

    Ah doesn’t the bible say you should forgive debt?

    3. Everyone starts dropping aso ebi for you to buy.

    So in this economy you people can still marry?

    4. Your phone and laptop decide to stop working.

    Ah! See the devil at work.

    5. There is a NEPA surge and all your electrical appliances at home blow.

    Enemies are at work.

    6. All your friends suddenly want to go for lunch or dinner every other day.

    You people don’t have rice at home?

    7. Your siblings suddenly remember you’re their favourite sibling.

    Everybody better recognise they are on their own oh!

    8. Your church starts asking for supernatural giving.

    It’s not me you people will kill!

    9. People start coming to borrow even more money.

    Do I look like someone that can even help myself?

    10. Your next salary is so far way and has even already finished before you get it!

    Life is not easy oh.