1. How your mother reacts to them:

She can already tell this one is good for nothing!

2. How your fake friends respond when you say hello:

Never happy to see you!

3. But when they need something from you they’re like:

“HIIIIIIIIII I’ve really missed you!”

4. When something amazing happens to you, on the inside they’re like:

Why must this one win?

5. But they pretend to be happy for you like:

“I just want you to know how proud I am of you.” YIMU

6. When you talk about something you’re trying to achieve, they’re like:

“Ummm that doesn’t really sound like it’s possible.”

7. And then when you achieve it they’re like:

“How did you do it? Hmmm really?”

8. If your life was a nollywood movie they would be played by:

Always hoping for your downfall!

9. Whenever there is any drama involving you, they’re in the middle of it like:

“Ah let me even gist you people very well!”

10. How they take note of everything going on in your life:

Monitoring spirits!

11. Their version of sympathy:

Pointing and laughing and doing “I told you so!”.

12. When you finally see them for what they are, you’re like:

“AH! All this time?”

13. You flourishing regardless:

Shame to fake friends!